Right now we all stand upon the dawning of the year 2013, a new year with new hopes and new dreams. 2012 has been painful, but at the same time there were moments I enjoyed. The entire year Catherine has been on my mind nonstop, mostly me worrying sick about where she is. I still worry, and I doubt I will be able to shake it anytime soon.
My wish for 2013 is for her to return home to me, and to get the answers I need. I pray that it will be granted.
For everyone else out there, have a safe, happy and prosperous new year, and may 2013 be kind to you all.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Merry (late) Christmas
So hopefully you all enjoyed the holiday season as much as I have. I was supposed to write this yesterday, but I was swept away by presents, pancakes and parties. It was a lovely day, though I wish that Catherine was here with me. My girls celebrated it with their families, I celebrated it with mine. We're going to get together shortly to exchange the gifts we got for one another.
I hear we're supposed to get a lot of snow this winter. Here's to having snowball fights!
I hear we're supposed to get a lot of snow this winter. Here's to having snowball fights!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Nature's Church
I was awoken early the next morning by a strange feeling on my cheek, dancing across my lips and down my neck. Delirious, I at first thought it was Catherine's fingers, as she did have a habit of caressing my face as I slept in one of her more loving moods, but when the feeling crawled up my face once more, I opened my eyes to see a house spider comfortably resting on my nose.
Now, I don't like hurting bugs, I don't. But this black thing spooked me so bad that I nearly let out a yell. I slapped it off of my face and onto surfaces unknown, for I never saw it after that. After I calmed myself down enough, I went to the bathroom to check for any bites. I found none whatsoever, which was most certainly a good thing. Looking outside I saw that the sun was slowly starting to rise, and since our classes were at eight-thirty, I debated even going back to bed; didn't want to get too comfortable again. Might as well make some tea and get ready.
But then I thought about Catherine and that spider. The one on my face wasn't identical to the one we saw yesterday, and I honestly didn't feel comfortable with any arachnid (big or small) near her. It was the desire to protect Catherine, even from harmless little things, that made me go back into my room and curl up next to her. To hell with everything else.
The day passed on comfortably: we carpooled to school, met up with our girls, managed to eat lunch together before scattering to our respective destinations. The classes went smoothly, our phones managed to not glitch up royally (thank God), and we even ate out for dinner that night. I did see Catherine sometimes looking behind her and over my shoulder, but aside from that nothing went awry.
We returned on time, no later that ten, and completely exhausted we went to bed. As we lay there, not asleep yet not awake, Catherine gently nudged my shoulder.
"Hmm? You alright?" I said to her.
She nodded, "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still here."
It was a simple little sentence, but it meant so much to me. I kissed her forehead, and we slowly descended into blissful rest. That night I dreamed of a small, cozy cabin in the middle of a dense forest; the kind of home or vacation spot many would kill for. Inside were plenty of furnishings to go around, comfortable couches and beds, a full pantry and the sound of laughter from an invisible family. It was beautiful, soothing.
And then, in the blink of an eye, the cabin caught fire. I don't know where it started, but the flames crept up the walls and along the floors like a stalker in the night. Soon the entire house was a fireball, and I heard the laughter turn to muted screams. In seconds the cabin was ash upon the forest floor, and all was silent.
I woke with a start, my heart pounding like a frantic drum in my chest. I felt beside me to feel if Catherine was still with me, and to my relief she still was. In minutes I calmed down enough to finally fall into an uneasy rest. Morning could not have come sooner.
But after an eternity, it did. The sun rose and banished away all darkness, golden-yellow rays pouring into windows to wake the people and let them start the day, hopefully with a good night's sleep behind them. Such was the way with Catherine and I. Quietly we walked down the stairs, rubbing our eyes and yawning. Breakfast for both of us was jasmine green tea, toast with Nutella and ground cinnamon and sliced green apples.
Outside, Lunagirl was meowing loudly for her food and attention, yet there was also something mournful in her voice. Catherine said to me, "Let me go play with her while you get her breakfast."
She opened the back door, shuddered at the sudden coldness and knelt down to pet Lunagirl. I was calmly opening a can of her preferred foodstuff when Catherine let out a ragged, low scream. I flew to the door, shouting, "What's wrong?! What's wrong?!"
Catherine wordlessly pointed to my cat, a look of terror in her eyes. I held my little black companion in my arms and my jaw dropped in shock.
Lunagirl's back neck was almost covered in ticks. Pale, engorged things that greedily sucked at her lifeblood. Horrified, yet intrepid, I began to pluck each of them off. It was no easy task, as they had embedded themselves in her skin so deeply that it seemed they were now a part of her. All the time my beloved feline was sitting still so I could work. In the end I counted a total of eighteen ticks, every last one of them so big that they could barely move. Catherine smashed them all with the one of my father's heavy shoes.
At one-thirty I accompanied Catherine to her appointment with Dr. Frey, sitting in the waiting room and fiddling with my phone the entire time. The session took a little longer this time, not that I minded. If Catherine needed more time to get it off her chest, then it can take as long as she wants it to. I forgot to mention this back a while, but she was laid off from her job due to her missing shifts and erratic behavior. It didn't seem to hit her too hard, but it wasn't making things easier.
At almost three o' clock Dr. Frey invited me to join Catherine in his office. I walked in, sat down in a chair next to hers, and held Catherine's outstretched hand.
Dr. Frey cleared his throat and spoke, "Catherine has told me all about her little black out that happened. They are very scary, and since she does not illegal substances nor has any brain damage, it makes them even more puzzling. You two staying together through all of this shows how strong you are, and how much love you have for one another." he paused and I squeezed Catherine's hand. "I do want to put both of your worries to rest and tell you that your phones were most likely malfunctioning. It sometimes happens to Justine's phone, even. Don't over-analyze it it mean more than it does; it causes headaches." He chuckled at his own joke.
"Now, Elizabeth," he continued, folding his hands neatly on his desk. "Is there anything you want to get out there for discussion? Any fears, thoughts...nothing is off limits."
I breathed in deeply, then exhaled. I turned to Catherine and said, "I love you, and nothing can keep me from doing that. Not even this wicked thing that seems to like you a whole lot." She didn't laugh, but a smile formed on her lips. "And you're not suffering though this alone, okay?"
"I know."
"I mean, I had a really crazy dream last night even--"
The smile faded quickly, replaced with anxiety. "What?"
"Yeah...it was freaky. Surreal."
The doctor said, "Do you want to share it with us, Elizabeth?"
I decided, 'why not? It's just a dream' and told them. "It was just...creepy. I dreamed about a cottage in the woods that must have belonged to a family. Then it caught fire and burned to the ground, most likely killing everyone. I woke up scared silly."
The doctor nodded his head, a look of puzzlement on his face. "Hm. Odd. But dreams are often like that. Personally it may have just been a simple nightmare, but one would think that there is a deeper meaning. Catherine? What do you think?"
Catherine's eyes grew wide as saucers, her breathing becoming deeper and deeper. "I know that something serious needs to be done."
She got up out of her chair, dragging me along with her. Before leaving the room, she turned and nodded, "Thank you, doctor. I believe I know what I have to do now." Catherine's grip on my wrist grew stronger as she pulled me to the car. I gently pried her fingers off of my small wrist and nearly croaked, "Cathie! Wha-what is going on?!"
It was a question that has long since worn out its welcome. I wondered about her strange behavior and seemed to get an answer that this evil thing wanted her for some bizzare reason. I wanted it gone so that she would stop worrying and being on edge. I wanted it gone for both of our sakes.
She opened the passenger door and looked at me pleadingly, "I have to think about this. Let's go home."
So we did, the whole ride spent in pure silence. Catherine was looking out the window, seemingly mulling over what she and the doctor had talked about and my dream. I wanted to make small talk, but each time a sentence formed in my mind it died in my throat. Sometimes words were not nescessary.
When we arrived home she quietly opened her door, walked around to me and opened mine. "Thanks, love," I murmured. Together we walked to and through the unlocked front door, where Catherine still wore the expression of a person debating what in the name of God to do with their life. I said in the cheeriest voice I could muster, "You want a snack? I think we still have those apple slices left."
I recieved a "Mm-hm." in response. I gave her the the slices of fruit and she chewed them slowly, listlessly. I looked around me for any and all spiders or insects, and should one appear I would be the first to swat it out of the room. "You alright?" I whispered.
"Kind of. I'm just really upset that you dreamed about that. It's not good."
"Why?"
She swallowed heavily, "Because. It might want you, too."
My eyebrows rose, "Me?"
She nodded.
I didn't say anything; I was left completely speechless by this new turn of events. A little bit of fear started to creep inside of me. Were dreams the first sign of things to come? No. No. I won't let this thing have me. I can't let it consume me. Without thinking I said, "Yesterday I woke up with a spider on my face. I don't want to freak you out, but I don't want to keep anything from you. I wacked it off my face and I didn't see it after that." I half expected her to flip the table, but instead sheburied her face in my shoulder. Catherine didn't cry, only let out sad little sighs.
Almost foolishly, I said, "Nothing bad will happen to me, Catherine. We're going to get through this."
She looked up at me with a smile drained of all warmth and said, "I can only hope we will."
Now, I don't like hurting bugs, I don't. But this black thing spooked me so bad that I nearly let out a yell. I slapped it off of my face and onto surfaces unknown, for I never saw it after that. After I calmed myself down enough, I went to the bathroom to check for any bites. I found none whatsoever, which was most certainly a good thing. Looking outside I saw that the sun was slowly starting to rise, and since our classes were at eight-thirty, I debated even going back to bed; didn't want to get too comfortable again. Might as well make some tea and get ready.
But then I thought about Catherine and that spider. The one on my face wasn't identical to the one we saw yesterday, and I honestly didn't feel comfortable with any arachnid (big or small) near her. It was the desire to protect Catherine, even from harmless little things, that made me go back into my room and curl up next to her. To hell with everything else.
The day passed on comfortably: we carpooled to school, met up with our girls, managed to eat lunch together before scattering to our respective destinations. The classes went smoothly, our phones managed to not glitch up royally (thank God), and we even ate out for dinner that night. I did see Catherine sometimes looking behind her and over my shoulder, but aside from that nothing went awry.
We returned on time, no later that ten, and completely exhausted we went to bed. As we lay there, not asleep yet not awake, Catherine gently nudged my shoulder.
"Hmm? You alright?" I said to her.
She nodded, "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still here."
It was a simple little sentence, but it meant so much to me. I kissed her forehead, and we slowly descended into blissful rest. That night I dreamed of a small, cozy cabin in the middle of a dense forest; the kind of home or vacation spot many would kill for. Inside were plenty of furnishings to go around, comfortable couches and beds, a full pantry and the sound of laughter from an invisible family. It was beautiful, soothing.
And then, in the blink of an eye, the cabin caught fire. I don't know where it started, but the flames crept up the walls and along the floors like a stalker in the night. Soon the entire house was a fireball, and I heard the laughter turn to muted screams. In seconds the cabin was ash upon the forest floor, and all was silent.
I woke with a start, my heart pounding like a frantic drum in my chest. I felt beside me to feel if Catherine was still with me, and to my relief she still was. In minutes I calmed down enough to finally fall into an uneasy rest. Morning could not have come sooner.
But after an eternity, it did. The sun rose and banished away all darkness, golden-yellow rays pouring into windows to wake the people and let them start the day, hopefully with a good night's sleep behind them. Such was the way with Catherine and I. Quietly we walked down the stairs, rubbing our eyes and yawning. Breakfast for both of us was jasmine green tea, toast with Nutella and ground cinnamon and sliced green apples.
Outside, Lunagirl was meowing loudly for her food and attention, yet there was also something mournful in her voice. Catherine said to me, "Let me go play with her while you get her breakfast."
She opened the back door, shuddered at the sudden coldness and knelt down to pet Lunagirl. I was calmly opening a can of her preferred foodstuff when Catherine let out a ragged, low scream. I flew to the door, shouting, "What's wrong?! What's wrong?!"
Catherine wordlessly pointed to my cat, a look of terror in her eyes. I held my little black companion in my arms and my jaw dropped in shock.
Lunagirl's back neck was almost covered in ticks. Pale, engorged things that greedily sucked at her lifeblood. Horrified, yet intrepid, I began to pluck each of them off. It was no easy task, as they had embedded themselves in her skin so deeply that it seemed they were now a part of her. All the time my beloved feline was sitting still so I could work. In the end I counted a total of eighteen ticks, every last one of them so big that they could barely move. Catherine smashed them all with the one of my father's heavy shoes.
At one-thirty I accompanied Catherine to her appointment with Dr. Frey, sitting in the waiting room and fiddling with my phone the entire time. The session took a little longer this time, not that I minded. If Catherine needed more time to get it off her chest, then it can take as long as she wants it to. I forgot to mention this back a while, but she was laid off from her job due to her missing shifts and erratic behavior. It didn't seem to hit her too hard, but it wasn't making things easier.
At almost three o' clock Dr. Frey invited me to join Catherine in his office. I walked in, sat down in a chair next to hers, and held Catherine's outstretched hand.
Dr. Frey cleared his throat and spoke, "Catherine has told me all about her little black out that happened. They are very scary, and since she does not illegal substances nor has any brain damage, it makes them even more puzzling. You two staying together through all of this shows how strong you are, and how much love you have for one another." he paused and I squeezed Catherine's hand. "I do want to put both of your worries to rest and tell you that your phones were most likely malfunctioning. It sometimes happens to Justine's phone, even. Don't over-analyze it it mean more than it does; it causes headaches." He chuckled at his own joke.
"Now, Elizabeth," he continued, folding his hands neatly on his desk. "Is there anything you want to get out there for discussion? Any fears, thoughts...nothing is off limits."
I breathed in deeply, then exhaled. I turned to Catherine and said, "I love you, and nothing can keep me from doing that. Not even this wicked thing that seems to like you a whole lot." She didn't laugh, but a smile formed on her lips. "And you're not suffering though this alone, okay?"
"I know."
"I mean, I had a really crazy dream last night even--"
The smile faded quickly, replaced with anxiety. "What?"
"Yeah...it was freaky. Surreal."
The doctor said, "Do you want to share it with us, Elizabeth?"
I decided, 'why not? It's just a dream' and told them. "It was just...creepy. I dreamed about a cottage in the woods that must have belonged to a family. Then it caught fire and burned to the ground, most likely killing everyone. I woke up scared silly."
The doctor nodded his head, a look of puzzlement on his face. "Hm. Odd. But dreams are often like that. Personally it may have just been a simple nightmare, but one would think that there is a deeper meaning. Catherine? What do you think?"
Catherine's eyes grew wide as saucers, her breathing becoming deeper and deeper. "I know that something serious needs to be done."
She got up out of her chair, dragging me along with her. Before leaving the room, she turned and nodded, "Thank you, doctor. I believe I know what I have to do now." Catherine's grip on my wrist grew stronger as she pulled me to the car. I gently pried her fingers off of my small wrist and nearly croaked, "Cathie! Wha-what is going on?!"
It was a question that has long since worn out its welcome. I wondered about her strange behavior and seemed to get an answer that this evil thing wanted her for some bizzare reason. I wanted it gone so that she would stop worrying and being on edge. I wanted it gone for both of our sakes.
She opened the passenger door and looked at me pleadingly, "I have to think about this. Let's go home."
So we did, the whole ride spent in pure silence. Catherine was looking out the window, seemingly mulling over what she and the doctor had talked about and my dream. I wanted to make small talk, but each time a sentence formed in my mind it died in my throat. Sometimes words were not nescessary.
When we arrived home she quietly opened her door, walked around to me and opened mine. "Thanks, love," I murmured. Together we walked to and through the unlocked front door, where Catherine still wore the expression of a person debating what in the name of God to do with their life. I said in the cheeriest voice I could muster, "You want a snack? I think we still have those apple slices left."
I recieved a "Mm-hm." in response. I gave her the the slices of fruit and she chewed them slowly, listlessly. I looked around me for any and all spiders or insects, and should one appear I would be the first to swat it out of the room. "You alright?" I whispered.
"Kind of. I'm just really upset that you dreamed about that. It's not good."
"Why?"
She swallowed heavily, "Because. It might want you, too."
My eyebrows rose, "Me?"
She nodded.
I didn't say anything; I was left completely speechless by this new turn of events. A little bit of fear started to creep inside of me. Were dreams the first sign of things to come? No. No. I won't let this thing have me. I can't let it consume me. Without thinking I said, "Yesterday I woke up with a spider on my face. I don't want to freak you out, but I don't want to keep anything from you. I wacked it off my face and I didn't see it after that." I half expected her to flip the table, but instead sheburied her face in my shoulder. Catherine didn't cry, only let out sad little sighs.
Almost foolishly, I said, "Nothing bad will happen to me, Catherine. We're going to get through this."
She looked up at me with a smile drained of all warmth and said, "I can only hope we will."
Thursday, December 20, 2012
End of the World
So if the Mayan Prophecy is correct (it isn't), the world should be ending pretty soon. I'm not expecting anything, really. If anything I'm expecting a lot of unfortunate suicides and unplanned pregnancies, alongside a ton of disappointed people. The world is beautiful and worth fighting for, even with all the cruel things that are in it. The way I see it, you can acknowledge that there are bad things in the world but focus on the good, or you can acknowledge that there are good things in the world but focus on the bad. I choose the former.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Day After
My heart skipped half a dozen beats when I read it. Instantly I unlocked the door and waited anxiously for her arrival. It only took four and a quarter minutes for Catherine to get there. When I heard the knock and the sound of the door opening, I flew from my seat at the table and nearly barreled her over with the force of my hug.
"How are you feeling? What happened after you left? Are you alright? Did that guy hurt you?" My questions were coming out of my mouth faster than I could process. She regained her balance quickly and responded in a gentle tone, "How about you get me a tall glass of water and I'll explain. I'm so parched."
I went back to the kitchen and gave her said glass of water, placing it on the table where she had just sat. In mere seconds the entire glass was downed, leaving nothing but small droplets at the bottom. Catherine didn't look like she had been tussled by shrubbery or beaten by ill-mannered folk. Her nose was clean of any blood, thank God, and her clothes were without any stains. However tempted I was, I didn't immediately think that all was well and good unless she told me it was.
Sitting down next to her, I said, "I tried calling you after you left, just to make sure you were okay. But you didn't pick up so I assumed that you turned your phone off."
Catherine brow furrowed, getting this 'not again!' look on her face, "What time?"
"I think barely five minutes."
"Yeah, my phone was on."
Damn. I hoped that this wasn't going to become a habit, "What do you think is going on with our phones? They're both top of the line and they have never done this before. Maybe it's bad service or something."
Catherine said, "I don't think it's anything we can help...but let me explain: I went to Dr. Frey's office to see what he thought, but it was closed. Then I went to the school's library to read up on it, but lo and behold those books were gone. After that..." she paused, looked away and chewed her lip. "...I went home. And I guessed I slept, because I can't--"
She stopped herself, as if she never intended on telling me that much. "Nevermind."
"You can't do what, Catherine?" What was she going to tell me?
"I went home and slept." she replied, but I wasn't blind or deaf; I could plainly see that she wasn't telling the whole truth. She had never lied to me before about anything. I wasn't angered, oh no. I was scared. This was so out of character for her. "No, really." I said, "You can tell me what really happened. You know I won't judge."
Catherine looked torn between telling me the truth and fibbing again. "I...don't know how to say it."
"I only remember driving home, and then waking up in my bed." She buried her head in her hands as she tried to recall the day before, "...I left at 2 pm, came back 2:44, and I was on the road at 2:54...and that's it. All I can remember after is opening my eyes in my room and seeing that it was almost noon. I thought about you and I decided to drive over."
The boughts of memory loss were happening again. What happened in those hours that she couldn't seem to remember? It wasn't a whole week like before, but it could soon escalate to that. I couldn't look at this through a logical, scientific way anymore. Something was after Catherine, something that I doubted we could explain. But what was it? Demon? Monster? Spirit? Something else entirely? And what did it want?
I didn't know the answer to any of them.
Suddenly Catherine's attention turned to the floor, staring intently at a big spider that loitered around the feet of her chair. She almost tripped over herself trying to stomp the creature out of existence, but the eight-legged one proved too fast for her; it climbed up the wall and disappeared into a crevice.
I said, "Catherine, it's just an ordinary spider."
"No, it isn't. Not even close. It's a messenger."
Rebecca would have deemed her overly-dramatic, Naomi a bit touched, Florence downright insane and Vivian in dire need of a nap. But all this did was seal the deal that I wouldn't let her out of my sight until this Fear Dubh lost interest or it went away forever. Hopefully it would happen soon.
I tugged on her hand, "Come on, Catherine. Let's get some lunch. The spider will most likely be gone."
She didn't protest the idea. I got her out of my house and into my car, where I drove us to a nice diner. We didn't say much to one another during our meals, though.. It wasn't out of budding contempt, far from it; it was the king of silence where no words were spoken but things were being said. Catherine held my hand almost the entire time.
Florence's words (Maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do) still rang in my head. Wasn't I already letting her fight this herself? Should I be there for her more, or less? I couldn't think straight. All I wanted is to keep my Cathie safe from anything and everything that threatened her. And I knew in my heart that she would do the same.
We wrapped up our leftovers and I drove back to my house. My parents welcomed us back, as did my brother, and I told them that Catherine would most likely stay with us for a while. "Just for a few days at most," Catherine added. "I won't take up all your time."
A call was made to the Moores and they approved of the arrangement. I went with Catherine to her house to pick up some extra clothes and some toiletries, double and triple checking that she had eveything she needed. Nothing like finding out mid-shower you left something you had to have back at home.
Luckily for us, the checklist filled up and away we went back to my house for dinner. Mom had made her famous Korean steak recipe; Catherine and I nearly ate five whole helpings. It was more than enough to fill us up and want to skip out on dessert. Both of our classes started early the next day, so we decided that it would be for the best if we both headed to bed.
Catherine slept with me, as she usually did during sleep overs, and we both drifted off in no time.
It was the calm between devistating storms.
"How are you feeling? What happened after you left? Are you alright? Did that guy hurt you?" My questions were coming out of my mouth faster than I could process. She regained her balance quickly and responded in a gentle tone, "How about you get me a tall glass of water and I'll explain. I'm so parched."
I went back to the kitchen and gave her said glass of water, placing it on the table where she had just sat. In mere seconds the entire glass was downed, leaving nothing but small droplets at the bottom. Catherine didn't look like she had been tussled by shrubbery or beaten by ill-mannered folk. Her nose was clean of any blood, thank God, and her clothes were without any stains. However tempted I was, I didn't immediately think that all was well and good unless she told me it was.
Sitting down next to her, I said, "I tried calling you after you left, just to make sure you were okay. But you didn't pick up so I assumed that you turned your phone off."
Catherine brow furrowed, getting this 'not again!' look on her face, "What time?"
"I think barely five minutes."
"Yeah, my phone was on."
Damn. I hoped that this wasn't going to become a habit, "What do you think is going on with our phones? They're both top of the line and they have never done this before. Maybe it's bad service or something."
Catherine said, "I don't think it's anything we can help...but let me explain: I went to Dr. Frey's office to see what he thought, but it was closed. Then I went to the school's library to read up on it, but lo and behold those books were gone. After that..." she paused, looked away and chewed her lip. "...I went home. And I guessed I slept, because I can't--"
She stopped herself, as if she never intended on telling me that much. "Nevermind."
"You can't do what, Catherine?" What was she going to tell me?
"I went home and slept." she replied, but I wasn't blind or deaf; I could plainly see that she wasn't telling the whole truth. She had never lied to me before about anything. I wasn't angered, oh no. I was scared. This was so out of character for her. "No, really." I said, "You can tell me what really happened. You know I won't judge."
Catherine looked torn between telling me the truth and fibbing again. "I...don't know how to say it."
"I only remember driving home, and then waking up in my bed." She buried her head in her hands as she tried to recall the day before, "...I left at 2 pm, came back 2:44, and I was on the road at 2:54...and that's it. All I can remember after is opening my eyes in my room and seeing that it was almost noon. I thought about you and I decided to drive over."
The boughts of memory loss were happening again. What happened in those hours that she couldn't seem to remember? It wasn't a whole week like before, but it could soon escalate to that. I couldn't look at this through a logical, scientific way anymore. Something was after Catherine, something that I doubted we could explain. But what was it? Demon? Monster? Spirit? Something else entirely? And what did it want?
I didn't know the answer to any of them.
Suddenly Catherine's attention turned to the floor, staring intently at a big spider that loitered around the feet of her chair. She almost tripped over herself trying to stomp the creature out of existence, but the eight-legged one proved too fast for her; it climbed up the wall and disappeared into a crevice.
I said, "Catherine, it's just an ordinary spider."
"No, it isn't. Not even close. It's a messenger."
Rebecca would have deemed her overly-dramatic, Naomi a bit touched, Florence downright insane and Vivian in dire need of a nap. But all this did was seal the deal that I wouldn't let her out of my sight until this Fear Dubh lost interest or it went away forever. Hopefully it would happen soon.
I tugged on her hand, "Come on, Catherine. Let's get some lunch. The spider will most likely be gone."
She didn't protest the idea. I got her out of my house and into my car, where I drove us to a nice diner. We didn't say much to one another during our meals, though.. It wasn't out of budding contempt, far from it; it was the king of silence where no words were spoken but things were being said. Catherine held my hand almost the entire time.
Florence's words (Maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do) still rang in my head. Wasn't I already letting her fight this herself? Should I be there for her more, or less? I couldn't think straight. All I wanted is to keep my Cathie safe from anything and everything that threatened her. And I knew in my heart that she would do the same.
We wrapped up our leftovers and I drove back to my house. My parents welcomed us back, as did my brother, and I told them that Catherine would most likely stay with us for a while. "Just for a few days at most," Catherine added. "I won't take up all your time."
A call was made to the Moores and they approved of the arrangement. I went with Catherine to her house to pick up some extra clothes and some toiletries, double and triple checking that she had eveything she needed. Nothing like finding out mid-shower you left something you had to have back at home.
Luckily for us, the checklist filled up and away we went back to my house for dinner. Mom had made her famous Korean steak recipe; Catherine and I nearly ate five whole helpings. It was more than enough to fill us up and want to skip out on dessert. Both of our classes started early the next day, so we decided that it would be for the best if we both headed to bed.
Catherine slept with me, as she usually did during sleep overs, and we both drifted off in no time.
It was the calm between devistating storms.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
The Downward Spiral part 3
I tried to text her again to find that, strangely, I couldn't. My phone would lock up and then restart. Whatever this glitch was, it seemed to be hell-bent on making sure that I couldn't call or message. I shut my cell down and then went to sleep. How I even managed to was a mystery to me. My thoughts were filled with my fiance and worried that something bad might have happend or will happen soon.
Morning couldn't have come faster for me. I didn't touch breakfast and the drive over was more like a haze than anything else. Anthropology class, usually fun and exciting for me, seemed to go on forever and a day. The second it ended I bolted out the door and browsed the cafeteria for her. In a corner table, I found Catherine absent-mindedly eating a sandwich. She looked resigned, a bit sad even. I tapped her on the shoulder and she whipped around. She stood up and nearly knocked me over with the strength of her hug.
"Elizabeth, why didn't you answer my texts? I even called you almost forty times." she looked just a tad angry with me, but I could see that she was far more relieved than anything else.
"I could ask you the same thing. I texted you, too. And when did you call me? I never got a voicemail or anything." I pulled out my phone and showed her. Then again, I didn't need to. Catherine would have believed me anyway. She looked at my phone then casually slammed it on the table. "You okay...?" It was a stupid question; no, everything wasn't okay.
"This shit is ending, Elizabeth. It's ending for real this time. I won't let anything happen to you or our friends, or anyone else. I swear to God." She pushed what remained of the sandwich away, picking up her backpack and walking towards and out of the cafeteria door. I followed her outside saying, "Wait, are we in danger?"
Catherine muttered under her breath, "Not if I can help it."
"Weren't you going to tell me more about this thing? If you're planning anything you better count the rest of us in it. I'm not letting you do it alone."
She slowed down enough for me to reach out and grab her gently, forcing her to turn around. I never saw Catherine look so sad in all my life. "Please. Please. I love you too much to see you be this way. There is strength in numbers. All six of us can do something."
"Ellie, let me do this. I know more, and I've seen more. Trust me."
Trust. I had been trusting Catherine my entire life, and never had she let me down. So why was I hesitating this time? Did I trust her? Yes, I did. But I was afraid for her. I pulled her into a hug, not saying anything. I couldn't think of any words that could fit the situation at the time. She whispered, "I won't let this thing go near you. I won't."
Catherine untangled herself from the hug and kissed my forehead. "I'll be right back."
"No. Let me come with you."
"I can't. But in case something happens, just repeat, 'here comes the sun' over and over again. It always works." She sounded like someone going on the mission of a lifetime, not even remotely overdramatic, but very solemn. "Stay safe, I'll be right back. I'll go to your house when I'm done."
I should have followed. I should have grabbed her arm and refused to let go. But I didn't. Why? Why?
I walked back into the cafeteria, completely forgetting that I had abandoned my backpack. Not like I even cared at that point. Immediately I called Catherine's number. Nothing. Not even voicemail. What the hell? Alright. I called Florence, who picked up after three rings. "Yo, I'm working out, girlie. What's up?"
Okay, that worked. "I'm worried about Catherine."
"What's wrong?"
"She is acting strange again. I think that she might have seen that thing again, or it's looking for her."
"No way. Where is she now?"
"...well, she left for her car."
"Okay, stop talking to me and follow her!"
"I don't know why I didn't. Catherine said she didn't want it near me."
"Mother of God, El. Call her now! Call her and ask her what the hell is going on."
"I did. Nothing happened. The call didn't go though."
She sighed loudly. "How? You have the best phone ever. Hers isn't too bad either. I think she might have shut it off. Honestly, and this is just me, maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do." A pause; Florence chugged her water bottle. "Just saying."
Rebecca was the one to tell me that there might have been something less than mystical at work. Florence was now telling me that perhaps this was her fight. And maybe, just maybe, Florence was right. Maybe.
"You going to be okay, El?" she said.
"I hope so."
"Stay strong, okay? I know it's hard, but you can do it."
"Thanks, Flo. Talk to you later."
"See ya."
I hung up the phone, walked to my car, and drove home. I told my mother what happened and pretty much bawled my eyes out. I was so worried, and I berated myself for not following her when I could. Thank God for my mom being there when she could. Mothers are the best, they really are.
A day later, after me worrying my head off, I got a text from Catherine: I'll be there in five minutes.
Morning couldn't have come faster for me. I didn't touch breakfast and the drive over was more like a haze than anything else. Anthropology class, usually fun and exciting for me, seemed to go on forever and a day. The second it ended I bolted out the door and browsed the cafeteria for her. In a corner table, I found Catherine absent-mindedly eating a sandwich. She looked resigned, a bit sad even. I tapped her on the shoulder and she whipped around. She stood up and nearly knocked me over with the strength of her hug.
"Elizabeth, why didn't you answer my texts? I even called you almost forty times." she looked just a tad angry with me, but I could see that she was far more relieved than anything else.
"I could ask you the same thing. I texted you, too. And when did you call me? I never got a voicemail or anything." I pulled out my phone and showed her. Then again, I didn't need to. Catherine would have believed me anyway. She looked at my phone then casually slammed it on the table. "You okay...?" It was a stupid question; no, everything wasn't okay.
"This shit is ending, Elizabeth. It's ending for real this time. I won't let anything happen to you or our friends, or anyone else. I swear to God." She pushed what remained of the sandwich away, picking up her backpack and walking towards and out of the cafeteria door. I followed her outside saying, "Wait, are we in danger?"
Catherine muttered under her breath, "Not if I can help it."
"Weren't you going to tell me more about this thing? If you're planning anything you better count the rest of us in it. I'm not letting you do it alone."
She slowed down enough for me to reach out and grab her gently, forcing her to turn around. I never saw Catherine look so sad in all my life. "Please. Please. I love you too much to see you be this way. There is strength in numbers. All six of us can do something."
"Ellie, let me do this. I know more, and I've seen more. Trust me."
Trust. I had been trusting Catherine my entire life, and never had she let me down. So why was I hesitating this time? Did I trust her? Yes, I did. But I was afraid for her. I pulled her into a hug, not saying anything. I couldn't think of any words that could fit the situation at the time. She whispered, "I won't let this thing go near you. I won't."
Catherine untangled herself from the hug and kissed my forehead. "I'll be right back."
"No. Let me come with you."
"I can't. But in case something happens, just repeat, 'here comes the sun' over and over again. It always works." She sounded like someone going on the mission of a lifetime, not even remotely overdramatic, but very solemn. "Stay safe, I'll be right back. I'll go to your house when I'm done."
I should have followed. I should have grabbed her arm and refused to let go. But I didn't. Why? Why?
I walked back into the cafeteria, completely forgetting that I had abandoned my backpack. Not like I even cared at that point. Immediately I called Catherine's number. Nothing. Not even voicemail. What the hell? Alright. I called Florence, who picked up after three rings. "Yo, I'm working out, girlie. What's up?"
Okay, that worked. "I'm worried about Catherine."
"What's wrong?"
"She is acting strange again. I think that she might have seen that thing again, or it's looking for her."
"No way. Where is she now?"
"...well, she left for her car."
"Okay, stop talking to me and follow her!"
"I don't know why I didn't. Catherine said she didn't want it near me."
"Mother of God, El. Call her now! Call her and ask her what the hell is going on."
"I did. Nothing happened. The call didn't go though."
She sighed loudly. "How? You have the best phone ever. Hers isn't too bad either. I think she might have shut it off. Honestly, and this is just me, maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do." A pause; Florence chugged her water bottle. "Just saying."
Rebecca was the one to tell me that there might have been something less than mystical at work. Florence was now telling me that perhaps this was her fight. And maybe, just maybe, Florence was right. Maybe.
"You going to be okay, El?" she said.
"I hope so."
"Stay strong, okay? I know it's hard, but you can do it."
"Thanks, Flo. Talk to you later."
"See ya."
I hung up the phone, walked to my car, and drove home. I told my mother what happened and pretty much bawled my eyes out. I was so worried, and I berated myself for not following her when I could. Thank God for my mom being there when she could. Mothers are the best, they really are.
A day later, after me worrying my head off, I got a text from Catherine: I'll be there in five minutes.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
The Downward Spiral part 2
We met at the cafe at 1 pm without any alarming incidents. A nice waitress sat us down at a table near the window, to which Catherine politely asked that we be moved farther back. She told me that the sun was too bright for her. I had no problems with this, but I was wondering what she was thinking about.
I drank a pumpkin chai latte, both palms on the forest green mug, and she a tall glass of caramel flavored milk. Our conversation for the most part was unremarkable, talking about school, friends, family, cracking jokes at the terrible parking lots out college had.
The fruit and nut salad I ate there was perfect beyond all perfection, if that is even possible. I offered Cathie a forkful, but she declined, so invested in her grilled cheese and tomato soup was she. It was only after we had paid the check and started to walk around the busy sidewalks that the conversation started to get strange.
I asked, "Did you sleep alright? No crazy dreams this time around?"
"No, thank God. I had a good night's rest."
"No creepy guys staring at you while you sleep?"
"Nope. Didn't see that guy."
"Still writing in the diary?"
"Yep."
It was starting to be pretty obvious that she was getting uncomfortable. So moistening my lips, I said, "I am so happy that you're feeling better, though. I'm glad you aren't coughing as much as you used to, and that you're doing well in your classes. No matter what, I'm here for you."
Catherine smiled, "I know that, Elizabeth. I just don't like talking about this thing. Just thinking about it creeps me out."
And for a while, the subject was dropped. We went into a candy store and bought an large assortment of sweets to nibble on. By the time we had our fill of the downtown, the sun had started to set. Catherine's body language betrayed a bit of nervousness at the coming darkness, so I had decided that it would be for the best to call it a day and head home.
Walking back to the lot in which our cars patiently waited, I said, "I think I saw that thing you were talking about the night we had our dinner. It was just standing there outside my house all creepy like, not really doing anything."
Here Catherine stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide. It was if I told her that I was dying of some incurable malady and had nine months left to live. "Are you serious, Elizabeth? You saw that?"
Yeah, I did." I said quietly. "I haven't seen it since, and it was probably a trick of the light, anyway."
"It wasn't." Catherine's voice was so steely and cold. I never heard her sound like that in all the years I have known her, and to be honest, it scared me a bit. "It wasn't at all."
"Then...?" I started to say. She grabbed my hand and began to drag me to my car, looking over her shoulder and around us in a frantic, paranoid manner. It was as if she believed the entire street had ears and eyes and would turn on us at any moment.
Catherine opened the car door for me and pushed me in, looking to her left and then her right. "Listen to me Elizabeth: go now, and don't stop for anyone. At any chance you get, you have to text me. At each stoplight, at each stop sign, until you get to you house. And then you have to call me. Hopefully then we can talk about it."
She hugged me tightly, kissed me as if she didn't want to ever stop, then walked quickly away to her own car. I watched her until I felt the urge to get out of the lot, at which point a strange loneliness swept over me. I drove back in silence, not even touching the radio. I texted her at each stoplight and stop sign, telling her that I'm still fine, that I am worrying again, and that I will call her when I was at home.
I did not receive any texts back the entire time. I kept sending them, praying that Catherine would reply. I couldn't have gotten home fast enough; the second I walked through the door I whipped out my phone and dialed her number.
It went straight to voicemail. My heart skipped a few beats, and the voice that said things were getting bad again got louder. No texts, no calls. Was she truly okay?
Hours later, I finally received all eighteen of her messages. What puzzled me was that they were all sent at the same time I was sending her texts. They stopped at the time I got home. My phone must have glitched or something, but it had never done that before.
I drank a pumpkin chai latte, both palms on the forest green mug, and she a tall glass of caramel flavored milk. Our conversation for the most part was unremarkable, talking about school, friends, family, cracking jokes at the terrible parking lots out college had.
The fruit and nut salad I ate there was perfect beyond all perfection, if that is even possible. I offered Cathie a forkful, but she declined, so invested in her grilled cheese and tomato soup was she. It was only after we had paid the check and started to walk around the busy sidewalks that the conversation started to get strange.
I asked, "Did you sleep alright? No crazy dreams this time around?"
"No, thank God. I had a good night's rest."
"No creepy guys staring at you while you sleep?"
"Nope. Didn't see that guy."
"Still writing in the diary?"
"Yep."
It was starting to be pretty obvious that she was getting uncomfortable. So moistening my lips, I said, "I am so happy that you're feeling better, though. I'm glad you aren't coughing as much as you used to, and that you're doing well in your classes. No matter what, I'm here for you."
Catherine smiled, "I know that, Elizabeth. I just don't like talking about this thing. Just thinking about it creeps me out."
And for a while, the subject was dropped. We went into a candy store and bought an large assortment of sweets to nibble on. By the time we had our fill of the downtown, the sun had started to set. Catherine's body language betrayed a bit of nervousness at the coming darkness, so I had decided that it would be for the best to call it a day and head home.
Walking back to the lot in which our cars patiently waited, I said, "I think I saw that thing you were talking about the night we had our dinner. It was just standing there outside my house all creepy like, not really doing anything."
Here Catherine stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide. It was if I told her that I was dying of some incurable malady and had nine months left to live. "Are you serious, Elizabeth? You saw that?"
Yeah, I did." I said quietly. "I haven't seen it since, and it was probably a trick of the light, anyway."
"It wasn't." Catherine's voice was so steely and cold. I never heard her sound like that in all the years I have known her, and to be honest, it scared me a bit. "It wasn't at all."
"Then...?" I started to say. She grabbed my hand and began to drag me to my car, looking over her shoulder and around us in a frantic, paranoid manner. It was as if she believed the entire street had ears and eyes and would turn on us at any moment.
Catherine opened the car door for me and pushed me in, looking to her left and then her right. "Listen to me Elizabeth: go now, and don't stop for anyone. At any chance you get, you have to text me. At each stoplight, at each stop sign, until you get to you house. And then you have to call me. Hopefully then we can talk about it."
She hugged me tightly, kissed me as if she didn't want to ever stop, then walked quickly away to her own car. I watched her until I felt the urge to get out of the lot, at which point a strange loneliness swept over me. I drove back in silence, not even touching the radio. I texted her at each stoplight and stop sign, telling her that I'm still fine, that I am worrying again, and that I will call her when I was at home.
I did not receive any texts back the entire time. I kept sending them, praying that Catherine would reply. I couldn't have gotten home fast enough; the second I walked through the door I whipped out my phone and dialed her number.
It went straight to voicemail. My heart skipped a few beats, and the voice that said things were getting bad again got louder. No texts, no calls. Was she truly okay?
Hours later, I finally received all eighteen of her messages. What puzzled me was that they were all sent at the same time I was sending her texts. They stopped at the time I got home. My phone must have glitched or something, but it had never done that before.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sandy
Just wanted to make sure that anyone and everyone living on the East Coast is doing all right. I currently have power thanks to that generator, and my family and friends are safe. It's worse than Irene, no doubt about that, and from what I hear it might take even longer to get everything back up and running. My college is cancelled for the entire week due to the roads being a mess and the generators there breaking. I saw how Atlantic City and many places closer to the shore got completely totalled, and my prayers go out for those who live there.
The weirdest thing is that many images of the storm's aftermath in the more damanged areas look far too similar to what Catherine drew.
The weirdest thing is that many images of the storm's aftermath in the more damanged areas look far too similar to what Catherine drew.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Happy Birthday, Catherine
Today is Catherine's 22nd birthday. I thought that maybe she would be found by this time, but obviously that didn't happen. I am a broken record by this point, but I miss her and want her found. So bad.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The Downward Spiral part 1
This won't be easy to write. I made it this far, so I might as well.
A day after she had shown me the menu, I found Catherine sitting inside the library, pouring over a large, old book as far away from the wide windows as possible. In reaching distance there were two others waiting to be read, She looked more than just a little spooked, very unnerved at something. I immediately pulled out a chair and sat across from her.
"Hey, Catherine. Jeez, you look like hell. Are you alright?"
She bit her lower lip, thinking about her response. "I, ah...I had a really bad nightmare last night. Actually, a whole series of nightmares. One after another. All of them were horrific and so realistic. Then I had an insane bout of sleep paralysis that scared the living crap out of me. I couldn't sleep after that."
It explained her looking like a ghost, but I got nervous. "Do you remember them at all?"
"I kind of do. One had me walking on a forest path in the middle of the night. There were candles lighting the way, but they didn't help at all. If anything it made everything more creepy. Even worse, every step I took I knew that someone was following me. It was one of those dreams where you want to run and scream, but you can't. Another one was me just staring down a hallway in some sort of giant castle or palace. I could see large pictures on the walls that spanned the entire length down. I couldn't make out what they were of, though. But the whole time I was just so uncomfortable. Like I was seeing something forboding and wrong."
I nodded slowly, looking at the books that she had next to her. A voice in the back of my head screamed out 'it's starting again'. "What do you have there, Cathie?" I said, motioning at the other books.
She closed the book she was reading and showed me the title: Celtic Monsters and Myths. She slid over the other two books, which were about the hidden meanings of dreams.
I smiled and tried to make light of it, saying, "So...did you learn anything?"
The books were put off to the side and she continued, "Nothing you don't already know: the forest represents the unconscious, life, fertility, change in one's psyche. Candles mean illumination. And if you dream about a dark shape staring at you while you sleep, it means a dark shape is staring at you while you sleep."
We both chuckled at that little quip, but for me the mirth quickly died. "Wait. Something was staring at you? Like, an actual something in your room."
She let out a long sigh and nodded. "Yeah. I didn't really see it, per se...but I felt it.I knew it was there." Catherine checked her cell for the time. "I should head out now. I have an appointment with Dr. Frey. I'll tell him about all this and see what he has to say."
"Please do. You know how much I worry. Do you want me to walk you to your car, just in case?"
"Absolutely."
As we left for her car, she didn't seem to want to talk about anything. Even when I tried to strick up a conversation about dinner or the weather, she nodded silently and kept close by. We finally got to her car, and to my horror I heard her let out a wet cough. Not a good sign in the slightest. I tried to reason with it, telling myself that allergy season was kicking and she might be getting a cold. "Are you alright?"
She responded, "I'll get back to you on that."
My gut instinct told me that things were wrong...very wrong. I didn't want her to get into that car and drive off, lest something bad happen while I wasn't there. But my fears on that proved to be for nought: Catherine drove safely there and drove safely home. The second she was in her room the texted and then called me, saying that she felt bad for getting me worried, and that she told him everything. He was as surprise and shocked as we were, she said. He recommended that she steer away from any sort of over the counter medication, saying that most of the side effects for such drugs typically undermined the benefits, especially in her case. He wanted her to take teas, keeping with his preference for the natural.
"Say, you want to get something to eat tomorrow? That 'No Joe's About It' place is amazing." she said offhandedly.
And so plans were made for a delicious lunch and walk.
A day after she had shown me the menu, I found Catherine sitting inside the library, pouring over a large, old book as far away from the wide windows as possible. In reaching distance there were two others waiting to be read, She looked more than just a little spooked, very unnerved at something. I immediately pulled out a chair and sat across from her.
"Hey, Catherine. Jeez, you look like hell. Are you alright?"
She bit her lower lip, thinking about her response. "I, ah...I had a really bad nightmare last night. Actually, a whole series of nightmares. One after another. All of them were horrific and so realistic. Then I had an insane bout of sleep paralysis that scared the living crap out of me. I couldn't sleep after that."
It explained her looking like a ghost, but I got nervous. "Do you remember them at all?"
"I kind of do. One had me walking on a forest path in the middle of the night. There were candles lighting the way, but they didn't help at all. If anything it made everything more creepy. Even worse, every step I took I knew that someone was following me. It was one of those dreams where you want to run and scream, but you can't. Another one was me just staring down a hallway in some sort of giant castle or palace. I could see large pictures on the walls that spanned the entire length down. I couldn't make out what they were of, though. But the whole time I was just so uncomfortable. Like I was seeing something forboding and wrong."
I nodded slowly, looking at the books that she had next to her. A voice in the back of my head screamed out 'it's starting again'. "What do you have there, Cathie?" I said, motioning at the other books.
She closed the book she was reading and showed me the title: Celtic Monsters and Myths. She slid over the other two books, which were about the hidden meanings of dreams.
I smiled and tried to make light of it, saying, "So...did you learn anything?"
The books were put off to the side and she continued, "Nothing you don't already know: the forest represents the unconscious, life, fertility, change in one's psyche. Candles mean illumination. And if you dream about a dark shape staring at you while you sleep, it means a dark shape is staring at you while you sleep."
We both chuckled at that little quip, but for me the mirth quickly died. "Wait. Something was staring at you? Like, an actual something in your room."
She let out a long sigh and nodded. "Yeah. I didn't really see it, per se...but I felt it.I knew it was there." Catherine checked her cell for the time. "I should head out now. I have an appointment with Dr. Frey. I'll tell him about all this and see what he has to say."
"Please do. You know how much I worry. Do you want me to walk you to your car, just in case?"
"Absolutely."
As we left for her car, she didn't seem to want to talk about anything. Even when I tried to strick up a conversation about dinner or the weather, she nodded silently and kept close by. We finally got to her car, and to my horror I heard her let out a wet cough. Not a good sign in the slightest. I tried to reason with it, telling myself that allergy season was kicking and she might be getting a cold. "Are you alright?"
She responded, "I'll get back to you on that."
My gut instinct told me that things were wrong...very wrong. I didn't want her to get into that car and drive off, lest something bad happen while I wasn't there. But my fears on that proved to be for nought: Catherine drove safely there and drove safely home. The second she was in her room the texted and then called me, saying that she felt bad for getting me worried, and that she told him everything. He was as surprise and shocked as we were, she said. He recommended that she steer away from any sort of over the counter medication, saying that most of the side effects for such drugs typically undermined the benefits, especially in her case. He wanted her to take teas, keeping with his preference for the natural.
"Say, you want to get something to eat tomorrow? That 'No Joe's About It' place is amazing." she said offhandedly.
And so plans were made for a delicious lunch and walk.
Friday, October 5, 2012
One Year
One year ago today, Catherine disappeared from my life and hasn't been seen since. Goddamnit, she was getting better. What happened? I know that the police have done all they could in trying to track her down, but they can only do so much. I will elaborate more on how it went down, but right now I can't. I feel nauseous and depressed.
Please, Catherine. Come back to me.
Please, Catherine. Come back to me.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Lights
And then, finally, the lights came back on. I was outside, laying on the grass with Lunagirl snuggled close to me when I heard my father scream out "Yes!"
I rushed into the house and saw--much to my delight--all the lights in the house back on. I experimentally flicked a lamp on and off just to make sure it worked, and thankfully it did. My phone practically blew up with messages from my girls all praising the gods of electricity. It was so nice to finally put away the flashlights and candles and get back to light bulbs. Because of that week long incident my parents invested in a generator, so in the event a monster storm of any kind it, we would be safe. Three cheers for having power!
School started back up a few days later, my schedule consisting of computers, math and another anthropology class, continuing from last semester. Life was getting back to its usual routine: wake up, go to school, hang out, do homework, do chores, sleep. Repeat until winter break.
Catherine, God bless her, recieved a lot of extra help to assist her with passing her classes. She was getting better, academically and emotionally. Her cought started to go away, too. She didn't talk about the white tree we found, nor did she want to. Naomi mentioned how she wished that we took a picture so she could draw it or show her art teacher. Personally that tree gave me the creeps. I had never seen a tree quite like it, nor do I think I ever will again, and for that I am glad.
For our anniversary, we ate a wholesome dinner of chicken and sweet potatos by candle light at her house. It was very sweet and very romantic, and best of all, my Cathie was acting like herself again.
Some time during the middle of September, Catherine came over for a study session and a dinner. She went over her math and I read my anthropology textbook. It was an interesting chapter on the development of superstitions and folklore. She and I talked through the while, occasionally making observations about the other's subject. When the both of us had finished our work, we began to make preperations for dinner: for tonight, fettuccini alfredo.
Catherine insisted that I relax and allow her the honors, but after I insisted ad nauseum, she allowed me to cook the pasta as she made the sauce.
It was these quiet, peaceful moments that made the evening for us. No words were spoken, but none needed to be; we could understand each other perfectly without them. We set the table and ate slowly, enjoying the moment and each other.
"I feel that I can move past all that and focus on the future." she said. "My restaurant, our marriage. It's going to be great. Oh, I made a menu for the reception if you want to see later on."
"Sounds like a plan." I replied.
After we cleaned the plates she showed me a rough draft of her idea: shrimp scampi, swiss steak and jambalaya where some of the few dishes she wanted to have. The menu had an absolutely delicious range of flavors, all of which I couldn't wait to share with the rest of my family.
Eventually she had to return home. I walked Cathie to her car, we kissed goodbye, and I waved to her as she drove away.
Before I walked back inside, out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw someone in black under the streetlight.
I rushed into the house and saw--much to my delight--all the lights in the house back on. I experimentally flicked a lamp on and off just to make sure it worked, and thankfully it did. My phone practically blew up with messages from my girls all praising the gods of electricity. It was so nice to finally put away the flashlights and candles and get back to light bulbs. Because of that week long incident my parents invested in a generator, so in the event a monster storm of any kind it, we would be safe. Three cheers for having power!
School started back up a few days later, my schedule consisting of computers, math and another anthropology class, continuing from last semester. Life was getting back to its usual routine: wake up, go to school, hang out, do homework, do chores, sleep. Repeat until winter break.
Catherine, God bless her, recieved a lot of extra help to assist her with passing her classes. She was getting better, academically and emotionally. Her cought started to go away, too. She didn't talk about the white tree we found, nor did she want to. Naomi mentioned how she wished that we took a picture so she could draw it or show her art teacher. Personally that tree gave me the creeps. I had never seen a tree quite like it, nor do I think I ever will again, and for that I am glad.
For our anniversary, we ate a wholesome dinner of chicken and sweet potatos by candle light at her house. It was very sweet and very romantic, and best of all, my Cathie was acting like herself again.
Some time during the middle of September, Catherine came over for a study session and a dinner. She went over her math and I read my anthropology textbook. It was an interesting chapter on the development of superstitions and folklore. She and I talked through the while, occasionally making observations about the other's subject. When the both of us had finished our work, we began to make preperations for dinner: for tonight, fettuccini alfredo.
Catherine insisted that I relax and allow her the honors, but after I insisted ad nauseum, she allowed me to cook the pasta as she made the sauce.
It was these quiet, peaceful moments that made the evening for us. No words were spoken, but none needed to be; we could understand each other perfectly without them. We set the table and ate slowly, enjoying the moment and each other.
"I feel that I can move past all that and focus on the future." she said. "My restaurant, our marriage. It's going to be great. Oh, I made a menu for the reception if you want to see later on."
"Sounds like a plan." I replied.
After we cleaned the plates she showed me a rough draft of her idea: shrimp scampi, swiss steak and jambalaya where some of the few dishes she wanted to have. The menu had an absolutely delicious range of flavors, all of which I couldn't wait to share with the rest of my family.
Eventually she had to return home. I walked Cathie to her car, we kissed goodbye, and I waved to her as she drove away.
Before I walked back inside, out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw someone in black under the streetlight.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
The White Tree
When you have very little to do, the hours seem to grow long and longer. Five minutes seem like thirty, and thirty minutes seem like a full hour. Taking walks around the entire neighborhood lost its novelty and I had caught up on all my reading. It was during this time that I learned the meaning of the phrase, "boredom is not a burden anyone should bear."
So in my desperation to get away from boredom, I called up Catherine and the others to carpool somewhere, preferably a place with electricity. Thankfully everyone was available to hang out, so away I went to pick up my friends and fiancee to steal them away. During the drive I heard several horror stories about what had befallen them in the meantime: Florence and her family had to clean out broken glass from not only her shed, but from her garage as well. Vivian's stove stopped working, which meant that they could not even warm up soup for mealtime. The window to Naomi's family room had a nice big tree branch thrust through it, making an unholy mess. Rebecca had to deal with her poor mother twisting her ankle on something. The injury wasn't too serious, but it made things harder on Becks.
We stopped at our nearest Sonic and ate a yummy lunch there. As we sat in my car, wondering what to do next, Catherine said, "Let's go to the park. I want to take a walk through the woods."
At first we were all a bit shocked that she would want such a thing. As you know, Catherine had developed an irrational phobia concerning forests, so at first I didn't know what to say. But she looked at me with this expression of 'trust me, I know what I'm doing.' I did trust her, so I complied. "The park it is, then."
On the way there Naomi asked, "So has Dr. Frey been helping you?"
"Mmhmm. Very much. He's a huge help."
"How are your parents doing?" Rebecca reached over and patted her arm.
"They're doing good. They're such troopers about this whole thing, making sure that I'm safe and keeping their eyes on me. Sometimes it get a bit much, but it helps."
Vivian said, "What do you want to do in the woods?"
"Walk around, get a feel of the place again. I want to see if I can do it."
After that, we spent the rest of the ride in silence. I trusted Catherine to know what she wanted to do. Maybe her fear of playgrounds would be conquered as well. All too quickly, we reached our destination. I parked the car and said, "Well, we're here."
As we walked towards the woods, I patted Catherine on the shoulder in comfort. I wanted to let her know I was here.
Vivian was the first to walk in, and halfway down the path she looked back to see if we were coming. Rebecca followed, then Florence, then Naomi. I hesitated walking along with them, since I didn't want to leave Catherine waiting. But she gave me a firm push, saying "No. If you're in there, it will give me a lot of incentive."
I whispered, "You can do it, Cathie."
To be honest I wanted to be right there with her, to hold her hand at let her know that everything would be alright. But if this is what she wanted and if this helped her, then so be it.
I walked as far as the girls did, turning around to see what Catherine would do.
She stood at the mouth of the forest, looking at the path and took one hesitant step forward. I saw her mouth the words 'here come the sun' as if it were a prayer that kept her from harm. She didn't close her eyes as she walked; Catherine kept them wide open as if in defiance, it seemed. With each step she got more and more confident, so much so that she walked right past us.
We cheered loudly on her behalf, and in my happiness I bum rushed her in a hug. I was so happy that she had faced her fears. I gave me hope that she would completely get better, and we could look back on all those frightful times and laugh.
All six of us walked down the long path, chatting and now fully enjoying ourselves in the soothing shade of the forest. I don't know how long or how far we walked, but in the fork in the road, we saw something...chilling.
Before us was a dead, white tree. The branches were bare and gnarled as if writhing in pain. It wasn't small by any means, but it wasn't big either. Hung on those branches were trinkets held with twine: bird feathers, fish scales, bottles of what looked like blood and dirt, pieces of goat horns, broken glass and mirrors, an entire assortment of bizzare and disturbing decorations. The trunk of the tree was not spared from oddity: some parts were smeared with what I assumed was ash from a burned thing. Some words were written on it (carved into it) in a strange language that neither I nor anyone else could identify.
Catherine tugged at my hand, "I want to go now. I don't like this at all."
I turned to look at her and saw that her face was nearly at white as the tree. I saw fear and anger in her eyes, but nothing that suggested violence. Without looking back, we all walked quickly away from the tree and to my car.
So in my desperation to get away from boredom, I called up Catherine and the others to carpool somewhere, preferably a place with electricity. Thankfully everyone was available to hang out, so away I went to pick up my friends and fiancee to steal them away. During the drive I heard several horror stories about what had befallen them in the meantime: Florence and her family had to clean out broken glass from not only her shed, but from her garage as well. Vivian's stove stopped working, which meant that they could not even warm up soup for mealtime. The window to Naomi's family room had a nice big tree branch thrust through it, making an unholy mess. Rebecca had to deal with her poor mother twisting her ankle on something. The injury wasn't too serious, but it made things harder on Becks.
We stopped at our nearest Sonic and ate a yummy lunch there. As we sat in my car, wondering what to do next, Catherine said, "Let's go to the park. I want to take a walk through the woods."
At first we were all a bit shocked that she would want such a thing. As you know, Catherine had developed an irrational phobia concerning forests, so at first I didn't know what to say. But she looked at me with this expression of 'trust me, I know what I'm doing.' I did trust her, so I complied. "The park it is, then."
On the way there Naomi asked, "So has Dr. Frey been helping you?"
"Mmhmm. Very much. He's a huge help."
"How are your parents doing?" Rebecca reached over and patted her arm.
"They're doing good. They're such troopers about this whole thing, making sure that I'm safe and keeping their eyes on me. Sometimes it get a bit much, but it helps."
Vivian said, "What do you want to do in the woods?"
"Walk around, get a feel of the place again. I want to see if I can do it."
After that, we spent the rest of the ride in silence. I trusted Catherine to know what she wanted to do. Maybe her fear of playgrounds would be conquered as well. All too quickly, we reached our destination. I parked the car and said, "Well, we're here."
As we walked towards the woods, I patted Catherine on the shoulder in comfort. I wanted to let her know I was here.
Vivian was the first to walk in, and halfway down the path she looked back to see if we were coming. Rebecca followed, then Florence, then Naomi. I hesitated walking along with them, since I didn't want to leave Catherine waiting. But she gave me a firm push, saying "No. If you're in there, it will give me a lot of incentive."
I whispered, "You can do it, Cathie."
To be honest I wanted to be right there with her, to hold her hand at let her know that everything would be alright. But if this is what she wanted and if this helped her, then so be it.
I walked as far as the girls did, turning around to see what Catherine would do.
She stood at the mouth of the forest, looking at the path and took one hesitant step forward. I saw her mouth the words 'here come the sun' as if it were a prayer that kept her from harm. She didn't close her eyes as she walked; Catherine kept them wide open as if in defiance, it seemed. With each step she got more and more confident, so much so that she walked right past us.
We cheered loudly on her behalf, and in my happiness I bum rushed her in a hug. I was so happy that she had faced her fears. I gave me hope that she would completely get better, and we could look back on all those frightful times and laugh.
All six of us walked down the long path, chatting and now fully enjoying ourselves in the soothing shade of the forest. I don't know how long or how far we walked, but in the fork in the road, we saw something...chilling.
Before us was a dead, white tree. The branches were bare and gnarled as if writhing in pain. It wasn't small by any means, but it wasn't big either. Hung on those branches were trinkets held with twine: bird feathers, fish scales, bottles of what looked like blood and dirt, pieces of goat horns, broken glass and mirrors, an entire assortment of bizzare and disturbing decorations. The trunk of the tree was not spared from oddity: some parts were smeared with what I assumed was ash from a burned thing. Some words were written on it (carved into it) in a strange language that neither I nor anyone else could identify.
Catherine tugged at my hand, "I want to go now. I don't like this at all."
I turned to look at her and saw that her face was nearly at white as the tree. I saw fear and anger in her eyes, but nothing that suggested violence. Without looking back, we all walked quickly away from the tree and to my car.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Happy Birthday, Rebecca!
Happy 22nd, Rebecca! I hope you have a great semester and get accepted into Miskatonic like you wanted. If you do, don't forget to send us an e-mail once in a while to let us know how you are doing. I hope you liked the books I got for you!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Still Dark
I got a call from Catherine at 9 am the next day. She apologized for not contacting me the day before, saying that the hurricane had caused her to have a panic attack.
"Is everything alright?" I asked, hoping that it was but prepared if it wasn't.
Catherine said, "I'm fine now, I promise. I just hid myself under the blankets and repeated a mantra that Dr. Frey taught me. I just say 'here comes the sun' over and over again and picture something beautiful, and I feel much better! I wish I knew this before hand, honestly. It would have saved us a lot of trouble."
"Hey, if you're feeling better, then everything is fine. What are you up to?"
"Me? I'm looking at the trees on the ground and wondering when the power will come back on. The same thing as everyone else."
We talked for a while and made some plans to hang out together. When it finished, I gently placed the phone down and briefly fell back to sleep. An hour later, I was finally ready to get up. I walked around the house for a while, doing any chores that I needed to do; fifteen minutes later I was done.
With the power out and nothing else to do, I took to catching up on the reading material that I planned on finishing. However, after a few hours of that it got tiring. My neck started to hurt from looking down so much. So what else was could I do? I painted a wee bit, picked at the strings on an old guitar, tried to knit but ended up just doing cat's cradle, and ate some chips. How exciting.
I wandered outside to get some fresh air. Lunagirl was back outside playing around, eating, sleeping, the usual cat stuff. For her, life continued as normal with nothing amiss at all. Cats live so simply. Electricity doesn't play a huge part in their lives at all.
Catherine showed up to my house at 12:30 just as I was doing yet another lap in our backyard pool. It had gotten so unbearably hot without the air conditioning that it was pretty much the only option. She called out my name and knelt down to give me a kiss. "So how is my little mermaid holding up without any power?"
I rolled my eyes, smiling, "I'm holding up. It's not that bad, really. How are your folks?"
She replied, "They're doing fine. Mom misses watching her shows and Dad keeps on flicking at the lightswitch. I even caught myself doing it."
I got out of the pool and got us two bottles of water from the outside cooler; we both needed the hydration badly. I can't say that the conversations that we had were anything of note. We sat in the shade and talked about simple things, like when the power would come back on and what the autumn semester would bring us.
"Well, one of the things Dr. Frey wanted me to do was put away all fo those drawings that I made in a folder, then put it in my closet and forget all about it. He said that Fear Dubh couldn't hurt me and my thinking about it like that was hindering progress."
Taking a sip from my water bottle, I asked, "So what else did he say?"
"He wants me to keep writing in my diary and focusing on the good things that I have instead. Won't be too hard, really. I have a lot to be thankful for." She placed her hand on mine as she said that.
Catherine stayed over for dinner that night, which consisted of us eating the rest of the coldcuts in the fridge. It wasn't all that bad; at least we HAD something to eat. She left after that, and I went to bed. Hey, I had nothing else better to do anyway.
On day three I woke up early to see the sun rising, walked outside for thirty minutes, and then returned inside. I read some magazines and greeted each family member as they woke up. My father opened the refridge for some milk, but he found that that all of our food had spoiled. Every last item had thawed to to the point of inediblility. And so with heavy, heavy hearts, my family and I had to toss out three refridgerators and freezers worth of food. It was so surreal seeing the usually full fridge now completely empty. It was a harsh reminder that things were getting serious.
"Is everything alright?" I asked, hoping that it was but prepared if it wasn't.
Catherine said, "I'm fine now, I promise. I just hid myself under the blankets and repeated a mantra that Dr. Frey taught me. I just say 'here comes the sun' over and over again and picture something beautiful, and I feel much better! I wish I knew this before hand, honestly. It would have saved us a lot of trouble."
"Hey, if you're feeling better, then everything is fine. What are you up to?"
"Me? I'm looking at the trees on the ground and wondering when the power will come back on. The same thing as everyone else."
We talked for a while and made some plans to hang out together. When it finished, I gently placed the phone down and briefly fell back to sleep. An hour later, I was finally ready to get up. I walked around the house for a while, doing any chores that I needed to do; fifteen minutes later I was done.
With the power out and nothing else to do, I took to catching up on the reading material that I planned on finishing. However, after a few hours of that it got tiring. My neck started to hurt from looking down so much. So what else was could I do? I painted a wee bit, picked at the strings on an old guitar, tried to knit but ended up just doing cat's cradle, and ate some chips. How exciting.
I wandered outside to get some fresh air. Lunagirl was back outside playing around, eating, sleeping, the usual cat stuff. For her, life continued as normal with nothing amiss at all. Cats live so simply. Electricity doesn't play a huge part in their lives at all.
Catherine showed up to my house at 12:30 just as I was doing yet another lap in our backyard pool. It had gotten so unbearably hot without the air conditioning that it was pretty much the only option. She called out my name and knelt down to give me a kiss. "So how is my little mermaid holding up without any power?"
I rolled my eyes, smiling, "I'm holding up. It's not that bad, really. How are your folks?"
She replied, "They're doing fine. Mom misses watching her shows and Dad keeps on flicking at the lightswitch. I even caught myself doing it."
I got out of the pool and got us two bottles of water from the outside cooler; we both needed the hydration badly. I can't say that the conversations that we had were anything of note. We sat in the shade and talked about simple things, like when the power would come back on and what the autumn semester would bring us.
"Well, one of the things Dr. Frey wanted me to do was put away all fo those drawings that I made in a folder, then put it in my closet and forget all about it. He said that Fear Dubh couldn't hurt me and my thinking about it like that was hindering progress."
Taking a sip from my water bottle, I asked, "So what else did he say?"
"He wants me to keep writing in my diary and focusing on the good things that I have instead. Won't be too hard, really. I have a lot to be thankful for." She placed her hand on mine as she said that.
Catherine stayed over for dinner that night, which consisted of us eating the rest of the coldcuts in the fridge. It wasn't all that bad; at least we HAD something to eat. She left after that, and I went to bed. Hey, I had nothing else better to do anyway.
On day three I woke up early to see the sun rising, walked outside for thirty minutes, and then returned inside. I read some magazines and greeted each family member as they woke up. My father opened the refridge for some milk, but he found that that all of our food had spoiled. Every last item had thawed to to the point of inediblility. And so with heavy, heavy hearts, my family and I had to toss out three refridgerators and freezers worth of food. It was so surreal seeing the usually full fridge now completely empty. It was a harsh reminder that things were getting serious.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
The Storm
On August 21, we began to prepare for the oncoming hurricane. I can't tell you how many times I went out to the supermarkets (with and without friends) to get the supplies that we needed in case of something going wrong. With a hurricane that big on the way, we couldn't take any chances.
August 27 was pretty much judgement day. We were as prepared as we could ever be, flashlights, batteries, the works. Lunagirl, usually an outdoor cat, was brought in the house due to our fears that she would be hurt. We knew that she was smart, but from what we heard, the hurricane was too big and too wild to risk her safety. As I predicted, Lunagirl loved being inside. She roamed the house like an excited kid through Disney World, brushing up against and jumping up on everything she could find; it was the cutest little thing.
Before I headed off to bed, I made sure to call not just Catherine, but all of my girls to make sure that they were safe, sound and prepared for whatever came their way.
We all slept in our basement, where it was the safest. Lunagirl curled up next to me and didn't stir for the remainder of the night. If I dreamed of anything, I can't remember for the life of me.
In the morning I awoke to the sound of Lungirl meowing loudly in my ear. No doubt she was hungry. She pawed at me, insistent that I get up and tend to her needs.
"Alright," I croaked, "I hear you. Come on...let's go" I got up from the couch and lumpered up the stairs, rubbing my eyes as I did so. In my blurry vision I could not see anything outside the windows, besides the early morning sun rising. Lunagirl sat at the backdoor, waiting to be let out. I said, "Be patient, kitten. Let me get your breakfast...really? You want to be let outside now? Oh, alright. Come here."
I walked outside, with Lunagirl in my arms, into a near war zone. Fallen branches and unearthed trees were everywhere. One large tree had completely fallen over into our neighbor's pool, breaking the fence and crushing their heater. Luckily, our pool only had half a tree in there; all my dad had to do was fish it out, albeit cursing up another storm. My precious cat seemed confused about what happened and why the people around her seemed so distraught. It seemed that as she ate her food she was mulling over this puzzle.
My mother tried to turn on the lights multiple times and found that we, like the rest of our neighbors, were completely without power.
My phone came alive, and before I had time to say 'hello' to the caller, Vivian practically screamed, "Dude! That was one hell of a storm last night! That hurricane destroyed three houses on my street!"
"You're kidding."
"Nope. I'm looking at them right now. No one's dead, but their houses are toast."
And as if to prove her point, shortly after our call ended I got pictures of the said houses. They were indeed toast.
Twenty minutes passed and a text message from Florence read, 'Tell me that you're alright, El.' I responded with telling her that I was indeed alright, but without any power. She texted back with a '-3- same here. My parents are getting twigs and bushes out of the shed. The windows broke and there is glass every which way. I have to help clean it all up. Christ almighty -_-.' Damn, I really felt bad for Flo.
On a whim my father got us all in the car to see how everyone else faired. The neighborhoods around ours were lightless, looking with absolute horror at how many power lines were completely torn from the poles, knotted with the branches of the trees that fell them. Seeing as we were in the car already, we all went to the magical land of 7-11 to get breakfast. You never saw a convenience store so crowded, I swear to God. I got a cinnamon roll and orange juice to ward off the hunger. So there we were, sitting in the 7-11 parking lot wondering what the hell we would do, and in that time Naomi sent me some pictures of what happened near her. Surprise, surprise, it was as bad as everyone else's.
When we returned to our house, the power was still out and wouldn't come back on. The hours ticked by and still nothing. Rebecca set me a video message from her phone to mine, walking around her street and expressing her dismay at how the storm ravaged seemingly everying.
The one upside that I liked was that the stars could be seen much better without all the lights. The first day wasn't so bad, actually.
August 27 was pretty much judgement day. We were as prepared as we could ever be, flashlights, batteries, the works. Lunagirl, usually an outdoor cat, was brought in the house due to our fears that she would be hurt. We knew that she was smart, but from what we heard, the hurricane was too big and too wild to risk her safety. As I predicted, Lunagirl loved being inside. She roamed the house like an excited kid through Disney World, brushing up against and jumping up on everything she could find; it was the cutest little thing.
Before I headed off to bed, I made sure to call not just Catherine, but all of my girls to make sure that they were safe, sound and prepared for whatever came their way.
We all slept in our basement, where it was the safest. Lunagirl curled up next to me and didn't stir for the remainder of the night. If I dreamed of anything, I can't remember for the life of me.
In the morning I awoke to the sound of Lungirl meowing loudly in my ear. No doubt she was hungry. She pawed at me, insistent that I get up and tend to her needs.
"Alright," I croaked, "I hear you. Come on...let's go" I got up from the couch and lumpered up the stairs, rubbing my eyes as I did so. In my blurry vision I could not see anything outside the windows, besides the early morning sun rising. Lunagirl sat at the backdoor, waiting to be let out. I said, "Be patient, kitten. Let me get your breakfast...really? You want to be let outside now? Oh, alright. Come here."
I walked outside, with Lunagirl in my arms, into a near war zone. Fallen branches and unearthed trees were everywhere. One large tree had completely fallen over into our neighbor's pool, breaking the fence and crushing their heater. Luckily, our pool only had half a tree in there; all my dad had to do was fish it out, albeit cursing up another storm. My precious cat seemed confused about what happened and why the people around her seemed so distraught. It seemed that as she ate her food she was mulling over this puzzle.
My mother tried to turn on the lights multiple times and found that we, like the rest of our neighbors, were completely without power.
My phone came alive, and before I had time to say 'hello' to the caller, Vivian practically screamed, "Dude! That was one hell of a storm last night! That hurricane destroyed three houses on my street!"
"You're kidding."
"Nope. I'm looking at them right now. No one's dead, but their houses are toast."
And as if to prove her point, shortly after our call ended I got pictures of the said houses. They were indeed toast.
Twenty minutes passed and a text message from Florence read, 'Tell me that you're alright, El.' I responded with telling her that I was indeed alright, but without any power. She texted back with a '-3- same here. My parents are getting twigs and bushes out of the shed. The windows broke and there is glass every which way. I have to help clean it all up. Christ almighty -_-.' Damn, I really felt bad for Flo.
On a whim my father got us all in the car to see how everyone else faired. The neighborhoods around ours were lightless, looking with absolute horror at how many power lines were completely torn from the poles, knotted with the branches of the trees that fell them. Seeing as we were in the car already, we all went to the magical land of 7-11 to get breakfast. You never saw a convenience store so crowded, I swear to God. I got a cinnamon roll and orange juice to ward off the hunger. So there we were, sitting in the 7-11 parking lot wondering what the hell we would do, and in that time Naomi sent me some pictures of what happened near her. Surprise, surprise, it was as bad as everyone else's.
When we returned to our house, the power was still out and wouldn't come back on. The hours ticked by and still nothing. Rebecca set me a video message from her phone to mine, walking around her street and expressing her dismay at how the storm ravaged seemingly everying.
The one upside that I liked was that the stars could be seen much better without all the lights. The first day wasn't so bad, actually.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Therapy
Dr. Frey was a bona fide miracle. He talked to Catherine, and Catherine talked to him. She wasn't put on any drugs, but was advised to keep writing and doodling in the diary that I had given her. Obviously Dr. Frey could not disclose to me what they talked about, but I did listen in outside the door to sate my curiosity. I heard some things like, "The darkness cannot hurt you, neither can the snow, or the trees for that matter." and "You love Elizabeth with all your heart, I can tell. You are both so lucky to have each other in these stressful times." The secretary found me, and out into the waiting room I was sent.
Catherine was taken to get examined by medical doctors to check for any injuries or signs that she had been sexually assaulted. Aside from some scrapes not made my knives, bruises that were made by fumbling and falling, and a bloody nose, she was unharmed. She had not been raped, thankfully, and nothing suggested that she had been beaten or tortured. A cat scan was done to see if she suffered any head trauma; they all came back normal, much to the puzzlement of the doctors.
But we celebrated Catherine's return and good health, with Vivian driving all five of us to Chili's. And boy, was it delicious. Despite all of that, I still managed to lose four pounds. I blame Florence for her not-so little running trips she has us all do with her.
Another time that I accompanied Catherine to the doctor's office, I looked up from my fashion magazine and truly observed my surroundings. Some of the pictures were of nature: forests, lakes, mountain tops and deserts during different seasons were predominate, but there were also pictures of people. Some of them were done in a blanched, vintage style that was rather pretty. Near Dr. Frey's door was a small table with some little fresh summer flowers in a green glass vase, and close to it was a photograph of two charming looking girls. After the session between them had completed, I asked him, "Who are those two girls there, Doctor?"
"Oh! Those are my two daughters: Justine and Juliette." He brought the picture forward so we could see better. The girls were very pretty, dressed up in formal wear. "This was a while ago, so if you meet them they will be much more beautiful."
We complimented the photo and his daughters, thanked the doctor again and off we went.
On the drive back to my house, Catherine poked my arm and said, "I hope our girls will be as pretty as Dr. Frey's."
"Oh, much more!" I laughed. "They'll be the prettiest, nicest kids in the world."
"Their names will be Alice and Dorothy."
"Perfect!"
"And they will wear little blue dresses."
"Even better."
So the topic of the day was children, and when we think we would be ready for them. We supposed sometime in our mid to late twenties or early thirties. Sometimes I wonder what kind of life we would have had if she stayed. I still miss her.
Catherine was taken to get examined by medical doctors to check for any injuries or signs that she had been sexually assaulted. Aside from some scrapes not made my knives, bruises that were made by fumbling and falling, and a bloody nose, she was unharmed. She had not been raped, thankfully, and nothing suggested that she had been beaten or tortured. A cat scan was done to see if she suffered any head trauma; they all came back normal, much to the puzzlement of the doctors.
But we celebrated Catherine's return and good health, with Vivian driving all five of us to Chili's. And boy, was it delicious. Despite all of that, I still managed to lose four pounds. I blame Florence for her not-so little running trips she has us all do with her.
Another time that I accompanied Catherine to the doctor's office, I looked up from my fashion magazine and truly observed my surroundings. Some of the pictures were of nature: forests, lakes, mountain tops and deserts during different seasons were predominate, but there were also pictures of people. Some of them were done in a blanched, vintage style that was rather pretty. Near Dr. Frey's door was a small table with some little fresh summer flowers in a green glass vase, and close to it was a photograph of two charming looking girls. After the session between them had completed, I asked him, "Who are those two girls there, Doctor?"
"Oh! Those are my two daughters: Justine and Juliette." He brought the picture forward so we could see better. The girls were very pretty, dressed up in formal wear. "This was a while ago, so if you meet them they will be much more beautiful."
We complimented the photo and his daughters, thanked the doctor again and off we went.
On the drive back to my house, Catherine poked my arm and said, "I hope our girls will be as pretty as Dr. Frey's."
"Oh, much more!" I laughed. "They'll be the prettiest, nicest kids in the world."
"Their names will be Alice and Dorothy."
"Perfect!"
"And they will wear little blue dresses."
"Even better."
So the topic of the day was children, and when we think we would be ready for them. We supposed sometime in our mid to late twenties or early thirties. Sometimes I wonder what kind of life we would have had if she stayed. I still miss her.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
The Doctor
On the seventh day, Catherine returned.
I was napping, deeply in sleep with my phone at earshot and when I heard the doorbell. Thinking nothing of it, I grumbled, turned over, and proceeded to drift off again. The person at the door rang it again, and this time I had little choice but to throw off my covers and answer it. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and opened the door to see no one else by Catherine.
And there she was: dirty, unwashed but smiling. "Elizabeth...hey. I have to apologize for acting so crazy. Things have been really, really weird as of late, and it's so--"
I threw my arms around her without letting her finish. I couldn't believe it: my Cathie had safely returned to me! Tears welled in my eyes and spilled over onto my cheeks, which in turn landed on her clothing. She hugged me back.
"I love you, too, Ellie. I really do." she whispered.
"Where did you go?"
Here she stepped back and looked at me oddly. "Wait. Why did you ask me that?"
I motioned for her to come on inside. Behind us I closed the door and locked it, just in case. "You were gone for seven days. Your parents and I tried calling you. Hell, we all tried to contact you. I went to your house the day after the beach and you weren't there. I looked everywhere!"
She folded her arms in concentration, "Are you...sure?"
I responded, "I'm 100% positive."
Catherine suddenly got this look in her eyes, a look similar to understanding. She slowly nodded her head in a 'oh, so that's it' kind of way. "Well," she murmured "You will never have to worry about that ever again. I'm getting my shit together."
I laid a hand on a shoulder. "I'm happy about that, Catherine. I am. But where were you this whole time?"
Here she looked at herself, noticing the mud, dirt and grass stains, some dried and some fresh. It looked as if she had taken a hike for six days and then slept in a field full of weeds. Her nostrils and upper lip were crusted with dried blood. "I don't have the slightest clue. I woke up outside of my room but didn't think much of it. I remembered how anxious you were about me...and here I am."
That was quite unnerving to hear. Even Catherine herself was clueless as to where she went and why she was missing.
I spread the word that Catherine had come back, much to the relief of every last person I knew. Rebecca still wanted her to go see a psychiatrist, which everyone agreed was the best course of action. Catherine herself thought it a wise idea. Luckily for us, a doctor was indeed available.
Dr. Alphonse Frey, a very clever and amiable man with several degrees in several fields came to her rescue. He gladly took Catherine as his patient, saying that she indeed need the help of a trained professional to get rid of these ailments, hopefully by the time of our wedding. I remember standing in his huge office with all those books and diplomas that proudly testified the extent of his knowledge. I saw copies of books by Frederich Wilhelm Von Junzt and Ludwig Prinn, two very notable German authors.
One time when I accompanied her to the office, Dr. Frey offered me some herbal tea and cherries that he picked from his garden. I ate the entire bowl by the time they were done. Catherine liked him, I liked him, everyone liked him. Things were indeed looking up for all of us.
I was napping, deeply in sleep with my phone at earshot and when I heard the doorbell. Thinking nothing of it, I grumbled, turned over, and proceeded to drift off again. The person at the door rang it again, and this time I had little choice but to throw off my covers and answer it. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and opened the door to see no one else by Catherine.
And there she was: dirty, unwashed but smiling. "Elizabeth...hey. I have to apologize for acting so crazy. Things have been really, really weird as of late, and it's so--"
I threw my arms around her without letting her finish. I couldn't believe it: my Cathie had safely returned to me! Tears welled in my eyes and spilled over onto my cheeks, which in turn landed on her clothing. She hugged me back.
"I love you, too, Ellie. I really do." she whispered.
"Where did you go?"
Here she stepped back and looked at me oddly. "Wait. Why did you ask me that?"
I motioned for her to come on inside. Behind us I closed the door and locked it, just in case. "You were gone for seven days. Your parents and I tried calling you. Hell, we all tried to contact you. I went to your house the day after the beach and you weren't there. I looked everywhere!"
She folded her arms in concentration, "Are you...sure?"
I responded, "I'm 100% positive."
Catherine suddenly got this look in her eyes, a look similar to understanding. She slowly nodded her head in a 'oh, so that's it' kind of way. "Well," she murmured "You will never have to worry about that ever again. I'm getting my shit together."
I laid a hand on a shoulder. "I'm happy about that, Catherine. I am. But where were you this whole time?"
Here she looked at herself, noticing the mud, dirt and grass stains, some dried and some fresh. It looked as if she had taken a hike for six days and then slept in a field full of weeds. Her nostrils and upper lip were crusted with dried blood. "I don't have the slightest clue. I woke up outside of my room but didn't think much of it. I remembered how anxious you were about me...and here I am."
That was quite unnerving to hear. Even Catherine herself was clueless as to where she went and why she was missing.
I spread the word that Catherine had come back, much to the relief of every last person I knew. Rebecca still wanted her to go see a psychiatrist, which everyone agreed was the best course of action. Catherine herself thought it a wise idea. Luckily for us, a doctor was indeed available.
Dr. Alphonse Frey, a very clever and amiable man with several degrees in several fields came to her rescue. He gladly took Catherine as his patient, saying that she indeed need the help of a trained professional to get rid of these ailments, hopefully by the time of our wedding. I remember standing in his huge office with all those books and diplomas that proudly testified the extent of his knowledge. I saw copies of books by Frederich Wilhelm Von Junzt and Ludwig Prinn, two very notable German authors.
One time when I accompanied her to the office, Dr. Frey offered me some herbal tea and cherries that he picked from his garden. I ate the entire bowl by the time they were done. Catherine liked him, I liked him, everyone liked him. Things were indeed looking up for all of us.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
A Bit of Reason
I was so worried about Catherine that I barely got any sleep that night. I tossed and turned and counted the seconds until dawn. It seemed like an eternity before the sun came up, and when it did, I was out the door and into my car. I drove to her house in a trance, my hands gripping the wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white.
As I pulled up the driveway, I saw that her parents' cars weren't there; they got up early for their job and sometimes got home late. Catherine's car, on the other hand, was in its usual haunt. I approached the front door, unlocked it, and went right towards the stairs.
"Catherine? Are you awake?" I called out from the bottom of the steps. "Are you sleep asleep, girlie?" I quietly walked up the stairs, before finally getting to her closed door. I knocked twice, and when I recieved no answer, I opened it.
She was gone.
The blankets on her bed were tangled and pushed back seemingly in a fit, as if she had clawed her way out of a nightmare. Some papers with the creature were flung around, and on closer inspection of found small droplets of blood upon a few. I stood there completely dumbfounded for some time before rushing through the house screaming her name, looking everywhere in the house. She was nowhere to be found. I clearly remember a cold panic thundering through me, and the helplessness and worry seemed to take me over.
I called Catherine hundreds of times, left hundreds of voice mails, and paced any room I was in so many times I swear I left a long groove in the floors. I asked her parents if they knew where she was, but they were just as confused as we all were. A part of me tried to reason that it was her going out and looking for a wonderful place for us to vacation to, as she had said before. But judging by the way she acted the night I dropped her off, it didn't seem likely.
On the fourth day I simply curled up into a ball on my bed, clutching my cell phone and crying softly into my pillow. I wished that I had walked into the house with her and stayed. I wished that she would get better. I wished harder than ever before. I don't know how long I stayed that way, but the sound of the doorbell roused me from my stupor. I slowly walked down the stairs, hair disheveled and eyes bright red, and answered the door.
Lo and behold it was Rebecca, who wanted to check up on me and see how I was doing. From the sympathetic look on her face when she saw me, Rebecca was kicking into full on mommy-mode; ready and willing to ease my pain. I felt my eyes beginning to sting; the tell-tale sign that another flood of tears were coming my way.
Immediately she escorted me to the kitchen, sat me down, and let me cry a river into her shoulder. As I wept, I also heard her cries join mine. It took too long for my tastes to calm down again, but when I did, Rebecca was right there for me.
When I could manage words again, she asked, "Do you have any idea what might have caused Catherine to act this way? Any hint at all?"
I took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened with me and Catherine; the new fears, the insect, the bloody coughs...and then I told her about this Fear Dubh, and how it might be connect to all of these events.
Rebecca sighed and looked at me incredulously, "Elizabeth, really? Fear Dubh and any related stories are just that: stories. Anyone and everyone claiming to see it is just mass paranoia. There has to be something else that is the matter."
It was so tempting to just nod my head and agree with her. Rebecca took nonsense from no one, tolerated stupidity from no one, and used logic and reason to sort out any problems. Her being that grounded helped the rest of us many a time.
"But Becca, you know her. She was never like this at all. What if someone--something-- is stalking her? Actually, no. I know that something is stalking her. Maybe it's that thing."
Rebecca shrugged, and I could see that she, too, was as anxious as I was. "Catherine is such a sweet person; I can't see her earning the ire of someone, unless this person was just sick in the head. Maybe, just maybe, there is a stalker who is using the image of the Fear Dubh to terrorize her. Maybe she is an unfortunate, random victim of a person who likes to torment their targets by messing with their minds as much as possible."
I opened my mouth to speak, but as I thought about what she had said, it had some basis. In fact, I was willing to believe everything that she had said. And then she continued, stating facts and giving logical answers to the confusing questions I had. Another knock at the door came an hour later, and this time I saw Vivian there, also coming to see how I was. As soon as Rebecca gave her the rundown on what was going on, she, too, joined in the conversation, though Vivian was a bit more willing to believe that something supernatural was most likely happening.
"It could happen!" Vivian exclaimed. "I mean, Catherine was never like this before. Who is to say that Fear Dubh doesn't exist? Stranger things have happened."
"All I'm saying is, I just have a hard time believing that a tall man all in black exists." Rebecca replied. "It doesn't seem probable in the slightest. When we find Catherine, we should get her to see a psychiatrist and clear this up. Something is going on and we have to get to the bottom of it. We all hate seeing her like this."
Vivian raised her hand. "I'll drive her, when the time comes. And we can all go to a restaurant afterwards."
I muttered agreement. I wondered how long my Catherine would be gone; a moment longer and I would pack my bags and look for her myself. The big problem was, I had no idea where in God's green earth she was. None whatsoever. I would be pure foolishness to go out and try to find her when I don't have the slightest clue where she is.
On the seventh day, Catherine returned.
As I pulled up the driveway, I saw that her parents' cars weren't there; they got up early for their job and sometimes got home late. Catherine's car, on the other hand, was in its usual haunt. I approached the front door, unlocked it, and went right towards the stairs.
"Catherine? Are you awake?" I called out from the bottom of the steps. "Are you sleep asleep, girlie?" I quietly walked up the stairs, before finally getting to her closed door. I knocked twice, and when I recieved no answer, I opened it.
She was gone.
The blankets on her bed were tangled and pushed back seemingly in a fit, as if she had clawed her way out of a nightmare. Some papers with the creature were flung around, and on closer inspection of found small droplets of blood upon a few. I stood there completely dumbfounded for some time before rushing through the house screaming her name, looking everywhere in the house. She was nowhere to be found. I clearly remember a cold panic thundering through me, and the helplessness and worry seemed to take me over.
I called Catherine hundreds of times, left hundreds of voice mails, and paced any room I was in so many times I swear I left a long groove in the floors. I asked her parents if they knew where she was, but they were just as confused as we all were. A part of me tried to reason that it was her going out and looking for a wonderful place for us to vacation to, as she had said before. But judging by the way she acted the night I dropped her off, it didn't seem likely.
On the fourth day I simply curled up into a ball on my bed, clutching my cell phone and crying softly into my pillow. I wished that I had walked into the house with her and stayed. I wished that she would get better. I wished harder than ever before. I don't know how long I stayed that way, but the sound of the doorbell roused me from my stupor. I slowly walked down the stairs, hair disheveled and eyes bright red, and answered the door.
Lo and behold it was Rebecca, who wanted to check up on me and see how I was doing. From the sympathetic look on her face when she saw me, Rebecca was kicking into full on mommy-mode; ready and willing to ease my pain. I felt my eyes beginning to sting; the tell-tale sign that another flood of tears were coming my way.
Immediately she escorted me to the kitchen, sat me down, and let me cry a river into her shoulder. As I wept, I also heard her cries join mine. It took too long for my tastes to calm down again, but when I did, Rebecca was right there for me.
When I could manage words again, she asked, "Do you have any idea what might have caused Catherine to act this way? Any hint at all?"
I took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened with me and Catherine; the new fears, the insect, the bloody coughs...and then I told her about this Fear Dubh, and how it might be connect to all of these events.
Rebecca sighed and looked at me incredulously, "Elizabeth, really? Fear Dubh and any related stories are just that: stories. Anyone and everyone claiming to see it is just mass paranoia. There has to be something else that is the matter."
It was so tempting to just nod my head and agree with her. Rebecca took nonsense from no one, tolerated stupidity from no one, and used logic and reason to sort out any problems. Her being that grounded helped the rest of us many a time.
"But Becca, you know her. She was never like this at all. What if someone--something-- is stalking her? Actually, no. I know that something is stalking her. Maybe it's that thing."
Rebecca shrugged, and I could see that she, too, was as anxious as I was. "Catherine is such a sweet person; I can't see her earning the ire of someone, unless this person was just sick in the head. Maybe, just maybe, there is a stalker who is using the image of the Fear Dubh to terrorize her. Maybe she is an unfortunate, random victim of a person who likes to torment their targets by messing with their minds as much as possible."
I opened my mouth to speak, but as I thought about what she had said, it had some basis. In fact, I was willing to believe everything that she had said. And then she continued, stating facts and giving logical answers to the confusing questions I had. Another knock at the door came an hour later, and this time I saw Vivian there, also coming to see how I was. As soon as Rebecca gave her the rundown on what was going on, she, too, joined in the conversation, though Vivian was a bit more willing to believe that something supernatural was most likely happening.
"It could happen!" Vivian exclaimed. "I mean, Catherine was never like this before. Who is to say that Fear Dubh doesn't exist? Stranger things have happened."
"All I'm saying is, I just have a hard time believing that a tall man all in black exists." Rebecca replied. "It doesn't seem probable in the slightest. When we find Catherine, we should get her to see a psychiatrist and clear this up. Something is going on and we have to get to the bottom of it. We all hate seeing her like this."
Vivian raised her hand. "I'll drive her, when the time comes. And we can all go to a restaurant afterwards."
I muttered agreement. I wondered how long my Catherine would be gone; a moment longer and I would pack my bags and look for her myself. The big problem was, I had no idea where in God's green earth she was. None whatsoever. I would be pure foolishness to go out and try to find her when I don't have the slightest clue where she is.
On the seventh day, Catherine returned.
Monday, July 16, 2012
The Beach
The next day I decided that now was as good a time as ever to cheer Catherine up with a trip to one of her favorite places. I called the rest of the girls together, and we all carpooled to go to the beach. It was a perfect day for such an outing, and the moment we got there I could see that everyone couldn't wait to start enjoying the day.
We set up our area and finally took the time to relax. Naomi dove into the ocean as soon as she could, with Florence not far behind. Vivian and Rebecca stayed on the sand, listening to music and reading a book respectively. My finacee and I sat on our beach chairs holding hands, admiring it all.
"I love this area, Ellie. It's so peaceful." as she said that, her eyes wandered to the perfect blue waves and sky, to the sand and the small children that splashed and yelled with joy. "I can see why tons of people flock here every summer. It's like you can forget the whole world here." With that she removed her sunglasses and wide brimmed hat, waded into the water...and proceeded to get nailed by a wave. She was alright, though, and as soon as she collected herself (and spat out some water and sand) Catherine laughed about it.
It felt so good to see my Cathy smiling again. It seemed like forever since I saw her act normally. After we hung around the beach for a few hours, we decided to head down to the Point Pleasant boardwalk. Honestly it was one of the most fun days I've had, with us playing those games and going on those rides. Just us being together having fun was amazing. And what better way to finish up such a lovely day than by eating a heavy dinner of boardwalk confectionary? We probably all gained more than five pounds, but damn, was it worth it.
The sun was beginning to set when Catherine and I took a short walk down the beach. As soon as we got back, we were all going to head home. Truth be told nobody wanted to. Catherine sighed, "It's too bad we have to leave." she said, "Please promise you'll take me here again."
Suddenly she began to cough; not violently, but softly. She wiped her mouth, and I saw a bit a blood on the back of her hand. I freaked out a little bit on the inside, and I prayed that whatever she had would pass and our lives could go back to the way they were."Yeah," I said, "I promise."
I wish I could.
As we drove home, and I dropped off the girls at their respective homes, I could see Catherine start to get a bit nervous. The night had already fallen by the time I was driving to her house. I saw her nervously bite her lower lip, as if she was anticipating some unwelcome event, or someone to just pound on our window at a traffic light. "Hey, Catherine," I said softly, "How about you take a rest, okay?"
"I'm not tired."
"I...you look really nervous. Close your eyes for a bit, and I'll wake you when we're close to your house."
"Ellie, please. I'm alright."
"Are you sure? You look very upset about something."
She didn't respond to me, only turned her head to look out her window. For a brief moment there was silence, and in that moment I mulled over what I could do to help my beloved. Suddenly, Catherine let out a choked scream. Whatever she saw was freaking her the hell out, and I pulled over to try calming her down. I grabbed her shoulders in an attepted to
I spoke to her as loud and clear as I could, asking her what was the matter, begging her to calm down, telling her to take deep breaths, anything I could think of. Within minutes she did indeed manage to stop her hysteria.
"What happened? What did you see?" I asked, hoping that her answer could give me a reason behind her sudden outburst. She swallowed heavily and said, "I saw a guy out there. Really freaky looking. I though he was coming towards the car."
"Did he looked like the guy you were drawing?" I asked, curious to see if she confirmed it or not.
I would love to say that she nodded or shook her head, but she didn't. Instead Catherine reclined back in the front seat and said nothing. I drove to her house, escorted her to the door as I always did, and went home.
The next day, Catherine went missing again.
We set up our area and finally took the time to relax. Naomi dove into the ocean as soon as she could, with Florence not far behind. Vivian and Rebecca stayed on the sand, listening to music and reading a book respectively. My finacee and I sat on our beach chairs holding hands, admiring it all.
"I love this area, Ellie. It's so peaceful." as she said that, her eyes wandered to the perfect blue waves and sky, to the sand and the small children that splashed and yelled with joy. "I can see why tons of people flock here every summer. It's like you can forget the whole world here." With that she removed her sunglasses and wide brimmed hat, waded into the water...and proceeded to get nailed by a wave. She was alright, though, and as soon as she collected herself (and spat out some water and sand) Catherine laughed about it.
It felt so good to see my Cathy smiling again. It seemed like forever since I saw her act normally. After we hung around the beach for a few hours, we decided to head down to the Point Pleasant boardwalk. Honestly it was one of the most fun days I've had, with us playing those games and going on those rides. Just us being together having fun was amazing. And what better way to finish up such a lovely day than by eating a heavy dinner of boardwalk confectionary? We probably all gained more than five pounds, but damn, was it worth it.
The sun was beginning to set when Catherine and I took a short walk down the beach. As soon as we got back, we were all going to head home. Truth be told nobody wanted to. Catherine sighed, "It's too bad we have to leave." she said, "Please promise you'll take me here again."
Suddenly she began to cough; not violently, but softly. She wiped her mouth, and I saw a bit a blood on the back of her hand. I freaked out a little bit on the inside, and I prayed that whatever she had would pass and our lives could go back to the way they were."Yeah," I said, "I promise."
I wish I could.
As we drove home, and I dropped off the girls at their respective homes, I could see Catherine start to get a bit nervous. The night had already fallen by the time I was driving to her house. I saw her nervously bite her lower lip, as if she was anticipating some unwelcome event, or someone to just pound on our window at a traffic light. "Hey, Catherine," I said softly, "How about you take a rest, okay?"
"I'm not tired."
"I...you look really nervous. Close your eyes for a bit, and I'll wake you when we're close to your house."
"Ellie, please. I'm alright."
"Are you sure? You look very upset about something."
She didn't respond to me, only turned her head to look out her window. For a brief moment there was silence, and in that moment I mulled over what I could do to help my beloved. Suddenly, Catherine let out a choked scream. Whatever she saw was freaking her the hell out, and I pulled over to try calming her down. I grabbed her shoulders in an attepted to
I spoke to her as loud and clear as I could, asking her what was the matter, begging her to calm down, telling her to take deep breaths, anything I could think of. Within minutes she did indeed manage to stop her hysteria.
"What happened? What did you see?" I asked, hoping that her answer could give me a reason behind her sudden outburst. She swallowed heavily and said, "I saw a guy out there. Really freaky looking. I though he was coming towards the car."
"Did he looked like the guy you were drawing?" I asked, curious to see if she confirmed it or not.
I would love to say that she nodded or shook her head, but she didn't. Instead Catherine reclined back in the front seat and said nothing. I drove to her house, escorted her to the door as I always did, and went home.
The next day, Catherine went missing again.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Fear Dubh
In my last post, I talked about the title of Catherine's book purchase. I couldn't get a good look at the author, or the cover art, but I know that the book exists somewhere. For some reason I can't seem to find it not matter what bookstore I look in.
I looked to the internet to give me the answer as to who or what the Fear Dubh is, as Catherine suddenly developed an interest in it. Normally Catherine would be facinated with Irish mythology, the faeries, the heroes and heroines, not the monsters that lurked in the shadows. In my research I found this little description of it:
“In Ireland, there is the legend of the Fear Dubh (The Black Man). This creature is said to haunt solitary footpaths at night, generally those that pass through woodland. It is reputed to be entirely malevolent."
I went from site to site searching for this thing, and found stories of people (or people who knew people) who had encounters with this 'Fear Dubh.' The stories were the stuff of nightmares; people being abducted in the night or, even more unnerving, the day. A story in Ireland about a child and her grandmother, and how the latter died in a terrible fire that had no known cause. How the fire made strange, black cracks all over the walls that looked like the tentacles of a eldritch sea monster. The pictures that showed what was left of the house were chilling. The local county police chief died of a heart attack a few days later, and following his death the priest also died mysteriously. Odd.
There are similar stories around the world, such as Der Großmann, who was featured in several disturbing woodcuts from 16th century Germany. It, too, was a malevolent entity; it lurked in the Black Forest, who supposedly kidnapped naughty children at night, and who stalked said children until they confessed their sins to their parents and changed their ways.
After I looked everywhere I could, I went to Catherine's house to ask her about her obsession with the Fear Dubh, and what started it. Catherine had a vivid imagination, which helped us during our childhood playdates. Perhaps it had gotten the best of her. Or perhaps not.
When I got to her house, I found her drawing in the den. She didn't look like she had slept in days. On pieces of large, white pieces of paper were grim images made with charcoal. Drawings of forests, of a black thing lurking in the water, the fire, the air and the earth, of half remembered nightmares through a cracked, ancient mirror.
I asked, "What is the Fear Dubh, Catherine?"
She muttered, "Something."
Not 'nothing, but 'something.'
"What is it?"
She was silent for a time, but then said, "Everything will be fine, Elizabeth. Just...just please stay with me."
I pulled her into a hug and I whispered, "I will never leave."
We laid on the sofa, saying nothing but holding each other, and there we fell asleep.
I looked to the internet to give me the answer as to who or what the Fear Dubh is, as Catherine suddenly developed an interest in it. Normally Catherine would be facinated with Irish mythology, the faeries, the heroes and heroines, not the monsters that lurked in the shadows. In my research I found this little description of it:
“In Ireland, there is the legend of the Fear Dubh (The Black Man). This creature is said to haunt solitary footpaths at night, generally those that pass through woodland. It is reputed to be entirely malevolent."
I went from site to site searching for this thing, and found stories of people (or people who knew people) who had encounters with this 'Fear Dubh.' The stories were the stuff of nightmares; people being abducted in the night or, even more unnerving, the day. A story in Ireland about a child and her grandmother, and how the latter died in a terrible fire that had no known cause. How the fire made strange, black cracks all over the walls that looked like the tentacles of a eldritch sea monster. The pictures that showed what was left of the house were chilling. The local county police chief died of a heart attack a few days later, and following his death the priest also died mysteriously. Odd.
There are similar stories around the world, such as Der Großmann, who was featured in several disturbing woodcuts from 16th century Germany. It, too, was a malevolent entity; it lurked in the Black Forest, who supposedly kidnapped naughty children at night, and who stalked said children until they confessed their sins to their parents and changed their ways.
After I looked everywhere I could, I went to Catherine's house to ask her about her obsession with the Fear Dubh, and what started it. Catherine had a vivid imagination, which helped us during our childhood playdates. Perhaps it had gotten the best of her. Or perhaps not.
When I got to her house, I found her drawing in the den. She didn't look like she had slept in days. On pieces of large, white pieces of paper were grim images made with charcoal. Drawings of forests, of a black thing lurking in the water, the fire, the air and the earth, of half remembered nightmares through a cracked, ancient mirror.
I asked, "What is the Fear Dubh, Catherine?"
She muttered, "Something."
Not 'nothing, but 'something.'
"What is it?"
She was silent for a time, but then said, "Everything will be fine, Elizabeth. Just...just please stay with me."
I pulled her into a hug and I whispered, "I will never leave."
We laid on the sofa, saying nothing but holding each other, and there we fell asleep.
Friday, June 22, 2012
The Night
Catherine slept over my house in the summer of 2011. It was a fun night, with us watching movies, making s'mores, laying on the grass and counting the stars. For a moment I didn't worry about her, and she as acting like her old self. We talked about how wonderful our new life would be, what color our room should be, the color of the curtains, that good stuff. Just her and me, in a world of our own.
We soon got tired, and as always, she slept with me. No, we didn't engage in maritals, if that's what you were thinking. We always slept in each other's bed since we became girlfriends. She curled up next to me, and together we fell asleep.
I woke to the sound of hysterical sobbing.
It wasn't my mother; she was dead asleep. It wasn't my brother of my father; they too were asleep. It definitely wasn't me, and it wasn't Catherine at all. But in the dead of night I could hear someone in the house crying in a way that I have never heard before. I don't know where it came from, or who was crying, but it chilled me to the bone. I wanted to go look for the source, maybe even comfort them, but the fear was stronger than my curiosity. Again I looked at Catherine, who was facing away from me. Instinctively I shuffeled closer, wrapped an arm around her, and closed my eyes. The crying continued.
I could do nothing else but listen and pray that it would stop soon.
To be honest I don't know how I did it, but I finally managed to sleep. The morning came, and the crying had finally ceased. Catherine was already in the kitchen, sipping her tea and reading the news. At first I wanted to talk about the crying I heard last night, hoping that perhaps she would have any idea. For some reason I decided against it. Maybe I was just being paranoid and it would turn out that one of my family members was crying. But...but it didn't sound like any of them.
Catherine wanted to go to the bookstore to pick something up and invited me to come with her. The entire drive there was in complete silence. Her hands gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. I don't think I saw her blink. I placed my hand on her shoulder, and her features softened.
Once we arrived, my beloved raced to the mythology and folklore section. Catherine had always been facinated by Irish folklore, as I already mentioned, and had several books on the topic. But she also had a ravenous appetite for folklore of the rest of the British Isles. Rebecca jokingly called her a walking encyclopedia on anything and everything relating to that subject. It was cute.
But watching Catherine flip through those books, desperate to find...whatever she was looking for, wasn't cute or in any way endearing; it was frightening. Wordlesly, anxiously, she ripped a book from its place from the shelf and tore through the pages in what looked like desperation. But as she picked up another book, a coughing fit shook her, and it fell to the floor.
I forgot to mention before: Catherine had been having these odd coughing fits on and off for a while. She went to the doctor for them, and he could find nothing wrong. Not even when she brought up that she had been having strange boughts of nosebleeds. I forgot what the doctor said, but he gave her something that was supposed to help. It did nothing.
She picked up the book and brought it to the cashier's, wordlessly paying for it and walking out the door. I couldn't get a good look at the title; she held it so close to her chest. We sat in the heated car for a little while.
"Are you okay?" I asked. I hoped that she would say something along the lines of, 'yes, I will be fine.' But all my Catherine did was weep. We sat there, in the heated car, as I held her. She told me that she loved me over and over again, and while I said nothing, I cried as well.
I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a part of the title: 'Fear Dubh.'
We soon got tired, and as always, she slept with me. No, we didn't engage in maritals, if that's what you were thinking. We always slept in each other's bed since we became girlfriends. She curled up next to me, and together we fell asleep.
I woke to the sound of hysterical sobbing.
It wasn't my mother; she was dead asleep. It wasn't my brother of my father; they too were asleep. It definitely wasn't me, and it wasn't Catherine at all. But in the dead of night I could hear someone in the house crying in a way that I have never heard before. I don't know where it came from, or who was crying, but it chilled me to the bone. I wanted to go look for the source, maybe even comfort them, but the fear was stronger than my curiosity. Again I looked at Catherine, who was facing away from me. Instinctively I shuffeled closer, wrapped an arm around her, and closed my eyes. The crying continued.
I could do nothing else but listen and pray that it would stop soon.
To be honest I don't know how I did it, but I finally managed to sleep. The morning came, and the crying had finally ceased. Catherine was already in the kitchen, sipping her tea and reading the news. At first I wanted to talk about the crying I heard last night, hoping that perhaps she would have any idea. For some reason I decided against it. Maybe I was just being paranoid and it would turn out that one of my family members was crying. But...but it didn't sound like any of them.
Catherine wanted to go to the bookstore to pick something up and invited me to come with her. The entire drive there was in complete silence. Her hands gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. I don't think I saw her blink. I placed my hand on her shoulder, and her features softened.
Once we arrived, my beloved raced to the mythology and folklore section. Catherine had always been facinated by Irish folklore, as I already mentioned, and had several books on the topic. But she also had a ravenous appetite for folklore of the rest of the British Isles. Rebecca jokingly called her a walking encyclopedia on anything and everything relating to that subject. It was cute.
But watching Catherine flip through those books, desperate to find...whatever she was looking for, wasn't cute or in any way endearing; it was frightening. Wordlesly, anxiously, she ripped a book from its place from the shelf and tore through the pages in what looked like desperation. But as she picked up another book, a coughing fit shook her, and it fell to the floor.
I forgot to mention before: Catherine had been having these odd coughing fits on and off for a while. She went to the doctor for them, and he could find nothing wrong. Not even when she brought up that she had been having strange boughts of nosebleeds. I forgot what the doctor said, but he gave her something that was supposed to help. It did nothing.
She picked up the book and brought it to the cashier's, wordlessly paying for it and walking out the door. I couldn't get a good look at the title; she held it so close to her chest. We sat in the heated car for a little while.
"Are you okay?" I asked. I hoped that she would say something along the lines of, 'yes, I will be fine.' But all my Catherine did was weep. We sat there, in the heated car, as I held her. She told me that she loved me over and over again, and while I said nothing, I cried as well.
I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a part of the title: 'Fear Dubh.'
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
This Day in History...
Today was to be our wedding day. We were supposed to have traveled to DC and gotten married in a lovely ceremony. What was to be the happiest day of our lives isn't, and no matter how many times I call her number, she never picks up. No matter how many times I beg for her to answer me and just tell me what happened, there is no one there. It's a bizzare kind of isolation that nothing can cure. Her parents are distraught, obviously. The police have found no trace of her anywhere.
If anyone has seen her, please let me know.
If anyone has seen her, please let me know.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
New Year, New Problems
2010 had come and gone, and 2011 came with heavy snow and record cold. It was a bitter, gelid winter that seemed to have no end in sight. The storms that came were relentless to the point of cruelty. Luckily for us, school and planning kept our bones and hearts warm.
Rebecca, Florence, Naomi and Vivian were to be our maids-of-honor, my little brother the best man. My family, Catherine's family, and some friends were invited to the wedding.
The invitations that we had sent out were adorable: it was a single white card, elegant script joyously proclaiming our wedding day, the place, the time, all those little details. Vivian thought that it would be interesting to add in some scents to make it more personal, like gardenia or jasmine. It was a neat idea that Catherine and I liked. We decided that jasmine would work perfectly, and added some glitter in the envelopes for that extra sparkle.
The goings on in our lives were hectic, with the wedding stuff, work, and college. How we managed would have been anyone's guess, but we did it and we did it with pride.
Rebecca (surprise, surprise) got the best report card out of us all. She always did, really. Only one B- in a sea of A's and A+'s. In November of last year she told us that she was seriously considering transfering to Miskatonic University in Massachusettes, and wanted to see if any of us wanted to apply with her. Now, MU is one of the most prestigious universities out there, on par with Harvard and Yale. Someone with Rebecca's smarts would get in without a doubt, but us? It was a 50/50 shot.
Florence was often found in the fitness center after classes, burning off all the stress and any thoughts of doubt, she would say. And when she wasn't getting her cardio in, she was at home writing down business plans for a company that she wants to start. Fürstin is to be her company's name. At first, Florence wanted to work for Vogue, but decided that she could do much better. She always wanted to be a businesswoman, and she wants Naomi to write for her magazine.
Naomi's true love has always been writing. She's been a part of the creative writing club for so long that she may as well be the person who runs it. Since as far back as I can remember she was always writing and reading all these incredible stories. She had written some pretty poems that she submitted to the newspaper often, and had a rough draft of a book series she eventually wanted to get published, but told us that she wanted to also write for a magazine. That's where Florence came in and proposed that Naomi write for her.
Vivian has wanted to make music for the longest time. The stuff she makes now are really catchy and well-made. It's nothing like what the pros do, not yet anyway. She is on our college's radio with her own show, called "Music of the Spheres." It's a hoot and a half listening to her. She hopes that after college she could find someone to help with her music career. She knows that the business is tough, but if anyone could handle it, Vivian would be at the top of the list.
As for Catherine, her grades went down and she dropped out of her beloved home ec club. I feel like a broken record saying this over and over again, but that was totally out of character for her. Yet again, she refused to open up and brushed it off, stating that she just had things on her mind. When she and I were talking about a book we had been reading, there was a stinkbug that had wandered into the kitchen and had begun to fly around obnoxiously. It was crashing into the ceiling and walls like it was drunk, and I laughed at the poor thing's antics. But Catherine...she reacted bizzarely.
She tracted that thing down and smash it into oblivion. Catherine wasn't the biggest fan of bugs, and should she encounter one, she would only swat it away or go into another room. I had never once seen her do that. The she told me that the bug wasn't ordinary...it was watching us.
The explaination was strange, silly, bordering on paranoia. Actually, no. It was paranoia. But after making sure that the bug was dead that no other insect was crawling around us, she calmed down and resumed our discussion as if nothing had happened. The grip Catherine had on my hand, it was as if she believed that she and she alone could protect me.
Rebecca, Florence, Naomi and Vivian were to be our maids-of-honor, my little brother the best man. My family, Catherine's family, and some friends were invited to the wedding.
The invitations that we had sent out were adorable: it was a single white card, elegant script joyously proclaiming our wedding day, the place, the time, all those little details. Vivian thought that it would be interesting to add in some scents to make it more personal, like gardenia or jasmine. It was a neat idea that Catherine and I liked. We decided that jasmine would work perfectly, and added some glitter in the envelopes for that extra sparkle.
The goings on in our lives were hectic, with the wedding stuff, work, and college. How we managed would have been anyone's guess, but we did it and we did it with pride.
Rebecca (surprise, surprise) got the best report card out of us all. She always did, really. Only one B- in a sea of A's and A+'s. In November of last year she told us that she was seriously considering transfering to Miskatonic University in Massachusettes, and wanted to see if any of us wanted to apply with her. Now, MU is one of the most prestigious universities out there, on par with Harvard and Yale. Someone with Rebecca's smarts would get in without a doubt, but us? It was a 50/50 shot.
Florence was often found in the fitness center after classes, burning off all the stress and any thoughts of doubt, she would say. And when she wasn't getting her cardio in, she was at home writing down business plans for a company that she wants to start. Fürstin is to be her company's name. At first, Florence wanted to work for Vogue, but decided that she could do much better. She always wanted to be a businesswoman, and she wants Naomi to write for her magazine.
Naomi's true love has always been writing. She's been a part of the creative writing club for so long that she may as well be the person who runs it. Since as far back as I can remember she was always writing and reading all these incredible stories. She had written some pretty poems that she submitted to the newspaper often, and had a rough draft of a book series she eventually wanted to get published, but told us that she wanted to also write for a magazine. That's where Florence came in and proposed that Naomi write for her.
Vivian has wanted to make music for the longest time. The stuff she makes now are really catchy and well-made. It's nothing like what the pros do, not yet anyway. She is on our college's radio with her own show, called "Music of the Spheres." It's a hoot and a half listening to her. She hopes that after college she could find someone to help with her music career. She knows that the business is tough, but if anyone could handle it, Vivian would be at the top of the list.
As for Catherine, her grades went down and she dropped out of her beloved home ec club. I feel like a broken record saying this over and over again, but that was totally out of character for her. Yet again, she refused to open up and brushed it off, stating that she just had things on her mind. When she and I were talking about a book we had been reading, there was a stinkbug that had wandered into the kitchen and had begun to fly around obnoxiously. It was crashing into the ceiling and walls like it was drunk, and I laughed at the poor thing's antics. But Catherine...she reacted bizzarely.
She tracted that thing down and smash it into oblivion. Catherine wasn't the biggest fan of bugs, and should she encounter one, she would only swat it away or go into another room. I had never once seen her do that. The she told me that the bug wasn't ordinary...it was watching us.
The explaination was strange, silly, bordering on paranoia. Actually, no. It was paranoia. But after making sure that the bug was dead that no other insect was crawling around us, she calmed down and resumed our discussion as if nothing had happened. The grip Catherine had on my hand, it was as if she believed that she and she alone could protect me.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Happy 22nd, Vivian!
Happy birthday, Vivian! I hope that you have a happy year, and good luck with finishing that electronica album you have been working on.
Haus of Laub is a pretty neat title, if I do say so myself.
Haus of Laub is a pretty neat title, if I do say so myself.
Monday, May 28, 2012
White Out
Months went by, and life continued as normal. Catherine and I proudly wore our engagement rings for the world to see, continuing to make plans and saving up. But she still avoided forests (and any wooded area) and playgrounds like the plague with no real reason.
Sometimes Catherine would not return home for long hours after her shift at work without explaination, and Mr. Moore called more than once to see if she was with me or anyone else, as he could not reach Catherine by phone. But each time she would come home as if nothing happened, confused as to why we were all nervous. She told us that we had absolutely nothing to worry about. One thing you should know about Catherine: she never lied. Ever. So we all believed her.
One cold night we decided to go somewhere nice to eat, since we thought that it would be good to get out of our respective houses. We decided on a new German restaurant that opened up near us.
An old woman, so old we thought she would fall apart at any second, gently grabbed Catherine's sleeve and asked politely if she could have a sip of water. The poor woman was without any money, and she had been thirsty all day. With a smile Catherine gave her the entire water bottle. She drank it down in what seemed like a single gulp. The old woman tossed the bottle into the nearest garbage can and thanked my fiance many, many times as she hobbled away. We never saw that woman again.
That Christmas my family came over to our house to celebrate. Nothing unusual happened at all that night, but I did see Catherine look through the windows once or twice. My gift to her that year was a purple floral headband, her gift to me was a necklace.
The day after a heavy blizzard came in and covered our world with pure white. That was pretty much the sign that the time had come for an epic snowball fight. The roads, however, were far too dangerous for any of my friends to come by, so I instead played with my brother. He won, in case you were wondering.
Later in the week, Catherine texted me to go take a walk with her in the snow, which I of course agreed to. As we walked down the street, we talked about where she had been and what she had been doing. Catherine confessed that she had been looking for an apartment for us to rent out and had been doing research on where we could go for our honeymoon. It was supposed to be a surprise, she said.
That still doesn't explain why she hated forests and playgrounds. And not soon after our walk she began to dislike snow. No matter how much I tried to get her to open up and talk to me about these new fears, she refused. Even when I told her that I wouldn't judge or make rash assumptions. Catherine's parents, when they questioned her, had the same amount of luck as I did. I don't know what else I could've done to ease her fears. If she was nervous about the upcoming wedding, she never said anything. Catherine was never the one to hold feelings in.
Sometimes Catherine would not return home for long hours after her shift at work without explaination, and Mr. Moore called more than once to see if she was with me or anyone else, as he could not reach Catherine by phone. But each time she would come home as if nothing happened, confused as to why we were all nervous. She told us that we had absolutely nothing to worry about. One thing you should know about Catherine: she never lied. Ever. So we all believed her.
One cold night we decided to go somewhere nice to eat, since we thought that it would be good to get out of our respective houses. We decided on a new German restaurant that opened up near us.
An old woman, so old we thought she would fall apart at any second, gently grabbed Catherine's sleeve and asked politely if she could have a sip of water. The poor woman was without any money, and she had been thirsty all day. With a smile Catherine gave her the entire water bottle. She drank it down in what seemed like a single gulp. The old woman tossed the bottle into the nearest garbage can and thanked my fiance many, many times as she hobbled away. We never saw that woman again.
That Christmas my family came over to our house to celebrate. Nothing unusual happened at all that night, but I did see Catherine look through the windows once or twice. My gift to her that year was a purple floral headband, her gift to me was a necklace.
The day after a heavy blizzard came in and covered our world with pure white. That was pretty much the sign that the time had come for an epic snowball fight. The roads, however, were far too dangerous for any of my friends to come by, so I instead played with my brother. He won, in case you were wondering.
Later in the week, Catherine texted me to go take a walk with her in the snow, which I of course agreed to. As we walked down the street, we talked about where she had been and what she had been doing. Catherine confessed that she had been looking for an apartment for us to rent out and had been doing research on where we could go for our honeymoon. It was supposed to be a surprise, she said.
That still doesn't explain why she hated forests and playgrounds. And not soon after our walk she began to dislike snow. No matter how much I tried to get her to open up and talk to me about these new fears, she refused. Even when I told her that I wouldn't judge or make rash assumptions. Catherine's parents, when they questioned her, had the same amount of luck as I did. I don't know what else I could've done to ease her fears. If she was nervous about the upcoming wedding, she never said anything. Catherine was never the one to hold feelings in.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
The Beginning
Everything was going smoothly for the most part. We were saving up money left and right, from Catherine's job working at a waitress and me...well, I was a full time student. No one was hiring, and I had to stick to going to school, since I was doing very, very well in my classes. When I approached Catherine about working part time with her, she said that she could handle it for the time being, but mentioned that me working with her over the summer would be a good idea.
A few months went by, and come the cooler months and we kept what we had to have and scrapping anything superfluous. We decided that going to California to get married wasn't needed; since we had closer alternatives, like Vermont or even Washington DC. So the idea of going to California was discarded.
After much discussion on the topic of surnames, Catherine decided to take on my own, citing that she always thought it was pretty and very romantic. Even better, we thought it would be really neat to put up a YouTube channel under the name of 'Rose Valley' as a video log of our lives together. It would serve as a virtual memory book for all our friends and family.
But...
In all honesty, I can't really pinpoint when things started to go in a strange direction, or how I started to notice. I just did. Suddenly Catherine began to exhibit strange new characteristics, some of them so subtle you wouldn't even notice, no matter how long you had known her. I feel like such a fool for not seeing it all sooner.
I can remember one day where Naomi took us all out to the park woods for some time together, and for her to sketch some trees. Everyone else, including myself, had no problem with it, as we always loved taking long walks along the paths. Catherine, however, stopped dead in her tracks and refused to go inside. She said that her legs hurt from walking around campus and wanted to stay near the playground. So she and I remained on the swings talking about how wonderful out lives with be and what we were going to do. Catherine said she wanted a little playground for our children, which I thought was a cute idea.
Catherine never went into any sort of forest again, not even the place where we walked on our anniversary. She always came up with some excuse to not venture in, and soon she didn't even like playgrounds anymore. But none of these new dislikes were in your face, and she remained my wonderful fiance Catherine.
But she used to love forests...what happened?
A few months went by, and come the cooler months and we kept what we had to have and scrapping anything superfluous. We decided that going to California to get married wasn't needed; since we had closer alternatives, like Vermont or even Washington DC. So the idea of going to California was discarded.
After much discussion on the topic of surnames, Catherine decided to take on my own, citing that she always thought it was pretty and very romantic. Even better, we thought it would be really neat to put up a YouTube channel under the name of 'Rose Valley' as a video log of our lives together. It would serve as a virtual memory book for all our friends and family.
But...
In all honesty, I can't really pinpoint when things started to go in a strange direction, or how I started to notice. I just did. Suddenly Catherine began to exhibit strange new characteristics, some of them so subtle you wouldn't even notice, no matter how long you had known her. I feel like such a fool for not seeing it all sooner.
I can remember one day where Naomi took us all out to the park woods for some time together, and for her to sketch some trees. Everyone else, including myself, had no problem with it, as we always loved taking long walks along the paths. Catherine, however, stopped dead in her tracks and refused to go inside. She said that her legs hurt from walking around campus and wanted to stay near the playground. So she and I remained on the swings talking about how wonderful out lives with be and what we were going to do. Catherine said she wanted a little playground for our children, which I thought was a cute idea.
Catherine never went into any sort of forest again, not even the place where we walked on our anniversary. She always came up with some excuse to not venture in, and soon she didn't even like playgrounds anymore. But none of these new dislikes were in your face, and she remained my wonderful fiance Catherine.
But she used to love forests...what happened?
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Announcing
The first people we told were our friends and parents, who were over the moon. But for our extended family, we wanted to surprise them. At a get together that my aunt had for my side of the family, we decided to tell them through being sutble and letting them find out for themselves. I used my left hand to hand out an apple to my Aunt Geralyn, and she let out a scream of joy. My family was informed, and I will be honest: there were some mixed responses with the announcement. Some were happy while other were doubtful that we would be able to do it.
Catherine's family was next, and she told them the same way I did at her uncle's birthday party; she extended her left hand to get some ambrosia salad, and they all knew. They were very, very excited for the both of us. However, her cousin Bradley took her aside and told her that us getting married here and now wouldn't be possible, unless we hightail it to California.
Screw the government. We were going to be married, law and society be damned.
We already had designs for our wedding gowns, courtesy of Naomi, who drew them up. We picked a date in June 2012, two years from then, in which we would invite our dear friends and family members to. The colors we were to use were light pink and lavender, and the flowers were to be roses and lilacs. The wedding would be wonderful, sunny, a dream come true.
...I remember now. Things started to go downhill from here.
Catherine's family was next, and she told them the same way I did at her uncle's birthday party; she extended her left hand to get some ambrosia salad, and they all knew. They were very, very excited for the both of us. However, her cousin Bradley took her aside and told her that us getting married here and now wouldn't be possible, unless we hightail it to California.
Screw the government. We were going to be married, law and society be damned.
We already had designs for our wedding gowns, courtesy of Naomi, who drew them up. We picked a date in June 2012, two years from then, in which we would invite our dear friends and family members to. The colors we were to use were light pink and lavender, and the flowers were to be roses and lilacs. The wedding would be wonderful, sunny, a dream come true.
...I remember now. Things started to go downhill from here.
Friday, May 11, 2012
22 Years Old
Happy birthday to me. We are planning on going out tonight to celebrate, and maybe I will have a drink or so. That and staring at my phone hoping to God above me that Catherine might call or text. I don't know why I keep fantasizing about that. It's been seven months since she left and there has been nothing but silence on her end. I don't know where she is and I don't even know if she is alive.
Catherine, if you are out there, please let me know. I love you.
Catherine, if you are out there, please let me know. I love you.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
The Proposal
On May 20, 2010, I came home from grocery shopping not feeling well at all. I don't know if I was coming down with a cold or just had a bad head and body ache, but it was amazingly draining. Catherine already was at my house waiting for me, reading a book on Celtic folklore, a favorite subject of hers, to pass the time. She noticed my condition and told me to get some rest.
I went upstairs, got into my sleepwear, and flopped under the covers to rest. Catherine was downstairs, doing Heaven knows what in the kitchen. My first guess was that she was cleaning up, or maybe taking after Rebecca and reorganizing things to look better. I closed my eyes and allowed a sweet but shallow slumber to take me.
A while later Catherine knocked on my door, waited until I asked her to come in, and saw her with a freshly baked butter cake. Catherine told me that she made it to help cheer me up, which I desperately needed. As she handed me the fork and was about to dig in, I saw a single object that would change my life: planted in the middle for me to see, was a gold ring with three small clear stones in them.
She took my hand and said those special four words, "Will you marry me?"
All too happily, I accepted.
I'm still wearing that ring...and right now, I am hoping so is Catherine, wherever she is.
I went upstairs, got into my sleepwear, and flopped under the covers to rest. Catherine was downstairs, doing Heaven knows what in the kitchen. My first guess was that she was cleaning up, or maybe taking after Rebecca and reorganizing things to look better. I closed my eyes and allowed a sweet but shallow slumber to take me.
A while later Catherine knocked on my door, waited until I asked her to come in, and saw her with a freshly baked butter cake. Catherine told me that she made it to help cheer me up, which I desperately needed. As she handed me the fork and was about to dig in, I saw a single object that would change my life: planted in the middle for me to see, was a gold ring with three small clear stones in them.
She took my hand and said those special four words, "Will you marry me?"
All too happily, I accepted.
I'm still wearing that ring...and right now, I am hoping so is Catherine, wherever she is.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Anniversaries
Our first anniversary wasn't anything special; we stayed at her house, ate ice cream and watched a few movies. I don't care what anyone says: Moulin Rouge was one of the best movies ever made. In inspired Catherine to make a themed restaurant based on the actually place itself. People would have come around from everywhere just to go there, had she done it.
Our second anniversary we spent with our friends. Music, dancing, movies, even baking treats for us to enjoy now and later. We played some video games, too. So in the end it was a pretty sweet party.
Our third was essential us taking a walk through these really nice woods, not the creepy ones near my old house, from which I long since moved out of. It was these other woods, in a park that we played in when were were little girls. It was the afternoon, and we were walking hand in had on a path that we just found. It was very romantic. Along the way, a beautiful deer scampered right past us and into another part of the forest. We just stood there and marveled at our luck to see that shy an animal that close. As we walked further, a fox scurried across our path and seemingly in the same direction of the deer.
I nudged Catherine and said, "They're all out for our anniversary." She laughed and we kept walking. Finally, Near the end of the path, we saw a crow pecking at something we couldn't see. As we got closer and closer, the crow stopped what it was doing and stared us down. Even as we walked past it, it didn't move, just glared at us. When it deemed us far enough, the crow continued its pecking. Odd.
We went back to my house and talked about the animals, then went out to a Japanese restaurant. The girls mentioned that it was beyond strange, bordering on eerie. Naomi put it best: "spooky creepy."
Our other anniversaries weren't anything special; just us being together and exchanging presents. I got her a lavendar diary one year, since that is her favorite color and she needed it. She got me a really pretty rose brooch, which I love to death. We did love doting on each other.
Our second anniversary we spent with our friends. Music, dancing, movies, even baking treats for us to enjoy now and later. We played some video games, too. So in the end it was a pretty sweet party.
Our third was essential us taking a walk through these really nice woods, not the creepy ones near my old house, from which I long since moved out of. It was these other woods, in a park that we played in when were were little girls. It was the afternoon, and we were walking hand in had on a path that we just found. It was very romantic. Along the way, a beautiful deer scampered right past us and into another part of the forest. We just stood there and marveled at our luck to see that shy an animal that close. As we walked further, a fox scurried across our path and seemingly in the same direction of the deer.
I nudged Catherine and said, "They're all out for our anniversary." She laughed and we kept walking. Finally, Near the end of the path, we saw a crow pecking at something we couldn't see. As we got closer and closer, the crow stopped what it was doing and stared us down. Even as we walked past it, it didn't move, just glared at us. When it deemed us far enough, the crow continued its pecking. Odd.
We went back to my house and talked about the animals, then went out to a Japanese restaurant. The girls mentioned that it was beyond strange, bordering on eerie. Naomi put it best: "spooky creepy."
Our other anniversaries weren't anything special; just us being together and exchanging presents. I got her a lavendar diary one year, since that is her favorite color and she needed it. She got me a really pretty rose brooch, which I love to death. We did love doting on each other.
Friday, May 4, 2012
The Start of Our Relationship and the People Who Did(n't) Like It.
You couldn't find a happier couple on the planet, I will tell you that. Catherine and I complemented each other so well, as if we were made for one another.
We never fought; just had debates and minor misundersandings. Never once did we jump to conclusions or fly off the handle and pointed fingers. All we did was sit and talk. That was one of our strong points: our willingness to find a middle ground. And once everything was sorted out, we made sure to learn from what we had just discussed.
I remember our first date at a nice restaurant. Okay, it was a pizza joint. We sat down at our table and ordered some drinks, holding hands and just talking. Everything was going fine until a couple next to us felt uncomfortable and demanded that they have their table changed. Catherine and I weren't doing anything over the top, mind you. We weren't making out right there and then, just holding hands on the table and saying sweet things. The looks those two gave us were the nastiest we have ever gotten. Then I heard the woman say that we were (you guessed it!) going to burn for the sin of sodomy. I kid you all not. I wish to God almighty above us all that I was joking. It didn't ruin our night, but it made us think. For a while we theorized about homophobia, what the root of it is and why it prevails.
So our date wsn't a total bust.
At school we kept our relationship under wraps; to anyone else we were just the best of friends. It was a smart move on our part, really; kids can be very cruel. But no matter how well you think you are keeping a secret, a few people figure it out. I should have expected it, really. But nothing prepares you for the day that you're called a bunch of derogatory names to your face. It hurt, it really did. Luckily for us, we had a support system: our friends and family. Without them, I don't think we would have survived it all. As we all went from grade to grade, they found better things to do with their time than pick on people. I ddin't know how much longer I had to take being called a dyke for the 1,000,000,000 time.
But as you know, adversity either makes or breaks people and their relationships. All of that made us stronger people. I can take on anything after that ordeal.
The six of us made such a wonderful group, bound together tighter than sisters. From study sessions to just plain goofing off, there was no other people I would rather be with. No one at all.
We never fought; just had debates and minor misundersandings. Never once did we jump to conclusions or fly off the handle and pointed fingers. All we did was sit and talk. That was one of our strong points: our willingness to find a middle ground. And once everything was sorted out, we made sure to learn from what we had just discussed.
I remember our first date at a nice restaurant. Okay, it was a pizza joint. We sat down at our table and ordered some drinks, holding hands and just talking. Everything was going fine until a couple next to us felt uncomfortable and demanded that they have their table changed. Catherine and I weren't doing anything over the top, mind you. We weren't making out right there and then, just holding hands on the table and saying sweet things. The looks those two gave us were the nastiest we have ever gotten. Then I heard the woman say that we were (you guessed it!) going to burn for the sin of sodomy. I kid you all not. I wish to God almighty above us all that I was joking. It didn't ruin our night, but it made us think. For a while we theorized about homophobia, what the root of it is and why it prevails.
So our date wsn't a total bust.
At school we kept our relationship under wraps; to anyone else we were just the best of friends. It was a smart move on our part, really; kids can be very cruel. But no matter how well you think you are keeping a secret, a few people figure it out. I should have expected it, really. But nothing prepares you for the day that you're called a bunch of derogatory names to your face. It hurt, it really did. Luckily for us, we had a support system: our friends and family. Without them, I don't think we would have survived it all. As we all went from grade to grade, they found better things to do with their time than pick on people. I ddin't know how much longer I had to take being called a dyke for the 1,000,000,000 time.
But as you know, adversity either makes or breaks people and their relationships. All of that made us stronger people. I can take on anything after that ordeal.
The six of us made such a wonderful group, bound together tighter than sisters. From study sessions to just plain goofing off, there was no other people I would rather be with. No one at all.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Realizations
So as you can see, my schooling and life was ordinary, nothing exceptional. Elementary school was very good, full of fun activities and teachers that were enthusiastic about teaching. Middle school was also very good. A few pitfalls here and there, but nothing I couldn't pick myself up from.
By the time I reached middle school I knew for a fact that I was different. I never found myself attracted to any boys, and most of my time was spent with my friends. Friday and Saturday nights were typically either me studying or hanging out with my friends. I didn't mind; honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. That's not to say I wasn't asked out by some of my male friends. I politely declined all of them.
The moment of truth came after a study session with me and Catherine. For a while I had a crush on her, but I didn't know if she would reciprocate. If she didn't, then I was more than content to stay her friend. I never heard her remark about boys, or even other girls for that matter.
Were were on the couch, holding hands and watching a movie. It was a film adaptation of a short horror novella, the name if which I can't remember. At some point during the movie, we turned to each other and...well, we kissed. After the first time, we kissed often throughout the movie. After she left to go home, I realized that I was indeed a lesbian. I knew that it wasn't fleeing; it was here to stay. It was who I was.
The first people I told were my friends, who were completely supportive of me. Vivian told me to go pursue my feelings and not hold back, even for a moment.
However, I waited a bit to tell my parents. I knew that they would've probably told me that I was too young to think like that. I was only 13-14 years old at the time. That reaction was completely understandable.
And when I finally did tell them? They were so chill and so accepting. No judgement, no shaming. Just accepting me for who I was. Even my little brother Tommy didn't give me any hell. He just hugged me and said that it was okay. I was so happy. Catherine's mother and father already knew, and had long accepted her as well. So luckily for us, there was no drama. Well, except for my grandmother on my dad's side. She said that I was going to hell if I didn't change my ways. It wasn't until I started college that she relented. I still don't think she likes me, though.
Catherine and I talked for a long time about our feelings, and the summer was filled with us hanging out, almost always together. Were weren't 'dating' in the traditional sense just yet. Come to think of it, I don't know why we waited so long. We both knew what we wanted, but maybe it was just us celebrating our final summer as only 'best friends'. But come 9th grade, Catherine and I were officially official.
Just talking about this makes me cry. I miss her so badly. I wish I could've done something. But now, I think it's just too late.
By the time I reached middle school I knew for a fact that I was different. I never found myself attracted to any boys, and most of my time was spent with my friends. Friday and Saturday nights were typically either me studying or hanging out with my friends. I didn't mind; honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. That's not to say I wasn't asked out by some of my male friends. I politely declined all of them.
The moment of truth came after a study session with me and Catherine. For a while I had a crush on her, but I didn't know if she would reciprocate. If she didn't, then I was more than content to stay her friend. I never heard her remark about boys, or even other girls for that matter.
Were were on the couch, holding hands and watching a movie. It was a film adaptation of a short horror novella, the name if which I can't remember. At some point during the movie, we turned to each other and...well, we kissed. After the first time, we kissed often throughout the movie. After she left to go home, I realized that I was indeed a lesbian. I knew that it wasn't fleeing; it was here to stay. It was who I was.
The first people I told were my friends, who were completely supportive of me. Vivian told me to go pursue my feelings and not hold back, even for a moment.
However, I waited a bit to tell my parents. I knew that they would've probably told me that I was too young to think like that. I was only 13-14 years old at the time. That reaction was completely understandable.
And when I finally did tell them? They were so chill and so accepting. No judgement, no shaming. Just accepting me for who I was. Even my little brother Tommy didn't give me any hell. He just hugged me and said that it was okay. I was so happy. Catherine's mother and father already knew, and had long accepted her as well. So luckily for us, there was no drama. Well, except for my grandmother on my dad's side. She said that I was going to hell if I didn't change my ways. It wasn't until I started college that she relented. I still don't think she likes me, though.
Catherine and I talked for a long time about our feelings, and the summer was filled with us hanging out, almost always together. Were weren't 'dating' in the traditional sense just yet. Come to think of it, I don't know why we waited so long. We both knew what we wanted, but maybe it was just us celebrating our final summer as only 'best friends'. But come 9th grade, Catherine and I were officially official.
Just talking about this makes me cry. I miss her so badly. I wish I could've done something. But now, I think it's just too late.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Of Friends, Forests and Disney
I left off last post talking about how I met Catherine and my friends. I remember one day, when we were all taking a walk in one of the parks near my old house I mentioned offhandedly how I wanted to be pretty, maybe try and put brightly colored ribbons in my hair. Catherine exclaimed, "Oh, so that's what you've been up to. I won't let you get popular with the boys! You're mine, Ellie! Mine mine mine!" and playfully chased me around until she grabbed me, holding me very tightly as if that would keep me there forever. We all laughed and thought it very funny.
I remember that along the rocky path we always walked on there was a forest at the end of it. It was really, really spooky, but Florence said that she wasn't afraid and tried to walk in one or twice. She's bravest of us all. Rebecca would hold her back and say that they shouldn't. Flo would always ask why, and Becca would say that we could get lost, or something along the lines of that. That's Rebecca for you. Stopping people from making bad or rash decisions. I think that Florence went in on a dare a few days later, but she either saw or heard something and ran out. We didn't blame her; those woods were creepy as hell.
Catherine once told me that she would only be comfortable going into those woods if I came with her. I agreed, and we tried going in by ourselves. We never did. It was just too unnerving. There were no birdsongs or rustling of little animals. Just pure silence. And even on the warmest, brightest days that forest was dark and cool. Something about it didn't seem right.
Back in the days of the Disney Renaissance, the girls and I would marathon through the ones on VHS and come up with stories all our own. Some of them were stories about how, through that dark forest, there was Beast's castle or maybe Sleeping Beauty being guarded by thorns. Others were about the Disney Princesses meeting and trotting into another tale. Maybe ones with Aurora fighting her way out of the dream world Maleficent put her in, or Snow White and Cinderella having parties with the dwarves and animals. We had so many stories going on that I can't possibly remember them all, which I wish I did. Memory is a strange thing.
I remember that along the rocky path we always walked on there was a forest at the end of it. It was really, really spooky, but Florence said that she wasn't afraid and tried to walk in one or twice. She's bravest of us all. Rebecca would hold her back and say that they shouldn't. Flo would always ask why, and Becca would say that we could get lost, or something along the lines of that. That's Rebecca for you. Stopping people from making bad or rash decisions. I think that Florence went in on a dare a few days later, but she either saw or heard something and ran out. We didn't blame her; those woods were creepy as hell.
Catherine once told me that she would only be comfortable going into those woods if I came with her. I agreed, and we tried going in by ourselves. We never did. It was just too unnerving. There were no birdsongs or rustling of little animals. Just pure silence. And even on the warmest, brightest days that forest was dark and cool. Something about it didn't seem right.
Back in the days of the Disney Renaissance, the girls and I would marathon through the ones on VHS and come up with stories all our own. Some of them were stories about how, through that dark forest, there was Beast's castle or maybe Sleeping Beauty being guarded by thorns. Others were about the Disney Princesses meeting and trotting into another tale. Maybe ones with Aurora fighting her way out of the dream world Maleficent put her in, or Snow White and Cinderella having parties with the dwarves and animals. We had so many stories going on that I can't possibly remember them all, which I wish I did. Memory is a strange thing.
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