I've been gone for a while, I know. I've been wondering if I should even keep blogging about this...thing and what it's doing to me and everyone around me. The doctor won't listen to me, the police won't listen to me, I feel like I'm going insane.
Maybe that's what it wants.
But I won't let it win. Florence's birthday is soon, and I'm not going to be a coward.
Showing posts with label fear dubh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear dubh. Show all posts
Friday, April 17, 2015
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Christmas Day II
There was a sudden banging sound that came from the other room in the basement. We journeyed into the game room, and I realized that it was coming from the crawlspace.
I remember just when the house was bought I used to go in there for fun until I cut myself on a nail. It was not a fun experience, and since then I hadn't returned.
I wish he could have ignored it. I wish I could have told my parents. I wish I could have done anything other than go in.
But if it meant their wrath focused on me and not the people I loved, then so be it. It used my nails to pry open the long shut door and carefully opened it.
There was no one inside, but there was a small chest fixed with four locks.
I knew what they wanted us to do. I wasn't stupid. But even if I left it here it would still have found a way to us. I picked it up and brought it into the center of the room. My girls all looked more than just a little perturbed.
"Dude, seriously. I'm getting freaked out." Vivian tried to laugh through her fear with little success.
Naomi looked at her key and then at the chest. She said, "Hey, my key might fit this lock."
And it did. With one turn of the key the lock fell to the ground. Only three to go. I was almost helpless as each lock was freed from the chest.
"Did you plan this at all?" Naomi looked at me, curious to see my answer. I shook my head. I slid the chest ajar and found that it housed a rat skull resting comfortably on an old pocket watch. Rebecca shuddered at the sight while Florence fearlessly reached in and inspected them. As her fingers moved over the skull it cracked and turned to dust within seconds.
The pocket watch was in perfect working condition, yes, but the arms moved in the wrong direction--backwards. I held it in the palm of my hand...and then it stopped.
That's when we heard the sound of rats in the walls. The squeaking and scratching was seemingly everywhere.
The game room door slammed shut without anyone prompting it, trapping us. The lights went out, and though we were grown adults, we screamed.
The door slowly, ever so slowly creaked open. The light that came out was sterile, harsh, and I hesitated to even go near it.
But I did. I looked outside and saw that we had transported into a silent winter tundra. We were all so confused and frightened, but I saw no other way out than through. The snowflakes were thick and heavy and came down at a steady pace.
"This is impossible," Rebecca murmured. "Christ Almighty, what is going on?!"
"I don't know...I honestly don't know." I reached over and held her trembling hands. This all went against the reality she so cherished--she was probably holding back a nervous breakdown. I looked back to the silent playroom and saw that everything was beginning to rot and rust away.
The only way out was through.
We ran into the snow as the room fell to pieces, crumbling in on itself as we watched helplessly. We were stranded in a whiteout, so cold and so frightened.
Naomi gasped out, "Elizabeth! What's happening?! What was that?! Why is this--how is this--what is going on?!"
"I don't know! I just don't!" I screamed it out louder than I should have. "But this is kind of what happened on Halloween."
"Are you serious?!" Florence blurted out.
"Yeah, but this...this is worse. So much worse. I don't even know what it wants. Last time they demanded that I leave before midnight or everyone dies."
They all believed now. I wish to God they didn't. I looked around and saw nothing but grey clouds and snow as far as the eye could see. The farther we walked the worse the weather became.
And then there was an icy wind that seemed to blow right through us, the cold chilling the tips of our hair and fingers.
When I opened my eyes I saw a man, dressed all in black and a Venetian mask concealing his face (a patch covered the right eye), appeared before us. He extended his gloved right hand, as if asking to dance. We backed away from him.
Behind the man was the Fear Dubh, as black as the world around us was white. Its arms were like a gnarled, diseased ridden tree. The man still held out his hand.
In a split second I became overridden with anger. Here they were--toying not only with me, but with my dearest friends. I screamed out curse after curse, demanding that they stay away from me and the people I loved. I felt my girls' arms struggling to drag me back, but I didn't relent.
Looking back it was probably so stupid of me to even try to challenge them. There was a blinding flash of white, then nothing.
The next thing I knew I was in the woods near my once. Again. Flat on my back and my Christmas dress gone from my body (the shoes, however, were left), I laid there for a few minutes to try and process what just happened. Outside of the now functional pocket watch, there wasn't anything cryptic or useful on me or around me.
With as much dignity as I could muster, I made my way out of the woods and began the slow trek back to my house. Along the way I worried sick over my friends, my girls--where they were, if they were okay.
The rest of my family was asleep when I unlocked the front door (thank god for the spare key under the happy Santa statue). The first place I went to was the basement, and much to both my confusion and relief, it was as if nothing had happened.
The nutcracker was gone as was the chest, both of them nowhere to be seen. I was happy I would hopefully never have to see either of them again.
Much later my parents interrogated me on where I went last night and why we all left. They were fuming, which was more than understandable. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I made up a story about how we all took long walk which ended with us getting lost. I don't think they bought it.
I'm happy to say that all four of them are fine. They were teleported to odd places around their homes (Florence in an old fire pit, Naomi in a pool, Vivian in a tree, and Rebecca in her garden). It's hard to laugh about it, since it was so terrifying, but I'm scared of what else is going to happen.
I remember just when the house was bought I used to go in there for fun until I cut myself on a nail. It was not a fun experience, and since then I hadn't returned.
I wish he could have ignored it. I wish I could have told my parents. I wish I could have done anything other than go in.
But if it meant their wrath focused on me and not the people I loved, then so be it. It used my nails to pry open the long shut door and carefully opened it.
There was no one inside, but there was a small chest fixed with four locks.
I knew what they wanted us to do. I wasn't stupid. But even if I left it here it would still have found a way to us. I picked it up and brought it into the center of the room. My girls all looked more than just a little perturbed.
"Dude, seriously. I'm getting freaked out." Vivian tried to laugh through her fear with little success.
Naomi looked at her key and then at the chest. She said, "Hey, my key might fit this lock."
And it did. With one turn of the key the lock fell to the ground. Only three to go. I was almost helpless as each lock was freed from the chest.
"Did you plan this at all?" Naomi looked at me, curious to see my answer. I shook my head. I slid the chest ajar and found that it housed a rat skull resting comfortably on an old pocket watch. Rebecca shuddered at the sight while Florence fearlessly reached in and inspected them. As her fingers moved over the skull it cracked and turned to dust within seconds.
The pocket watch was in perfect working condition, yes, but the arms moved in the wrong direction--backwards. I held it in the palm of my hand...and then it stopped.
That's when we heard the sound of rats in the walls. The squeaking and scratching was seemingly everywhere.
The game room door slammed shut without anyone prompting it, trapping us. The lights went out, and though we were grown adults, we screamed.
The door slowly, ever so slowly creaked open. The light that came out was sterile, harsh, and I hesitated to even go near it.
But I did. I looked outside and saw that we had transported into a silent winter tundra. We were all so confused and frightened, but I saw no other way out than through. The snowflakes were thick and heavy and came down at a steady pace.
"This is impossible," Rebecca murmured. "Christ Almighty, what is going on?!"
"I don't know...I honestly don't know." I reached over and held her trembling hands. This all went against the reality she so cherished--she was probably holding back a nervous breakdown. I looked back to the silent playroom and saw that everything was beginning to rot and rust away.
The only way out was through.
We ran into the snow as the room fell to pieces, crumbling in on itself as we watched helplessly. We were stranded in a whiteout, so cold and so frightened.
Naomi gasped out, "Elizabeth! What's happening?! What was that?! Why is this--how is this--what is going on?!"
"I don't know! I just don't!" I screamed it out louder than I should have. "But this is kind of what happened on Halloween."
"Are you serious?!" Florence blurted out.
"Yeah, but this...this is worse. So much worse. I don't even know what it wants. Last time they demanded that I leave before midnight or everyone dies."
They all believed now. I wish to God they didn't. I looked around and saw nothing but grey clouds and snow as far as the eye could see. The farther we walked the worse the weather became.
And then there was an icy wind that seemed to blow right through us, the cold chilling the tips of our hair and fingers.
When I opened my eyes I saw a man, dressed all in black and a Venetian mask concealing his face (a patch covered the right eye), appeared before us. He extended his gloved right hand, as if asking to dance. We backed away from him.
Behind the man was the Fear Dubh, as black as the world around us was white. Its arms were like a gnarled, diseased ridden tree. The man still held out his hand.
In a split second I became overridden with anger. Here they were--toying not only with me, but with my dearest friends. I screamed out curse after curse, demanding that they stay away from me and the people I loved. I felt my girls' arms struggling to drag me back, but I didn't relent.
Looking back it was probably so stupid of me to even try to challenge them. There was a blinding flash of white, then nothing.
The next thing I knew I was in the woods near my once. Again. Flat on my back and my Christmas dress gone from my body (the shoes, however, were left), I laid there for a few minutes to try and process what just happened. Outside of the now functional pocket watch, there wasn't anything cryptic or useful on me or around me.
With as much dignity as I could muster, I made my way out of the woods and began the slow trek back to my house. Along the way I worried sick over my friends, my girls--where they were, if they were okay.
The rest of my family was asleep when I unlocked the front door (thank god for the spare key under the happy Santa statue). The first place I went to was the basement, and much to both my confusion and relief, it was as if nothing had happened.
The nutcracker was gone as was the chest, both of them nowhere to be seen. I was happy I would hopefully never have to see either of them again.
Much later my parents interrogated me on where I went last night and why we all left. They were fuming, which was more than understandable. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. I made up a story about how we all took long walk which ended with us getting lost. I don't think they bought it.
I'm happy to say that all four of them are fine. They were teleported to odd places around their homes (Florence in an old fire pit, Naomi in a pool, Vivian in a tree, and Rebecca in her garden). It's hard to laugh about it, since it was so terrifying, but I'm scared of what else is going to happen.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Unlocking Part 2
I stared dumbfounded, the pieces of the DVD still in my shaking hand. I wondered if I should run, but where could I go? Just turn and bolt and hope for the best? I swallowed heavily and began to slowly step backwards.
The woman with the fish scale veil scoffed haughtily, "Just look at her. She's filthy."
I was suddenly brought to my knees, as if someone had kicked my legs out from under me and. I looked up and saw that they were now mere inches in front of me and my heart could have stopped from fear. Their scent...it was not in the least unpleasant, but it was so heady and rich my nose began to burn. I couldn't describe to you how elegant their dresses or how detailed their masks--they were beautiful in an unnerving, terrifying way.
In all of three of their right hands they clutched large, plain jugs. Simultaneously they all tipped them sideways, directly above me, and I was drenched in a seemingly unending downpour of water.
I blinked and they were gone. The trees, the dirt, the sky above me, too, all melted away and was replaced with a dark basement. I was soaked to the bone, so confused and frightened I thought I was going to
As I found my footing, I turned around to see a set of stairs and an opened basement door. One final time I looked around at what was once a vast forest and--
I saw it.
Standing there, in the corner, head cocked to the side slightly. Its piercing, eyeless gaze cut through me like nothing ever has and ever will again. I did not scream.
I ran. I ran and it followed. I felt it upon my spine and in the wind that blew my hair. I threw open the door and raced out of the house in a mindless panic.
This proved to be foolish. I made it about five steps before I slipped...and when I hit the ground I was in the grove of trees near my house.
My shoes were now gone, only the socks remained. Nothing else was missing, for which I was thankful for. But in what could only be described as bizarre, the three pieces of the DVD fused into a single, immaculate disk.
I walked out of the grove in a daze, still wet, still shaken, but I had gotten what I needed to get. I suppose. My poor mother wondered what happened and I made up a story about falling into a pool. The shoes I was honest about: someone stole them right off of my own feet. I threw my clothes off in the bathroom and took a long hot shower. My car was most likely still near the house and I would have had to go back and get it. Eventually I did, and I was proud of myself for not fainting when I saw a face in one of the top floor windows. Since then I've been reluctant to go places, even with my girls.
The DVD sits on my desk and I wonder when I'm going to find the courage to play it.
The woman with the fish scale veil scoffed haughtily, "Just look at her. She's filthy."
I was suddenly brought to my knees, as if someone had kicked my legs out from under me and. I looked up and saw that they were now mere inches in front of me and my heart could have stopped from fear. Their scent...it was not in the least unpleasant, but it was so heady and rich my nose began to burn. I couldn't describe to you how elegant their dresses or how detailed their masks--they were beautiful in an unnerving, terrifying way.
In all of three of their right hands they clutched large, plain jugs. Simultaneously they all tipped them sideways, directly above me, and I was drenched in a seemingly unending downpour of water.
I blinked and they were gone. The trees, the dirt, the sky above me, too, all melted away and was replaced with a dark basement. I was soaked to the bone, so confused and frightened I thought I was going to
As I found my footing, I turned around to see a set of stairs and an opened basement door. One final time I looked around at what was once a vast forest and--
I saw it.
Standing there, in the corner, head cocked to the side slightly. Its piercing, eyeless gaze cut through me like nothing ever has and ever will again. I did not scream.
I ran. I ran and it followed. I felt it upon my spine and in the wind that blew my hair. I threw open the door and raced out of the house in a mindless panic.
This proved to be foolish. I made it about five steps before I slipped...and when I hit the ground I was in the grove of trees near my house.
My shoes were now gone, only the socks remained. Nothing else was missing, for which I was thankful for. But in what could only be described as bizarre, the three pieces of the DVD fused into a single, immaculate disk.
I walked out of the grove in a daze, still wet, still shaken, but I had gotten what I needed to get. I suppose. My poor mother wondered what happened and I made up a story about falling into a pool. The shoes I was honest about: someone stole them right off of my own feet. I threw my clothes off in the bathroom and took a long hot shower. My car was most likely still near the house and I would have had to go back and get it. Eventually I did, and I was proud of myself for not fainting when I saw a face in one of the top floor windows. Since then I've been reluctant to go places, even with my girls.
The DVD sits on my desk and I wonder when I'm going to find the courage to play it.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Happy Birthday, Florence
Hey, I hope you had a wonderful day! Did you like the manga we got for you? We all pitched in and got it for you special.
I do want to let you know that I've been feeling better since the last time it rained. How many days ago was it, again? Can't remember, but I do recall the feeling of dread mixed with the smell of damp earth.
I had been running errands for my mom and I was on the phone with Florence at the time. She gushed over how much she loved the new Captain America move, how she had seen it three times already and wanted us to see it, too.
I shuffled the bags into the backseat of my car when I saw it again. Like the times before, it didn't move but stood at a reasonable distance away from me. I hastily ended the call, but not before telling Florence to keep her phone nearby just in case. It was then that the rain became a downpour, the raindrops drenching my hair and running into my face, forming a constellation on my long lashes.
Could this thing control weather?
Like a child I snuck into my car and waited until the heavy rain lightened. The radio had been reduced to static; no matter which channel I tuned to it was all the same white noise. I flipped to channel 004 when I heard something...something I can't describe.
What I can formulate was it sounded like a chant--no, it was a chant. Through the static I swore I heard voices crying out eye-ah, eye-ah and then more things I couldn't decipher. I listened closer, and this is what I got:
Eye-ah ???, hear our voice
???, soul and voice of darkness
??? alal, hear our voice
Take our ??? we may hear you
Take our ??? so we may se you
I was chilled to the bone. I turned the car off and for a few blissful minutes all was silent except for the rain.
But that was ruined when I looked through windshield...it was standing only nine feet away from me. I could do nothing but stare in horror. I did not scream; I couldn't scream. The fear had silenced me.
I shut my eyes tight and cried, my heart beating like a drum in my chest and the sickening feeling that it was leering at me. Please go away, please go away, please go away...!!
The rain stopped completely; the only evidence of it was the dark clouds and the wet surfaces. I hesitated to start the car, but through the anxiety I found it in me to do so. The radio was back to normal and I drove home with the alternative rock station blaring.
I called Florence when I pulled into the driveway, hands still shaking.
"Flo...?"
"Ellie? Holy shit, are you alright?"
"I...Flo, listen. I don't--I think that I...something almost jumped me."
"What did he look like?" she snarled out protectively, "Who tried to hurt you? Did he have a knife or anything?"
"No! He--it didn't have anything." Just the possible power over nature. "He was just really scary looking and I didn't feel safe. I hid in my car and he...lost interest, I suppose. I'm home now, though! And feeling much better now that I'm talking to you." That wasn't a lie. The sun had started to peek through the clouds and Florence's voice eased my nerves.
She sighed, "All right then. If anyone tries to fuck with you, just call me and I'll burn them alive."
"I love you too, Florence."
"I'm serious."
"I know, I know," it felt good to laugh out the words, and after some minor small talk the call ended.
I really am feeling so much better...I just don't want it to rain anytime soon.
I do want to let you know that I've been feeling better since the last time it rained. How many days ago was it, again? Can't remember, but I do recall the feeling of dread mixed with the smell of damp earth.
I had been running errands for my mom and I was on the phone with Florence at the time. She gushed over how much she loved the new Captain America move, how she had seen it three times already and wanted us to see it, too.
I shuffled the bags into the backseat of my car when I saw it again. Like the times before, it didn't move but stood at a reasonable distance away from me. I hastily ended the call, but not before telling Florence to keep her phone nearby just in case. It was then that the rain became a downpour, the raindrops drenching my hair and running into my face, forming a constellation on my long lashes.
Could this thing control weather?
Like a child I snuck into my car and waited until the heavy rain lightened. The radio had been reduced to static; no matter which channel I tuned to it was all the same white noise. I flipped to channel 004 when I heard something...something I can't describe.
What I can formulate was it sounded like a chant--no, it was a chant. Through the static I swore I heard voices crying out eye-ah, eye-ah and then more things I couldn't decipher. I listened closer, and this is what I got:
Eye-ah ???, hear our voice
???, soul and voice of darkness
??? alal, hear our voice
Take our ??? we may hear you
Take our ??? so we may se you
I was chilled to the bone. I turned the car off and for a few blissful minutes all was silent except for the rain.
But that was ruined when I looked through windshield...it was standing only nine feet away from me. I could do nothing but stare in horror. I did not scream; I couldn't scream. The fear had silenced me.
I shut my eyes tight and cried, my heart beating like a drum in my chest and the sickening feeling that it was leering at me. Please go away, please go away, please go away...!!
The rain stopped completely; the only evidence of it was the dark clouds and the wet surfaces. I hesitated to start the car, but through the anxiety I found it in me to do so. The radio was back to normal and I drove home with the alternative rock station blaring.
I called Florence when I pulled into the driveway, hands still shaking.
"Flo...?"
"Ellie? Holy shit, are you alright?"
"I...Flo, listen. I don't--I think that I...something almost jumped me."
"What did he look like?" she snarled out protectively, "Who tried to hurt you? Did he have a knife or anything?"
"No! He--it didn't have anything." Just the possible power over nature. "He was just really scary looking and I didn't feel safe. I hid in my car and he...lost interest, I suppose. I'm home now, though! And feeling much better now that I'm talking to you." That wasn't a lie. The sun had started to peek through the clouds and Florence's voice eased my nerves.
She sighed, "All right then. If anyone tries to fuck with you, just call me and I'll burn them alive."
"I love you too, Florence."
"I'm serious."
"I know, I know," it felt good to laugh out the words, and after some minor small talk the call ended.
I really am feeling so much better...I just don't want it to rain anytime soon.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
The Test
Eight days later I sat back in Dr. Frey's office. Instead of my usual, comfy seat I was led to a plain wooden chair, old and worn, which audibly creaked when I sat. He had me place my hands palm down on the small desk before me and walked away, pulling out a small sheet of paper.
"Now, Elizabeth, I want you to clear your mind completely. If you like you can close your eyes. I'm going to read you a list of words and you will tell me what you associate them with. Is this alright?"
I nodded, "Yeah, it is."
He leaned back into his chair, stopwatch in hand and paper in the other. "Good. Alright, first word: apple."
I said, "Pie."
"Doll," he murmured.
"Porcelain."
"Wolf."
"Wild."
"King."
"Crown."
"Darkness."
"Light."
"Baby."
"Family."
"Sex."
"...family..." my fingers curled against the cool desk. Suddenly I had a rush of memories of Catherine with me, bare breasted in the moonlight as we spoke of our hopes and dreams. "Yeah, family."
Dr. Frey 'hmmed' and wrote something down. "I see, Elizabeth." He was silent for a moment, and I looked up from my pale hands to the diploma adorned wall before me. "You're anxious...you haven't gotten over Catherine, have you? This just shows me that you're hanging on to your beloved with an iron grip. You're not giving up on her or on finding her supposed killer."
I broke down inside. I evened out my voice as best I could, "I never will give up, Dr. Frey. I never will. I understand that, I accept that. I will go the rest of my life with my four best friends, but never another girlfriend."
I turned to look at him, and he gazed back at me with a heartbroken expression, "It can always get better, you know. You seem to not be giving it a chance."
He stood up and I followed suit. He scheduled me in for another three weeks. "Let me know if you see this black figure again."
Naomi's birthday came on the 10th of March, and on that day, at her house, while we laughed and joked and enjoyed ourselves, I saw it standing in the calmly in the twilight, right on the backyard lawn.
My throat tightened and I felt every vein in my body freeze. I chugged my decently sized glass of sangria to get moisture back into my mouth, and in the moment my eyes were averted, it seemed to come closer.
"Elizabeth?" Rebecca nudged me slightly, "You alright?"
I made the mistake of turning my head towards her, "I'm...sorry, I'm just out of it." I looked back to the window and it came just a few feet closer. My heart began to beat faster.
"No, you're not 'just out of it,'" Florence placed her glass on the coffee table. "What's the matter?
You're whiter than a ghost right now. You're not like that"
I blinked. It came closer. What could I say...?
"Don't look behind you," I whimpered, "Please, please don't."
"What?" Vivian's brow furrowed and she made the move to look at the window behind us. I grabbed her shoulders too roughly. "Ow! Elizabeth, what the fuck?"
Naomi turned around. She turned around as I held Vivian, went outside to check it out. I screamed at her to come back inside...she did, "Elizabeth, there's nothing out there. What's going on? Why did you freak out?"
What could I tell them? What could I say? "Please stay inside, girls. I don't want to lose you..." I broke down right on the floral couch, my tears landing on my glasses. My poor girls, they were so confused and worried. This was Naomi's special day and it ruined it. I ruined it.
For now it disappeared...but how long until it comes back?
"Now, Elizabeth, I want you to clear your mind completely. If you like you can close your eyes. I'm going to read you a list of words and you will tell me what you associate them with. Is this alright?"
I nodded, "Yeah, it is."
He leaned back into his chair, stopwatch in hand and paper in the other. "Good. Alright, first word: apple."
I said, "Pie."
"Doll," he murmured.
"Porcelain."
"Wolf."
"Wild."
"King."
"Crown."
"Darkness."
"Light."
"Baby."
"Family."
"Sex."
"...family..." my fingers curled against the cool desk. Suddenly I had a rush of memories of Catherine with me, bare breasted in the moonlight as we spoke of our hopes and dreams. "Yeah, family."
Dr. Frey 'hmmed' and wrote something down. "I see, Elizabeth." He was silent for a moment, and I looked up from my pale hands to the diploma adorned wall before me. "You're anxious...you haven't gotten over Catherine, have you? This just shows me that you're hanging on to your beloved with an iron grip. You're not giving up on her or on finding her supposed killer."
I broke down inside. I evened out my voice as best I could, "I never will give up, Dr. Frey. I never will. I understand that, I accept that. I will go the rest of my life with my four best friends, but never another girlfriend."
I turned to look at him, and he gazed back at me with a heartbroken expression, "It can always get better, you know. You seem to not be giving it a chance."
He stood up and I followed suit. He scheduled me in for another three weeks. "Let me know if you see this black figure again."
Naomi's birthday came on the 10th of March, and on that day, at her house, while we laughed and joked and enjoyed ourselves, I saw it standing in the calmly in the twilight, right on the backyard lawn.
My throat tightened and I felt every vein in my body freeze. I chugged my decently sized glass of sangria to get moisture back into my mouth, and in the moment my eyes were averted, it seemed to come closer.
"Elizabeth?" Rebecca nudged me slightly, "You alright?"
I made the mistake of turning my head towards her, "I'm...sorry, I'm just out of it." I looked back to the window and it came just a few feet closer. My heart began to beat faster.
"No, you're not 'just out of it,'" Florence placed her glass on the coffee table. "What's the matter?
You're whiter than a ghost right now. You're not like that"
I blinked. It came closer. What could I say...?
"Don't look behind you," I whimpered, "Please, please don't."
"What?" Vivian's brow furrowed and she made the move to look at the window behind us. I grabbed her shoulders too roughly. "Ow! Elizabeth, what the fuck?"
Naomi turned around. She turned around as I held Vivian, went outside to check it out. I screamed at her to come back inside...she did, "Elizabeth, there's nothing out there. What's going on? Why did you freak out?"
What could I tell them? What could I say? "Please stay inside, girls. I don't want to lose you..." I broke down right on the floral couch, my tears landing on my glasses. My poor girls, they were so confused and worried. This was Naomi's special day and it ruined it. I ruined it.
For now it disappeared...but how long until it comes back?
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Gelid
The other day, when yet another snowstorm began to cover the ground, I heard Lunagirl shriek and hiss at something unseen. I've never heard her react that way, not even with other cats. I looked outside and saw her, with a white dusting on her black coat and ear in her little eyes. She meowed and ran off. I followed her immediately to try and calm her down.
The snow became heavier as I followed her and suddenly the fear I felt weeks ago returned. Even though I wanted to get back in the house, I knew I couldn't leave my cat behind, not in this weather, not when she needed help.
I suddenly felt a hot heaviness in my ribs and throat that knocked me to the ground. My head bowed and my hair falling around my face, three drops of blood fell from my nose onto the snow. Seconds later I coughed up more of the sticky substance.
My anxiety was choking me more than the blood was. I scrambled to my feet and called out for her, begging her to come back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it again.
Standing there. Watching me struggle against nature.
Fear Dubh was as real as the sky was blue. Catherine wasn't crazy.
I couldn't run, not in this cold and the snow preventing me. I sobbed a bit, looking over my shoulder once or twice to see it still there, still watching. As if it were waiting for something.
I found Lunagirl under a tree, shaking with cold and fear. I grabbed and held her tightly to my chest as more blood flowed from my nose.
"Leave her be," I hissed out. Lunagirl cried into my arm and I snarled at the thing. I must have been crazy, with the snow and the blood and everything happening. I just wanted to protect my little girl more than anything.
It kept standing there, and I coughed up more blood.
I walked back as fast as I could, more scared than I've ever been as I begged Catherine to guide me back to the house safely. She must have heard me, my darling, because I did indeed get back there. Lunagirl wriggled from my arms and ran to my room as I went to the nearest mirror.
The blood coated my mouth in a sick parody of lipstick. I washed it off, threw away my nightshirt and cried long and hard. Lunagirl was safe with me and she made a nest for herself on my bed.
I took a nap then, but even still I felt it watching.
The snow became heavier as I followed her and suddenly the fear I felt weeks ago returned. Even though I wanted to get back in the house, I knew I couldn't leave my cat behind, not in this weather, not when she needed help.
I suddenly felt a hot heaviness in my ribs and throat that knocked me to the ground. My head bowed and my hair falling around my face, three drops of blood fell from my nose onto the snow. Seconds later I coughed up more of the sticky substance.
My anxiety was choking me more than the blood was. I scrambled to my feet and called out for her, begging her to come back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it again.
Standing there. Watching me struggle against nature.
Fear Dubh was as real as the sky was blue. Catherine wasn't crazy.
I couldn't run, not in this cold and the snow preventing me. I sobbed a bit, looking over my shoulder once or twice to see it still there, still watching. As if it were waiting for something.
I found Lunagirl under a tree, shaking with cold and fear. I grabbed and held her tightly to my chest as more blood flowed from my nose.
"Leave her be," I hissed out. Lunagirl cried into my arm and I snarled at the thing. I must have been crazy, with the snow and the blood and everything happening. I just wanted to protect my little girl more than anything.
It kept standing there, and I coughed up more blood.
I walked back as fast as I could, more scared than I've ever been as I begged Catherine to guide me back to the house safely. She must have heard me, my darling, because I did indeed get back there. Lunagirl wriggled from my arms and ran to my room as I went to the nearest mirror.
The blood coated my mouth in a sick parody of lipstick. I washed it off, threw away my nightshirt and cried long and hard. Lunagirl was safe with me and she made a nest for herself on my bed.
I took a nap then, but even still I felt it watching.
Monday, July 16, 2012
The Beach
The next day I decided that now was as good a time as ever to cheer Catherine up with a trip to one of her favorite places. I called the rest of the girls together, and we all carpooled to go to the beach. It was a perfect day for such an outing, and the moment we got there I could see that everyone couldn't wait to start enjoying the day.
We set up our area and finally took the time to relax. Naomi dove into the ocean as soon as she could, with Florence not far behind. Vivian and Rebecca stayed on the sand, listening to music and reading a book respectively. My finacee and I sat on our beach chairs holding hands, admiring it all.
"I love this area, Ellie. It's so peaceful." as she said that, her eyes wandered to the perfect blue waves and sky, to the sand and the small children that splashed and yelled with joy. "I can see why tons of people flock here every summer. It's like you can forget the whole world here." With that she removed her sunglasses and wide brimmed hat, waded into the water...and proceeded to get nailed by a wave. She was alright, though, and as soon as she collected herself (and spat out some water and sand) Catherine laughed about it.
It felt so good to see my Cathy smiling again. It seemed like forever since I saw her act normally. After we hung around the beach for a few hours, we decided to head down to the Point Pleasant boardwalk. Honestly it was one of the most fun days I've had, with us playing those games and going on those rides. Just us being together having fun was amazing. And what better way to finish up such a lovely day than by eating a heavy dinner of boardwalk confectionary? We probably all gained more than five pounds, but damn, was it worth it.
The sun was beginning to set when Catherine and I took a short walk down the beach. As soon as we got back, we were all going to head home. Truth be told nobody wanted to. Catherine sighed, "It's too bad we have to leave." she said, "Please promise you'll take me here again."
Suddenly she began to cough; not violently, but softly. She wiped her mouth, and I saw a bit a blood on the back of her hand. I freaked out a little bit on the inside, and I prayed that whatever she had would pass and our lives could go back to the way they were."Yeah," I said, "I promise."
I wish I could.
As we drove home, and I dropped off the girls at their respective homes, I could see Catherine start to get a bit nervous. The night had already fallen by the time I was driving to her house. I saw her nervously bite her lower lip, as if she was anticipating some unwelcome event, or someone to just pound on our window at a traffic light. "Hey, Catherine," I said softly, "How about you take a rest, okay?"
"I'm not tired."
"I...you look really nervous. Close your eyes for a bit, and I'll wake you when we're close to your house."
"Ellie, please. I'm alright."
"Are you sure? You look very upset about something."
She didn't respond to me, only turned her head to look out her window. For a brief moment there was silence, and in that moment I mulled over what I could do to help my beloved. Suddenly, Catherine let out a choked scream. Whatever she saw was freaking her the hell out, and I pulled over to try calming her down. I grabbed her shoulders in an attepted to
I spoke to her as loud and clear as I could, asking her what was the matter, begging her to calm down, telling her to take deep breaths, anything I could think of. Within minutes she did indeed manage to stop her hysteria.
"What happened? What did you see?" I asked, hoping that her answer could give me a reason behind her sudden outburst. She swallowed heavily and said, "I saw a guy out there. Really freaky looking. I though he was coming towards the car."
"Did he looked like the guy you were drawing?" I asked, curious to see if she confirmed it or not.
I would love to say that she nodded or shook her head, but she didn't. Instead Catherine reclined back in the front seat and said nothing. I drove to her house, escorted her to the door as I always did, and went home.
The next day, Catherine went missing again.
We set up our area and finally took the time to relax. Naomi dove into the ocean as soon as she could, with Florence not far behind. Vivian and Rebecca stayed on the sand, listening to music and reading a book respectively. My finacee and I sat on our beach chairs holding hands, admiring it all.
"I love this area, Ellie. It's so peaceful." as she said that, her eyes wandered to the perfect blue waves and sky, to the sand and the small children that splashed and yelled with joy. "I can see why tons of people flock here every summer. It's like you can forget the whole world here." With that she removed her sunglasses and wide brimmed hat, waded into the water...and proceeded to get nailed by a wave. She was alright, though, and as soon as she collected herself (and spat out some water and sand) Catherine laughed about it.
It felt so good to see my Cathy smiling again. It seemed like forever since I saw her act normally. After we hung around the beach for a few hours, we decided to head down to the Point Pleasant boardwalk. Honestly it was one of the most fun days I've had, with us playing those games and going on those rides. Just us being together having fun was amazing. And what better way to finish up such a lovely day than by eating a heavy dinner of boardwalk confectionary? We probably all gained more than five pounds, but damn, was it worth it.
The sun was beginning to set when Catherine and I took a short walk down the beach. As soon as we got back, we were all going to head home. Truth be told nobody wanted to. Catherine sighed, "It's too bad we have to leave." she said, "Please promise you'll take me here again."
Suddenly she began to cough; not violently, but softly. She wiped her mouth, and I saw a bit a blood on the back of her hand. I freaked out a little bit on the inside, and I prayed that whatever she had would pass and our lives could go back to the way they were."Yeah," I said, "I promise."
I wish I could.
As we drove home, and I dropped off the girls at their respective homes, I could see Catherine start to get a bit nervous. The night had already fallen by the time I was driving to her house. I saw her nervously bite her lower lip, as if she was anticipating some unwelcome event, or someone to just pound on our window at a traffic light. "Hey, Catherine," I said softly, "How about you take a rest, okay?"
"I'm not tired."
"I...you look really nervous. Close your eyes for a bit, and I'll wake you when we're close to your house."
"Ellie, please. I'm alright."
"Are you sure? You look very upset about something."
She didn't respond to me, only turned her head to look out her window. For a brief moment there was silence, and in that moment I mulled over what I could do to help my beloved. Suddenly, Catherine let out a choked scream. Whatever she saw was freaking her the hell out, and I pulled over to try calming her down. I grabbed her shoulders in an attepted to
I spoke to her as loud and clear as I could, asking her what was the matter, begging her to calm down, telling her to take deep breaths, anything I could think of. Within minutes she did indeed manage to stop her hysteria.
"What happened? What did you see?" I asked, hoping that her answer could give me a reason behind her sudden outburst. She swallowed heavily and said, "I saw a guy out there. Really freaky looking. I though he was coming towards the car."
"Did he looked like the guy you were drawing?" I asked, curious to see if she confirmed it or not.
I would love to say that she nodded or shook her head, but she didn't. Instead Catherine reclined back in the front seat and said nothing. I drove to her house, escorted her to the door as I always did, and went home.
The next day, Catherine went missing again.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Fear Dubh
In my last post, I talked about the title of Catherine's book purchase. I couldn't get a good look at the author, or the cover art, but I know that the book exists somewhere. For some reason I can't seem to find it not matter what bookstore I look in.
I looked to the internet to give me the answer as to who or what the Fear Dubh is, as Catherine suddenly developed an interest in it. Normally Catherine would be facinated with Irish mythology, the faeries, the heroes and heroines, not the monsters that lurked in the shadows. In my research I found this little description of it:
“In Ireland, there is the legend of the Fear Dubh (The Black Man). This creature is said to haunt solitary footpaths at night, generally those that pass through woodland. It is reputed to be entirely malevolent."
I went from site to site searching for this thing, and found stories of people (or people who knew people) who had encounters with this 'Fear Dubh.' The stories were the stuff of nightmares; people being abducted in the night or, even more unnerving, the day. A story in Ireland about a child and her grandmother, and how the latter died in a terrible fire that had no known cause. How the fire made strange, black cracks all over the walls that looked like the tentacles of a eldritch sea monster. The pictures that showed what was left of the house were chilling. The local county police chief died of a heart attack a few days later, and following his death the priest also died mysteriously. Odd.
There are similar stories around the world, such as Der Großmann, who was featured in several disturbing woodcuts from 16th century Germany. It, too, was a malevolent entity; it lurked in the Black Forest, who supposedly kidnapped naughty children at night, and who stalked said children until they confessed their sins to their parents and changed their ways.
After I looked everywhere I could, I went to Catherine's house to ask her about her obsession with the Fear Dubh, and what started it. Catherine had a vivid imagination, which helped us during our childhood playdates. Perhaps it had gotten the best of her. Or perhaps not.
When I got to her house, I found her drawing in the den. She didn't look like she had slept in days. On pieces of large, white pieces of paper were grim images made with charcoal. Drawings of forests, of a black thing lurking in the water, the fire, the air and the earth, of half remembered nightmares through a cracked, ancient mirror.
I asked, "What is the Fear Dubh, Catherine?"
She muttered, "Something."
Not 'nothing, but 'something.'
"What is it?"
She was silent for a time, but then said, "Everything will be fine, Elizabeth. Just...just please stay with me."
I pulled her into a hug and I whispered, "I will never leave."
We laid on the sofa, saying nothing but holding each other, and there we fell asleep.
I looked to the internet to give me the answer as to who or what the Fear Dubh is, as Catherine suddenly developed an interest in it. Normally Catherine would be facinated with Irish mythology, the faeries, the heroes and heroines, not the monsters that lurked in the shadows. In my research I found this little description of it:
“In Ireland, there is the legend of the Fear Dubh (The Black Man). This creature is said to haunt solitary footpaths at night, generally those that pass through woodland. It is reputed to be entirely malevolent."
I went from site to site searching for this thing, and found stories of people (or people who knew people) who had encounters with this 'Fear Dubh.' The stories were the stuff of nightmares; people being abducted in the night or, even more unnerving, the day. A story in Ireland about a child and her grandmother, and how the latter died in a terrible fire that had no known cause. How the fire made strange, black cracks all over the walls that looked like the tentacles of a eldritch sea monster. The pictures that showed what was left of the house were chilling. The local county police chief died of a heart attack a few days later, and following his death the priest also died mysteriously. Odd.
There are similar stories around the world, such as Der Großmann, who was featured in several disturbing woodcuts from 16th century Germany. It, too, was a malevolent entity; it lurked in the Black Forest, who supposedly kidnapped naughty children at night, and who stalked said children until they confessed their sins to their parents and changed their ways.
After I looked everywhere I could, I went to Catherine's house to ask her about her obsession with the Fear Dubh, and what started it. Catherine had a vivid imagination, which helped us during our childhood playdates. Perhaps it had gotten the best of her. Or perhaps not.
When I got to her house, I found her drawing in the den. She didn't look like she had slept in days. On pieces of large, white pieces of paper were grim images made with charcoal. Drawings of forests, of a black thing lurking in the water, the fire, the air and the earth, of half remembered nightmares through a cracked, ancient mirror.
I asked, "What is the Fear Dubh, Catherine?"
She muttered, "Something."
Not 'nothing, but 'something.'
"What is it?"
She was silent for a time, but then said, "Everything will be fine, Elizabeth. Just...just please stay with me."
I pulled her into a hug and I whispered, "I will never leave."
We laid on the sofa, saying nothing but holding each other, and there we fell asleep.
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