The Test

Eight days later I sat back in Dr. Frey's office. Instead of my usual, comfy seat I was led to a plain wooden chair, old and worn, which audibly creaked when I sat. He had me place my hands palm down on the small desk before me and walked away, pulling out a small sheet of paper.

"Now, Elizabeth, I want you to clear your mind completely. If you like you can close your eyes. I'm going to read you a list of words and you will tell me what you associate them with. Is this alright?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it is."

He leaned back into his chair, stopwatch in hand and paper in the other. "Good. Alright, first word: apple."

I said, "Pie."

"Doll," he murmured.

"Porcelain."

"Wolf."

"Wild."

"King."

"Crown."

"Darkness."

"Light."

"Baby."

"Family."

"Sex."

"...family..." my fingers curled against the cool desk. Suddenly I had a rush of memories of Catherine with me, bare breasted in the moonlight as we spoke of our hopes and dreams. "Yeah, family."


Dr. Frey 'hmmed'  and wrote something down. "I see, Elizabeth." He was silent for a moment, and I looked up from my pale hands to the diploma adorned wall before me. "You're anxious...you haven't gotten over Catherine, have you? This just shows me that you're hanging on to your beloved with an iron grip. You're not giving up on her or on finding her supposed killer."

I broke down inside. I evened out my voice as best I could, "I never will give up, Dr. Frey. I never will. I understand that, I accept that. I will go the rest of my life with my four best friends, but never another girlfriend."

I turned to look at him, and he gazed back at me with a heartbroken expression, "It can always get better, you know. You seem to not be giving it a chance."

He stood up and I followed suit. He scheduled me in for another three weeks. "Let me know if you see this black figure again."

Naomi's birthday came on the 10th of March, and on that day, at her house, while we laughed and joked and enjoyed ourselves, I saw it standing in the calmly in the twilight, right on the backyard lawn.

My throat tightened and I felt every vein in my body freeze. I chugged my decently sized glass of sangria to get moisture back into my mouth, and in the moment my eyes were averted, it seemed to come closer.

"Elizabeth?" Rebecca nudged me slightly, "You alright?"

I made the mistake of turning my head towards her, "I'm...sorry, I'm just out of it." I looked back to the window and it came just a few feet closer. My heart began to beat faster.

"No, you're not 'just out of it,'" Florence placed her glass on the coffee table. "What's the matter?
You're whiter than a ghost right now. You're not like that"

I blinked. It came closer. What could I say...?

"Don't look behind you," I whimpered, "Please, please don't."

"What?" Vivian's brow furrowed and she made the move to look at the window behind us. I grabbed her shoulders too roughly. "Ow! Elizabeth, what the fuck?"

Naomi turned around. She turned around as I held Vivian, went outside to check it out. I screamed at her to come back inside...she did, "Elizabeth, there's nothing out there. What's going on? Why did you freak out?"

What could I tell them? What could I say? "Please stay inside, girls. I don't want to lose you..." I broke down right on the floral couch, my tears landing on my glasses. My poor girls, they were so confused and worried. This was Naomi's special day and it ruined it. I ruined it.

For now it disappeared...but how long until it comes back?