The Start of Our Relationship and the People Who Did(n't) Like It.

You couldn't find a happier couple on the planet, I will tell you that. Catherine and I complemented each other so well, as if we were made for one another.
We never fought; just had debates and minor misundersandings. Never once did we jump to conclusions or fly off the handle and pointed fingers. All we did was sit and talk. That was one of our strong points: our willingness to find a middle ground. And once everything was sorted out, we made sure to learn from what we had just discussed.

I remember our first date at a nice restaurant. Okay, it was a pizza joint. We sat down at our table and ordered some drinks, holding hands and just talking. Everything was going fine until a couple next to us felt uncomfortable and demanded that they have their table changed. Catherine and I weren't doing anything over the top, mind you. We weren't making out right there and then, just holding hands on the table and saying sweet things. The looks those two gave us were the nastiest we have ever gotten. Then I heard the woman say that we were (you guessed it!) going to burn for the sin of sodomy. I kid you all not. I wish to God almighty above us all that I was joking. It didn't ruin our night, but it made us think. For a while we theorized about homophobia, what the root of it is and why it prevails.

So our date wsn't a total bust.
At school we kept our relationship under wraps; to anyone else we were just the best of friends. It was a smart move on our part, really; kids can be very cruel. But no matter how well you think you are keeping a secret, a few people figure it out. I should have expected it, really. But nothing prepares you for the day that you're called a bunch of derogatory names to your face. It hurt, it really did. Luckily for us, we had a support system: our friends and family. Without them, I don't think we would have survived it all. As we all went from grade to grade, they found better things to do with their time than pick on people. I ddin't know how much longer I had to take being called a dyke for the 1,000,000,000 time.

But as you know, adversity either makes or breaks people and their relationships. All of that made us stronger people. I can take on anything after that ordeal.

The six of us made such a wonderful group, bound together tighter than sisters. From study sessions to just plain goofing off, there was no other people I would rather be with. No one at all.

Realizations

So as you can see, my schooling and life was ordinary, nothing exceptional. Elementary school was very good, full of fun activities and teachers that were enthusiastic about teaching. Middle school was also very good. A few pitfalls here and there, but nothing I couldn't pick myself up from.

By the time I reached middle school I knew for a fact that I was different. I never found myself attracted to any boys, and most of my time was spent with my friends. Friday and Saturday nights were typically either me studying or hanging out with my friends. I didn't mind; honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. That's not to say I wasn't asked out by some of my male friends. I politely declined all of them.

The moment of truth came after a study session with me and Catherine. For a while I had a crush on her, but I didn't know if she would reciprocate. If she didn't, then I was more than content to stay her friend. I never heard her remark about boys, or even other girls for that matter.
Were were on the couch, holding hands and watching a movie. It was a film adaptation of a short horror novella, the name if which I can't remember. At some point during the movie, we turned to each other and...well, we kissed. After the first time, we kissed often throughout the movie. After she left to go home, I realized that I was indeed a lesbian. I knew that it wasn't fleeing; it was here to stay. It was who I was.

The first people I told were my friends, who were completely supportive of me. Vivian told me to go pursue my feelings and not hold back, even for a moment.

However, I waited a bit to tell my parents. I knew that they would've probably told me that I was too young to think like that. I was only 13-14 years old at the time. That reaction was completely understandable.

And when I finally did tell them? They were so chill and so accepting. No judgement, no shaming. Just accepting me for who I was. Even my little brother Tommy didn't give me any hell. He just hugged me and said that it was okay. I was so happy. Catherine's mother and father already knew, and had long accepted her as well. So luckily for us, there was no drama. Well, except for my grandmother on my dad's side. She said that I was going to hell if I didn't change my ways. It wasn't until I started college that she relented. I still don't think she likes me, though.

Catherine and I talked for a long time about our feelings, and the summer was filled with us hanging out, almost always together. Were weren't 'dating' in the traditional sense just yet. Come to think of it, I don't know why we waited so long. We both knew what we wanted, but maybe it was just us celebrating our final summer as only 'best friends'. But come 9th grade, Catherine and I were officially official.

Just talking about this makes me cry. I miss her so badly. I wish I could've done something. But now, I think it's just too late.

Of Friends, Forests and Disney

I left off last post talking about how I met Catherine and my friends. I remember one day, when we were all taking a walk in one of the parks near my old house I mentioned offhandedly how I wanted to be pretty, maybe try and put brightly colored ribbons in my hair. Catherine exclaimed, "Oh, so that's what you've been up to. I won't let you get popular with the boys! You're mine, Ellie! Mine mine mine!" and playfully chased me around until she grabbed me, holding me very tightly as if that would keep me there forever. We all laughed and thought it very funny.
I remember that along the rocky path we always walked on there was a forest at the end of it. It was really, really spooky, but Florence said that she wasn't afraid and tried to walk in one or twice. She's bravest of us all. Rebecca would hold her back and say that they shouldn't. Flo would always ask why, and Becca would say that we could get lost, or something along the lines of that. That's Rebecca for you. Stopping people from making bad or rash decisions. I think that Florence went in on a dare a few days later, but she either saw or heard something and ran out. We didn't blame her; those woods were creepy as hell.

Catherine once told me that she would only be comfortable going into those woods if I came with her. I agreed, and we tried going in  by ourselves. We never did. It was  just too unnerving. There were no birdsongs or rustling of little animals. Just pure silence. And even on the warmest, brightest days that forest was dark and cool. Something about it didn't seem right.

Back in the days of the Disney Renaissance, the girls and I would marathon through the ones on VHS and come up with stories all our own. Some of them were stories about how, through that dark forest, there was Beast's castle or maybe Sleeping Beauty being guarded by thorns. Others were about the Disney Princesses meeting and trotting into another tale. Maybe ones with Aurora fighting her way out of the dream world Maleficent put her in, or Snow White and Cinderella having parties with the dwarves and animals. We had so many stories going on that I can't possibly remember them all, which I wish I did. Memory is a strange thing.

Hello

So I'm just starting this as a way to cope with how I feel. It's been going on for months, now. I hate it.

I know that this is some blog that no one will probably read, but I don't care. My best friends told me that I need to get all of my feelings out, because they worry about me. None of what we're going through is good or healthy, so here it goes.

My name is Elizabeth Jayne Rosenthal. I'm 21 years old, born May 11, and I have no clue what my bloodtype is. Probably O. I'm a major in anthropology, I have a cat named Lunagirl and for the most part life is awesome. Well, was. It was awesome. Now, it's all surreal.

I was 5 years old when I met Catherine Marie Moore at Victor Montée Daycare Center. I barely remember my babyhood, but I remember meeting her. She toddled up to me and told me that I had the nicest, longest hair she had ever seen. When I was young, I had very, very long hair, down to my thighs. I wish I never cut it. We started talking about little things that I can't remember, and not soon we were inseparable. I remember that she was the one who started the whole 'Rapunzel' nickname.

Catherine would play with my hair and tell me that I was the fairest in the land. We would have so many playdates and sleepovers together, each and every one of them precious to me. We didn't have many friends other than each other due to us being branded 'weirdos'.

We stayed together even through elementary school, where I finally met lifelong friends, who in turn became hers. In order, I met Rebecca Schellen, Naomi Hertz, Florence Eichel and Vivian Laub. They are the ones who thought it would be a good idea to start this thing. I never doubted them once.

I'll continue another day. I need to sleep.