Happy Birthday Naomi!

You're the first of us to turn the big 2-5! We love you so much!

I'm very happy to say that after the Christmas fiasco things have been quiet as of late. I'll admit, I was hesitant to go out for Valentine's Day, but everything turned out to be as normal as possible.

Here's to the rest of 2015 being as non freaky as possible.

My Catherine

I dreamed of her on her birthday, the 20th. She and I held hands in a field of spring flowers, the sunbeams dancing in her hair and her smile overflowing with love. On her head was a beautiful wreath of lavender and lilac, the combined perfumes filling my nostrils. In each blossom was a tiny bird that sang the sweetest of songs. I kissed her, held her, promised to never let her go as she spoke to me. I can't remember what she said, not in the slightest, but I do remember the agonizing feeling of waking up. I cried for a long time.

The good news is that it has strengthened my already iron resolve to find out what really happened. Don't worry, Catherine...I'm on the case.

Happy Birthday, Rebecca!

Even though it rained and was really dreary, I'm glad we all found a way to enjoy it. Thanks for humoring Florence with the laser tag and putting in 100% of your skill. You were great! I'm also really happy you loved the gardening books we got you. Plant something nice while it's still autumn, girlie.

I'm still working on the DVD. It's not a trippy excursion through hell...but it is disturbing.

Happy Birthday, Vivian!

And you are twenty-four this fine day. That Tex-Mex place you found was delicious! I'm glad you liked the CDs we gave you.

I'm feeling better now. The cough has gone away and I can talk without my throat hurting. I had my time off, now it's back on schedule.

I'm going to start looking again.

Happy Birthday to Me

So today I am 24, and still sick. I'm coughing up bloody mucus and my poor mother had to listen to me hack away all night. Due to me being sick we had to cancel the reservation to this nice restaurant. I feel so bad, but I'm even more mad at the fact that thing has something to do with my illness.

As soon as I'm better I'm going to keep up with my search.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there; you do so much for us little ones and we're eternally grateful. Keep on being awesome, moms.

Happy Birthday, Florence

Hey, I hope you had a wonderful day! Did you like the manga we got for you? We all pitched in and got it for you special.

I do want to let you know that I've been feeling better since the last time it rained. How many days ago was it, again? Can't remember, but I do recall the feeling of dread mixed with the smell of damp earth.

I had been running errands for my mom and I was on the phone with Florence at the time. She gushed over how much she loved the new Captain America move, how she had seen it three times already and wanted us to see it, too.

I shuffled the bags into the backseat of my car when I saw it again. Like the times before, it didn't move but stood at a reasonable distance away from me. I hastily ended the call, but not before telling Florence to keep her phone nearby just in case. It was then that the rain became a downpour, the raindrops drenching my hair and running into my face, forming a constellation on my long lashes.

Could this thing control weather?

Like a child I snuck into my car and waited until the heavy rain lightened. The radio had been reduced to static; no matter which channel I tuned to it was all  the same white noise. I flipped to channel 004 when I heard something...something I can't describe.

What I can formulate was it sounded like a chant--no, it was a chant. Through the static I swore I heard voices crying out eye-ah, eye-ah and then more things I couldn't decipher. I listened closer, and this is what I got:

Eye-ah ???, hear our voice

???, soul and voice of darkness

??? alal, hear our voice

Take our ??? we may hear you

Take our ??? so we may se you

I was chilled to the bone. I turned the car off and for a few blissful minutes all was silent except for the rain.

But that was ruined when I looked through windshield...it was standing only nine feet away from me. I could do nothing but stare in horror. I did not scream; I couldn't scream. The fear had silenced me.

I shut my eyes tight and cried, my heart beating like a drum in my chest and the sickening feeling that it was leering at me. Please go away, please go away, please go away...!!

The rain stopped completely; the only evidence of it was the dark clouds and the wet surfaces. I hesitated to start the car, but through the anxiety I found it in me to do so. The radio was back to normal and I drove home with the alternative rock station blaring.

I called Florence when I pulled into the driveway, hands still shaking.

"Flo...?"

"Ellie? Holy shit, are you alright?"

"I...Flo, listen. I don't--I think that I...something almost jumped me."

"What did he look like?" she snarled out protectively, "Who tried to hurt you? Did he have a knife or anything?"

"No! He--it didn't have anything." Just the possible power over nature. "He was just really scary looking and I didn't feel safe. I hid in my car and he...lost interest, I suppose. I'm home now, though! And feeling much better now that I'm talking to you." That wasn't a lie. The sun had started to peek through the clouds and Florence's voice eased my nerves.

She sighed, "All right then. If anyone tries to fuck with you, just call me and I'll burn them alive."

"I love you too, Florence."

"I'm serious."

"I know, I know," it felt good to laugh out the words, and after some minor small talk the call ended.

I really am feeling so much better...I just don't want it to rain anytime soon.

The Walk

Something strange happened on the day I took my walk. You noticed that I didn't do my usual birthday post on the 20th, Catherine's birthday. I decided I needed to get some fresh air and clear my head, despite the fact that this anxiety refuses to budge.

I drove to the park listening to my music player, but other than the sounds of my favorite artists I was completely silent. I parked my car and ignored the sounds of happy children playing. I decided to walk down one of the many wooded paths the park had to offer. As I wandered aimlessly, I finally collapsed onto my knees and cried, long and hard, on the forest floor. I didn't care if someone saw or heard me--I needed this. I begged Catherine to forgive me, I begged her to not be dead and to come back, I apologized over and over again to the empty autumn air. After what seemed like hours, I got up, dusted myself off, and continued walking.

I found, nestled beneath a big oak, an eerie shrine that reminded me too much of the white tree. On this stone altar I saw a dead robin surrounded by bloodies glass and mirrors. The poor thing looked like it had struggled before its untimely death. More of those strange, unknown words were seemingly carved onto the rocks. Understandably, I backed away from it and kept walking. Yet after seeing that morbid display, I felt like I was being watched, not by a single person, but by many. I got this unsettling feeling that I was an uninvited guest in an inhospitable home. Eventually I became so uncomfortable that I just left.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you were being followed, even though when you turn around there is no one there? I couldn't shake that even if I tried, and when I reached the mouth of the forest I was surprised to see the park deserted. It was barely three o' clock and it shouldn't have been this...empty.

I ran to my car and raced home.

I recorded what happened on my camera, but something's wrong with the video. Some parts are distorted and I can almost make out human speech at some parts. This is insane.

Happy Birthday, Rebecca!

Happy Friday the 13th, girlie. I know you're not superstitious, but damn, we just couldn't help but make some jokes about it. Thanks for asking about how I was doing, even though you could tell I was lying through my teeth. It was your special day, and I didn't want to ruin it. Did you like the gardening tips book we got you? Now's the time for planting any seeds you want in your beloved garden, so use that to the best of your ability.

Happy Birthday, Vivian!

Hey, girl! I hope that you liked the new CDs we all got you. We all pitched it to get your favorites. And we loved the mix tape you made. You're going places!

I didn't update for my birthday due to the fact that nothing of note happened. I hung out with my girls and did the usual birthday stuff. It was fun. The feeling that I spoke about before didn't quite go away, but it has ebbed. I haven't been updating because I feel I have said everything about this subject as I can.

One thing that really spooked me, though, was on May 19. I was sitting on a park bench, just playing with my phone, when I got this terrible sensation of dread and sorrow. I nearly had a mental breakdown right there. The feeling was just so overwhelming that I had to find a secluded space to get it all out.

Never in my entire life have I felt that...well, that god-awful. It nearly took me an hour to calm down. What's weird is that I was thinking about Catherine all day, and then that just hit me out of nowhere. Even though I want to brush it off as nerves or whatever, nothing about it felt normal.

Happy Birthday, Florence!

Breaking my silence to wish Florence a happy 23rd birthday. She's going to go places, that girl. With her mind and willpower she could take over the corporate world overnight, even. I hope that you will enjoy your birthday and the new comic books we all got you! We remembered not to get any Spider-Man for you this time...you still haven't forgiven One More Day, and we respect that.

Happy Birthday, Naomi!

Happy birthday, girlie. I hope that the tea collection we gave you was just want you wanted for your 23rd birthday. That sushi restaurant you picked ouy was amazing! I can see why you go there almost all the time. Here's to a happy year for you, girlie.

Happy Birthday, Catherine

Today is Catherine's 22nd birthday. I thought that maybe she would be found by this time, but obviously that didn't happen. I am a broken record by this point, but I miss her and want her found. So bad.

Happy Birthday, Rebecca!

Happy 22nd, Rebecca! I hope you have a great semester and get accepted into Miskatonic like you wanted. If you do, don't forget to send us an e-mail once in a while to let us know how you are doing. I hope you liked the books I got for you!

Happy 22nd, Vivian!

Happy birthday, Vivian! I hope that you have a happy year, and good luck with finishing that electronica album you have been working on.

Haus of Laub is a pretty neat title, if I do say so myself.

22 Years Old

Happy birthday to me. We are planning on going out tonight to celebrate, and maybe I will have a drink or so. That and staring at my phone hoping to God above me that Catherine might call or text. I don't know why I keep fantasizing about that. It's been seven months since she left and there has been nothing but silence on her end. I don't know where she is and I don't even know if she is alive.

Catherine, if you are out there, please let me know. I love you.