Right now we all stand upon the dawning of the year 2013, a new year with new hopes and new dreams. 2012 has been painful, but at the same time there were moments I enjoyed. The entire year Catherine has been on my mind nonstop, mostly me worrying sick about where she is. I still worry, and I doubt I will be able to shake it anytime soon.
My wish for 2013 is for her to return home to me, and to get the answers I need. I pray that it will be granted.
For everyone else out there, have a safe, happy and prosperous new year, and may 2013 be kind to you all.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Merry (late) Christmas
So hopefully you all enjoyed the holiday season as much as I have. I was supposed to write this yesterday, but I was swept away by presents, pancakes and parties. It was a lovely day, though I wish that Catherine was here with me. My girls celebrated it with their families, I celebrated it with mine. We're going to get together shortly to exchange the gifts we got for one another.
I hear we're supposed to get a lot of snow this winter. Here's to having snowball fights!
I hear we're supposed to get a lot of snow this winter. Here's to having snowball fights!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Nature's Church
I was awoken early the next morning by a strange feeling on my cheek, dancing across my lips and down my neck. Delirious, I at first thought it was Catherine's fingers, as she did have a habit of caressing my face as I slept in one of her more loving moods, but when the feeling crawled up my face once more, I opened my eyes to see a house spider comfortably resting on my nose.
Now, I don't like hurting bugs, I don't. But this black thing spooked me so bad that I nearly let out a yell. I slapped it off of my face and onto surfaces unknown, for I never saw it after that. After I calmed myself down enough, I went to the bathroom to check for any bites. I found none whatsoever, which was most certainly a good thing. Looking outside I saw that the sun was slowly starting to rise, and since our classes were at eight-thirty, I debated even going back to bed; didn't want to get too comfortable again. Might as well make some tea and get ready.
But then I thought about Catherine and that spider. The one on my face wasn't identical to the one we saw yesterday, and I honestly didn't feel comfortable with any arachnid (big or small) near her. It was the desire to protect Catherine, even from harmless little things, that made me go back into my room and curl up next to her. To hell with everything else.
The day passed on comfortably: we carpooled to school, met up with our girls, managed to eat lunch together before scattering to our respective destinations. The classes went smoothly, our phones managed to not glitch up royally (thank God), and we even ate out for dinner that night. I did see Catherine sometimes looking behind her and over my shoulder, but aside from that nothing went awry.
We returned on time, no later that ten, and completely exhausted we went to bed. As we lay there, not asleep yet not awake, Catherine gently nudged my shoulder.
"Hmm? You alright?" I said to her.
She nodded, "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still here."
It was a simple little sentence, but it meant so much to me. I kissed her forehead, and we slowly descended into blissful rest. That night I dreamed of a small, cozy cabin in the middle of a dense forest; the kind of home or vacation spot many would kill for. Inside were plenty of furnishings to go around, comfortable couches and beds, a full pantry and the sound of laughter from an invisible family. It was beautiful, soothing.
And then, in the blink of an eye, the cabin caught fire. I don't know where it started, but the flames crept up the walls and along the floors like a stalker in the night. Soon the entire house was a fireball, and I heard the laughter turn to muted screams. In seconds the cabin was ash upon the forest floor, and all was silent.
I woke with a start, my heart pounding like a frantic drum in my chest. I felt beside me to feel if Catherine was still with me, and to my relief she still was. In minutes I calmed down enough to finally fall into an uneasy rest. Morning could not have come sooner.
But after an eternity, it did. The sun rose and banished away all darkness, golden-yellow rays pouring into windows to wake the people and let them start the day, hopefully with a good night's sleep behind them. Such was the way with Catherine and I. Quietly we walked down the stairs, rubbing our eyes and yawning. Breakfast for both of us was jasmine green tea, toast with Nutella and ground cinnamon and sliced green apples.
Outside, Lunagirl was meowing loudly for her food and attention, yet there was also something mournful in her voice. Catherine said to me, "Let me go play with her while you get her breakfast."
She opened the back door, shuddered at the sudden coldness and knelt down to pet Lunagirl. I was calmly opening a can of her preferred foodstuff when Catherine let out a ragged, low scream. I flew to the door, shouting, "What's wrong?! What's wrong?!"
Catherine wordlessly pointed to my cat, a look of terror in her eyes. I held my little black companion in my arms and my jaw dropped in shock.
Lunagirl's back neck was almost covered in ticks. Pale, engorged things that greedily sucked at her lifeblood. Horrified, yet intrepid, I began to pluck each of them off. It was no easy task, as they had embedded themselves in her skin so deeply that it seemed they were now a part of her. All the time my beloved feline was sitting still so I could work. In the end I counted a total of eighteen ticks, every last one of them so big that they could barely move. Catherine smashed them all with the one of my father's heavy shoes.
At one-thirty I accompanied Catherine to her appointment with Dr. Frey, sitting in the waiting room and fiddling with my phone the entire time. The session took a little longer this time, not that I minded. If Catherine needed more time to get it off her chest, then it can take as long as she wants it to. I forgot to mention this back a while, but she was laid off from her job due to her missing shifts and erratic behavior. It didn't seem to hit her too hard, but it wasn't making things easier.
At almost three o' clock Dr. Frey invited me to join Catherine in his office. I walked in, sat down in a chair next to hers, and held Catherine's outstretched hand.
Dr. Frey cleared his throat and spoke, "Catherine has told me all about her little black out that happened. They are very scary, and since she does not illegal substances nor has any brain damage, it makes them even more puzzling. You two staying together through all of this shows how strong you are, and how much love you have for one another." he paused and I squeezed Catherine's hand. "I do want to put both of your worries to rest and tell you that your phones were most likely malfunctioning. It sometimes happens to Justine's phone, even. Don't over-analyze it it mean more than it does; it causes headaches." He chuckled at his own joke.
"Now, Elizabeth," he continued, folding his hands neatly on his desk. "Is there anything you want to get out there for discussion? Any fears, thoughts...nothing is off limits."
I breathed in deeply, then exhaled. I turned to Catherine and said, "I love you, and nothing can keep me from doing that. Not even this wicked thing that seems to like you a whole lot." She didn't laugh, but a smile formed on her lips. "And you're not suffering though this alone, okay?"
"I know."
"I mean, I had a really crazy dream last night even--"
The smile faded quickly, replaced with anxiety. "What?"
"Yeah...it was freaky. Surreal."
The doctor said, "Do you want to share it with us, Elizabeth?"
I decided, 'why not? It's just a dream' and told them. "It was just...creepy. I dreamed about a cottage in the woods that must have belonged to a family. Then it caught fire and burned to the ground, most likely killing everyone. I woke up scared silly."
The doctor nodded his head, a look of puzzlement on his face. "Hm. Odd. But dreams are often like that. Personally it may have just been a simple nightmare, but one would think that there is a deeper meaning. Catherine? What do you think?"
Catherine's eyes grew wide as saucers, her breathing becoming deeper and deeper. "I know that something serious needs to be done."
She got up out of her chair, dragging me along with her. Before leaving the room, she turned and nodded, "Thank you, doctor. I believe I know what I have to do now." Catherine's grip on my wrist grew stronger as she pulled me to the car. I gently pried her fingers off of my small wrist and nearly croaked, "Cathie! Wha-what is going on?!"
It was a question that has long since worn out its welcome. I wondered about her strange behavior and seemed to get an answer that this evil thing wanted her for some bizzare reason. I wanted it gone so that she would stop worrying and being on edge. I wanted it gone for both of our sakes.
She opened the passenger door and looked at me pleadingly, "I have to think about this. Let's go home."
So we did, the whole ride spent in pure silence. Catherine was looking out the window, seemingly mulling over what she and the doctor had talked about and my dream. I wanted to make small talk, but each time a sentence formed in my mind it died in my throat. Sometimes words were not nescessary.
When we arrived home she quietly opened her door, walked around to me and opened mine. "Thanks, love," I murmured. Together we walked to and through the unlocked front door, where Catherine still wore the expression of a person debating what in the name of God to do with their life. I said in the cheeriest voice I could muster, "You want a snack? I think we still have those apple slices left."
I recieved a "Mm-hm." in response. I gave her the the slices of fruit and she chewed them slowly, listlessly. I looked around me for any and all spiders or insects, and should one appear I would be the first to swat it out of the room. "You alright?" I whispered.
"Kind of. I'm just really upset that you dreamed about that. It's not good."
"Why?"
She swallowed heavily, "Because. It might want you, too."
My eyebrows rose, "Me?"
She nodded.
I didn't say anything; I was left completely speechless by this new turn of events. A little bit of fear started to creep inside of me. Were dreams the first sign of things to come? No. No. I won't let this thing have me. I can't let it consume me. Without thinking I said, "Yesterday I woke up with a spider on my face. I don't want to freak you out, but I don't want to keep anything from you. I wacked it off my face and I didn't see it after that." I half expected her to flip the table, but instead sheburied her face in my shoulder. Catherine didn't cry, only let out sad little sighs.
Almost foolishly, I said, "Nothing bad will happen to me, Catherine. We're going to get through this."
She looked up at me with a smile drained of all warmth and said, "I can only hope we will."
Now, I don't like hurting bugs, I don't. But this black thing spooked me so bad that I nearly let out a yell. I slapped it off of my face and onto surfaces unknown, for I never saw it after that. After I calmed myself down enough, I went to the bathroom to check for any bites. I found none whatsoever, which was most certainly a good thing. Looking outside I saw that the sun was slowly starting to rise, and since our classes were at eight-thirty, I debated even going back to bed; didn't want to get too comfortable again. Might as well make some tea and get ready.
But then I thought about Catherine and that spider. The one on my face wasn't identical to the one we saw yesterday, and I honestly didn't feel comfortable with any arachnid (big or small) near her. It was the desire to protect Catherine, even from harmless little things, that made me go back into my room and curl up next to her. To hell with everything else.
The day passed on comfortably: we carpooled to school, met up with our girls, managed to eat lunch together before scattering to our respective destinations. The classes went smoothly, our phones managed to not glitch up royally (thank God), and we even ate out for dinner that night. I did see Catherine sometimes looking behind her and over my shoulder, but aside from that nothing went awry.
We returned on time, no later that ten, and completely exhausted we went to bed. As we lay there, not asleep yet not awake, Catherine gently nudged my shoulder.
"Hmm? You alright?" I said to her.
She nodded, "Yeah. I just wanted to make sure you knew I was still here."
It was a simple little sentence, but it meant so much to me. I kissed her forehead, and we slowly descended into blissful rest. That night I dreamed of a small, cozy cabin in the middle of a dense forest; the kind of home or vacation spot many would kill for. Inside were plenty of furnishings to go around, comfortable couches and beds, a full pantry and the sound of laughter from an invisible family. It was beautiful, soothing.
And then, in the blink of an eye, the cabin caught fire. I don't know where it started, but the flames crept up the walls and along the floors like a stalker in the night. Soon the entire house was a fireball, and I heard the laughter turn to muted screams. In seconds the cabin was ash upon the forest floor, and all was silent.
I woke with a start, my heart pounding like a frantic drum in my chest. I felt beside me to feel if Catherine was still with me, and to my relief she still was. In minutes I calmed down enough to finally fall into an uneasy rest. Morning could not have come sooner.
But after an eternity, it did. The sun rose and banished away all darkness, golden-yellow rays pouring into windows to wake the people and let them start the day, hopefully with a good night's sleep behind them. Such was the way with Catherine and I. Quietly we walked down the stairs, rubbing our eyes and yawning. Breakfast for both of us was jasmine green tea, toast with Nutella and ground cinnamon and sliced green apples.
Outside, Lunagirl was meowing loudly for her food and attention, yet there was also something mournful in her voice. Catherine said to me, "Let me go play with her while you get her breakfast."
She opened the back door, shuddered at the sudden coldness and knelt down to pet Lunagirl. I was calmly opening a can of her preferred foodstuff when Catherine let out a ragged, low scream. I flew to the door, shouting, "What's wrong?! What's wrong?!"
Catherine wordlessly pointed to my cat, a look of terror in her eyes. I held my little black companion in my arms and my jaw dropped in shock.
Lunagirl's back neck was almost covered in ticks. Pale, engorged things that greedily sucked at her lifeblood. Horrified, yet intrepid, I began to pluck each of them off. It was no easy task, as they had embedded themselves in her skin so deeply that it seemed they were now a part of her. All the time my beloved feline was sitting still so I could work. In the end I counted a total of eighteen ticks, every last one of them so big that they could barely move. Catherine smashed them all with the one of my father's heavy shoes.
At one-thirty I accompanied Catherine to her appointment with Dr. Frey, sitting in the waiting room and fiddling with my phone the entire time. The session took a little longer this time, not that I minded. If Catherine needed more time to get it off her chest, then it can take as long as she wants it to. I forgot to mention this back a while, but she was laid off from her job due to her missing shifts and erratic behavior. It didn't seem to hit her too hard, but it wasn't making things easier.
At almost three o' clock Dr. Frey invited me to join Catherine in his office. I walked in, sat down in a chair next to hers, and held Catherine's outstretched hand.
Dr. Frey cleared his throat and spoke, "Catherine has told me all about her little black out that happened. They are very scary, and since she does not illegal substances nor has any brain damage, it makes them even more puzzling. You two staying together through all of this shows how strong you are, and how much love you have for one another." he paused and I squeezed Catherine's hand. "I do want to put both of your worries to rest and tell you that your phones were most likely malfunctioning. It sometimes happens to Justine's phone, even. Don't over-analyze it it mean more than it does; it causes headaches." He chuckled at his own joke.
"Now, Elizabeth," he continued, folding his hands neatly on his desk. "Is there anything you want to get out there for discussion? Any fears, thoughts...nothing is off limits."
I breathed in deeply, then exhaled. I turned to Catherine and said, "I love you, and nothing can keep me from doing that. Not even this wicked thing that seems to like you a whole lot." She didn't laugh, but a smile formed on her lips. "And you're not suffering though this alone, okay?"
"I know."
"I mean, I had a really crazy dream last night even--"
The smile faded quickly, replaced with anxiety. "What?"
"Yeah...it was freaky. Surreal."
The doctor said, "Do you want to share it with us, Elizabeth?"
I decided, 'why not? It's just a dream' and told them. "It was just...creepy. I dreamed about a cottage in the woods that must have belonged to a family. Then it caught fire and burned to the ground, most likely killing everyone. I woke up scared silly."
The doctor nodded his head, a look of puzzlement on his face. "Hm. Odd. But dreams are often like that. Personally it may have just been a simple nightmare, but one would think that there is a deeper meaning. Catherine? What do you think?"
Catherine's eyes grew wide as saucers, her breathing becoming deeper and deeper. "I know that something serious needs to be done."
She got up out of her chair, dragging me along with her. Before leaving the room, she turned and nodded, "Thank you, doctor. I believe I know what I have to do now." Catherine's grip on my wrist grew stronger as she pulled me to the car. I gently pried her fingers off of my small wrist and nearly croaked, "Cathie! Wha-what is going on?!"
It was a question that has long since worn out its welcome. I wondered about her strange behavior and seemed to get an answer that this evil thing wanted her for some bizzare reason. I wanted it gone so that she would stop worrying and being on edge. I wanted it gone for both of our sakes.
She opened the passenger door and looked at me pleadingly, "I have to think about this. Let's go home."
So we did, the whole ride spent in pure silence. Catherine was looking out the window, seemingly mulling over what she and the doctor had talked about and my dream. I wanted to make small talk, but each time a sentence formed in my mind it died in my throat. Sometimes words were not nescessary.
When we arrived home she quietly opened her door, walked around to me and opened mine. "Thanks, love," I murmured. Together we walked to and through the unlocked front door, where Catherine still wore the expression of a person debating what in the name of God to do with their life. I said in the cheeriest voice I could muster, "You want a snack? I think we still have those apple slices left."
I recieved a "Mm-hm." in response. I gave her the the slices of fruit and she chewed them slowly, listlessly. I looked around me for any and all spiders or insects, and should one appear I would be the first to swat it out of the room. "You alright?" I whispered.
"Kind of. I'm just really upset that you dreamed about that. It's not good."
"Why?"
She swallowed heavily, "Because. It might want you, too."
My eyebrows rose, "Me?"
She nodded.
I didn't say anything; I was left completely speechless by this new turn of events. A little bit of fear started to creep inside of me. Were dreams the first sign of things to come? No. No. I won't let this thing have me. I can't let it consume me. Without thinking I said, "Yesterday I woke up with a spider on my face. I don't want to freak you out, but I don't want to keep anything from you. I wacked it off my face and I didn't see it after that." I half expected her to flip the table, but instead sheburied her face in my shoulder. Catherine didn't cry, only let out sad little sighs.
Almost foolishly, I said, "Nothing bad will happen to me, Catherine. We're going to get through this."
She looked up at me with a smile drained of all warmth and said, "I can only hope we will."
Thursday, December 20, 2012
End of the World
So if the Mayan Prophecy is correct (it isn't), the world should be ending pretty soon. I'm not expecting anything, really. If anything I'm expecting a lot of unfortunate suicides and unplanned pregnancies, alongside a ton of disappointed people. The world is beautiful and worth fighting for, even with all the cruel things that are in it. The way I see it, you can acknowledge that there are bad things in the world but focus on the good, or you can acknowledge that there are good things in the world but focus on the bad. I choose the former.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Day After
My heart skipped half a dozen beats when I read it. Instantly I unlocked the door and waited anxiously for her arrival. It only took four and a quarter minutes for Catherine to get there. When I heard the knock and the sound of the door opening, I flew from my seat at the table and nearly barreled her over with the force of my hug.
"How are you feeling? What happened after you left? Are you alright? Did that guy hurt you?" My questions were coming out of my mouth faster than I could process. She regained her balance quickly and responded in a gentle tone, "How about you get me a tall glass of water and I'll explain. I'm so parched."
I went back to the kitchen and gave her said glass of water, placing it on the table where she had just sat. In mere seconds the entire glass was downed, leaving nothing but small droplets at the bottom. Catherine didn't look like she had been tussled by shrubbery or beaten by ill-mannered folk. Her nose was clean of any blood, thank God, and her clothes were without any stains. However tempted I was, I didn't immediately think that all was well and good unless she told me it was.
Sitting down next to her, I said, "I tried calling you after you left, just to make sure you were okay. But you didn't pick up so I assumed that you turned your phone off."
Catherine brow furrowed, getting this 'not again!' look on her face, "What time?"
"I think barely five minutes."
"Yeah, my phone was on."
Damn. I hoped that this wasn't going to become a habit, "What do you think is going on with our phones? They're both top of the line and they have never done this before. Maybe it's bad service or something."
Catherine said, "I don't think it's anything we can help...but let me explain: I went to Dr. Frey's office to see what he thought, but it was closed. Then I went to the school's library to read up on it, but lo and behold those books were gone. After that..." she paused, looked away and chewed her lip. "...I went home. And I guessed I slept, because I can't--"
She stopped herself, as if she never intended on telling me that much. "Nevermind."
"You can't do what, Catherine?" What was she going to tell me?
"I went home and slept." she replied, but I wasn't blind or deaf; I could plainly see that she wasn't telling the whole truth. She had never lied to me before about anything. I wasn't angered, oh no. I was scared. This was so out of character for her. "No, really." I said, "You can tell me what really happened. You know I won't judge."
Catherine looked torn between telling me the truth and fibbing again. "I...don't know how to say it."
"I only remember driving home, and then waking up in my bed." She buried her head in her hands as she tried to recall the day before, "...I left at 2 pm, came back 2:44, and I was on the road at 2:54...and that's it. All I can remember after is opening my eyes in my room and seeing that it was almost noon. I thought about you and I decided to drive over."
The boughts of memory loss were happening again. What happened in those hours that she couldn't seem to remember? It wasn't a whole week like before, but it could soon escalate to that. I couldn't look at this through a logical, scientific way anymore. Something was after Catherine, something that I doubted we could explain. But what was it? Demon? Monster? Spirit? Something else entirely? And what did it want?
I didn't know the answer to any of them.
Suddenly Catherine's attention turned to the floor, staring intently at a big spider that loitered around the feet of her chair. She almost tripped over herself trying to stomp the creature out of existence, but the eight-legged one proved too fast for her; it climbed up the wall and disappeared into a crevice.
I said, "Catherine, it's just an ordinary spider."
"No, it isn't. Not even close. It's a messenger."
Rebecca would have deemed her overly-dramatic, Naomi a bit touched, Florence downright insane and Vivian in dire need of a nap. But all this did was seal the deal that I wouldn't let her out of my sight until this Fear Dubh lost interest or it went away forever. Hopefully it would happen soon.
I tugged on her hand, "Come on, Catherine. Let's get some lunch. The spider will most likely be gone."
She didn't protest the idea. I got her out of my house and into my car, where I drove us to a nice diner. We didn't say much to one another during our meals, though.. It wasn't out of budding contempt, far from it; it was the king of silence where no words were spoken but things were being said. Catherine held my hand almost the entire time.
Florence's words (Maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do) still rang in my head. Wasn't I already letting her fight this herself? Should I be there for her more, or less? I couldn't think straight. All I wanted is to keep my Cathie safe from anything and everything that threatened her. And I knew in my heart that she would do the same.
We wrapped up our leftovers and I drove back to my house. My parents welcomed us back, as did my brother, and I told them that Catherine would most likely stay with us for a while. "Just for a few days at most," Catherine added. "I won't take up all your time."
A call was made to the Moores and they approved of the arrangement. I went with Catherine to her house to pick up some extra clothes and some toiletries, double and triple checking that she had eveything she needed. Nothing like finding out mid-shower you left something you had to have back at home.
Luckily for us, the checklist filled up and away we went back to my house for dinner. Mom had made her famous Korean steak recipe; Catherine and I nearly ate five whole helpings. It was more than enough to fill us up and want to skip out on dessert. Both of our classes started early the next day, so we decided that it would be for the best if we both headed to bed.
Catherine slept with me, as she usually did during sleep overs, and we both drifted off in no time.
It was the calm between devistating storms.
"How are you feeling? What happened after you left? Are you alright? Did that guy hurt you?" My questions were coming out of my mouth faster than I could process. She regained her balance quickly and responded in a gentle tone, "How about you get me a tall glass of water and I'll explain. I'm so parched."
I went back to the kitchen and gave her said glass of water, placing it on the table where she had just sat. In mere seconds the entire glass was downed, leaving nothing but small droplets at the bottom. Catherine didn't look like she had been tussled by shrubbery or beaten by ill-mannered folk. Her nose was clean of any blood, thank God, and her clothes were without any stains. However tempted I was, I didn't immediately think that all was well and good unless she told me it was.
Sitting down next to her, I said, "I tried calling you after you left, just to make sure you were okay. But you didn't pick up so I assumed that you turned your phone off."
Catherine brow furrowed, getting this 'not again!' look on her face, "What time?"
"I think barely five minutes."
"Yeah, my phone was on."
Damn. I hoped that this wasn't going to become a habit, "What do you think is going on with our phones? They're both top of the line and they have never done this before. Maybe it's bad service or something."
Catherine said, "I don't think it's anything we can help...but let me explain: I went to Dr. Frey's office to see what he thought, but it was closed. Then I went to the school's library to read up on it, but lo and behold those books were gone. After that..." she paused, looked away and chewed her lip. "...I went home. And I guessed I slept, because I can't--"
She stopped herself, as if she never intended on telling me that much. "Nevermind."
"You can't do what, Catherine?" What was she going to tell me?
"I went home and slept." she replied, but I wasn't blind or deaf; I could plainly see that she wasn't telling the whole truth. She had never lied to me before about anything. I wasn't angered, oh no. I was scared. This was so out of character for her. "No, really." I said, "You can tell me what really happened. You know I won't judge."
Catherine looked torn between telling me the truth and fibbing again. "I...don't know how to say it."
"I only remember driving home, and then waking up in my bed." She buried her head in her hands as she tried to recall the day before, "...I left at 2 pm, came back 2:44, and I was on the road at 2:54...and that's it. All I can remember after is opening my eyes in my room and seeing that it was almost noon. I thought about you and I decided to drive over."
The boughts of memory loss were happening again. What happened in those hours that she couldn't seem to remember? It wasn't a whole week like before, but it could soon escalate to that. I couldn't look at this through a logical, scientific way anymore. Something was after Catherine, something that I doubted we could explain. But what was it? Demon? Monster? Spirit? Something else entirely? And what did it want?
I didn't know the answer to any of them.
Suddenly Catherine's attention turned to the floor, staring intently at a big spider that loitered around the feet of her chair. She almost tripped over herself trying to stomp the creature out of existence, but the eight-legged one proved too fast for her; it climbed up the wall and disappeared into a crevice.
I said, "Catherine, it's just an ordinary spider."
"No, it isn't. Not even close. It's a messenger."
Rebecca would have deemed her overly-dramatic, Naomi a bit touched, Florence downright insane and Vivian in dire need of a nap. But all this did was seal the deal that I wouldn't let her out of my sight until this Fear Dubh lost interest or it went away forever. Hopefully it would happen soon.
I tugged on her hand, "Come on, Catherine. Let's get some lunch. The spider will most likely be gone."
She didn't protest the idea. I got her out of my house and into my car, where I drove us to a nice diner. We didn't say much to one another during our meals, though.. It wasn't out of budding contempt, far from it; it was the king of silence where no words were spoken but things were being said. Catherine held my hand almost the entire time.
Florence's words (Maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do) still rang in my head. Wasn't I already letting her fight this herself? Should I be there for her more, or less? I couldn't think straight. All I wanted is to keep my Cathie safe from anything and everything that threatened her. And I knew in my heart that she would do the same.
We wrapped up our leftovers and I drove back to my house. My parents welcomed us back, as did my brother, and I told them that Catherine would most likely stay with us for a while. "Just for a few days at most," Catherine added. "I won't take up all your time."
A call was made to the Moores and they approved of the arrangement. I went with Catherine to her house to pick up some extra clothes and some toiletries, double and triple checking that she had eveything she needed. Nothing like finding out mid-shower you left something you had to have back at home.
Luckily for us, the checklist filled up and away we went back to my house for dinner. Mom had made her famous Korean steak recipe; Catherine and I nearly ate five whole helpings. It was more than enough to fill us up and want to skip out on dessert. Both of our classes started early the next day, so we decided that it would be for the best if we both headed to bed.
Catherine slept with me, as she usually did during sleep overs, and we both drifted off in no time.
It was the calm between devistating storms.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
The Downward Spiral part 3
I tried to text her again to find that, strangely, I couldn't. My phone would lock up and then restart. Whatever this glitch was, it seemed to be hell-bent on making sure that I couldn't call or message. I shut my cell down and then went to sleep. How I even managed to was a mystery to me. My thoughts were filled with my fiance and worried that something bad might have happend or will happen soon.
Morning couldn't have come faster for me. I didn't touch breakfast and the drive over was more like a haze than anything else. Anthropology class, usually fun and exciting for me, seemed to go on forever and a day. The second it ended I bolted out the door and browsed the cafeteria for her. In a corner table, I found Catherine absent-mindedly eating a sandwich. She looked resigned, a bit sad even. I tapped her on the shoulder and she whipped around. She stood up and nearly knocked me over with the strength of her hug.
"Elizabeth, why didn't you answer my texts? I even called you almost forty times." she looked just a tad angry with me, but I could see that she was far more relieved than anything else.
"I could ask you the same thing. I texted you, too. And when did you call me? I never got a voicemail or anything." I pulled out my phone and showed her. Then again, I didn't need to. Catherine would have believed me anyway. She looked at my phone then casually slammed it on the table. "You okay...?" It was a stupid question; no, everything wasn't okay.
"This shit is ending, Elizabeth. It's ending for real this time. I won't let anything happen to you or our friends, or anyone else. I swear to God." She pushed what remained of the sandwich away, picking up her backpack and walking towards and out of the cafeteria door. I followed her outside saying, "Wait, are we in danger?"
Catherine muttered under her breath, "Not if I can help it."
"Weren't you going to tell me more about this thing? If you're planning anything you better count the rest of us in it. I'm not letting you do it alone."
She slowed down enough for me to reach out and grab her gently, forcing her to turn around. I never saw Catherine look so sad in all my life. "Please. Please. I love you too much to see you be this way. There is strength in numbers. All six of us can do something."
"Ellie, let me do this. I know more, and I've seen more. Trust me."
Trust. I had been trusting Catherine my entire life, and never had she let me down. So why was I hesitating this time? Did I trust her? Yes, I did. But I was afraid for her. I pulled her into a hug, not saying anything. I couldn't think of any words that could fit the situation at the time. She whispered, "I won't let this thing go near you. I won't."
Catherine untangled herself from the hug and kissed my forehead. "I'll be right back."
"No. Let me come with you."
"I can't. But in case something happens, just repeat, 'here comes the sun' over and over again. It always works." She sounded like someone going on the mission of a lifetime, not even remotely overdramatic, but very solemn. "Stay safe, I'll be right back. I'll go to your house when I'm done."
I should have followed. I should have grabbed her arm and refused to let go. But I didn't. Why? Why?
I walked back into the cafeteria, completely forgetting that I had abandoned my backpack. Not like I even cared at that point. Immediately I called Catherine's number. Nothing. Not even voicemail. What the hell? Alright. I called Florence, who picked up after three rings. "Yo, I'm working out, girlie. What's up?"
Okay, that worked. "I'm worried about Catherine."
"What's wrong?"
"She is acting strange again. I think that she might have seen that thing again, or it's looking for her."
"No way. Where is she now?"
"...well, she left for her car."
"Okay, stop talking to me and follow her!"
"I don't know why I didn't. Catherine said she didn't want it near me."
"Mother of God, El. Call her now! Call her and ask her what the hell is going on."
"I did. Nothing happened. The call didn't go though."
She sighed loudly. "How? You have the best phone ever. Hers isn't too bad either. I think she might have shut it off. Honestly, and this is just me, maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do." A pause; Florence chugged her water bottle. "Just saying."
Rebecca was the one to tell me that there might have been something less than mystical at work. Florence was now telling me that perhaps this was her fight. And maybe, just maybe, Florence was right. Maybe.
"You going to be okay, El?" she said.
"I hope so."
"Stay strong, okay? I know it's hard, but you can do it."
"Thanks, Flo. Talk to you later."
"See ya."
I hung up the phone, walked to my car, and drove home. I told my mother what happened and pretty much bawled my eyes out. I was so worried, and I berated myself for not following her when I could. Thank God for my mom being there when she could. Mothers are the best, they really are.
A day later, after me worrying my head off, I got a text from Catherine: I'll be there in five minutes.
Morning couldn't have come faster for me. I didn't touch breakfast and the drive over was more like a haze than anything else. Anthropology class, usually fun and exciting for me, seemed to go on forever and a day. The second it ended I bolted out the door and browsed the cafeteria for her. In a corner table, I found Catherine absent-mindedly eating a sandwich. She looked resigned, a bit sad even. I tapped her on the shoulder and she whipped around. She stood up and nearly knocked me over with the strength of her hug.
"Elizabeth, why didn't you answer my texts? I even called you almost forty times." she looked just a tad angry with me, but I could see that she was far more relieved than anything else.
"I could ask you the same thing. I texted you, too. And when did you call me? I never got a voicemail or anything." I pulled out my phone and showed her. Then again, I didn't need to. Catherine would have believed me anyway. She looked at my phone then casually slammed it on the table. "You okay...?" It was a stupid question; no, everything wasn't okay.
"This shit is ending, Elizabeth. It's ending for real this time. I won't let anything happen to you or our friends, or anyone else. I swear to God." She pushed what remained of the sandwich away, picking up her backpack and walking towards and out of the cafeteria door. I followed her outside saying, "Wait, are we in danger?"
Catherine muttered under her breath, "Not if I can help it."
"Weren't you going to tell me more about this thing? If you're planning anything you better count the rest of us in it. I'm not letting you do it alone."
She slowed down enough for me to reach out and grab her gently, forcing her to turn around. I never saw Catherine look so sad in all my life. "Please. Please. I love you too much to see you be this way. There is strength in numbers. All six of us can do something."
"Ellie, let me do this. I know more, and I've seen more. Trust me."
Trust. I had been trusting Catherine my entire life, and never had she let me down. So why was I hesitating this time? Did I trust her? Yes, I did. But I was afraid for her. I pulled her into a hug, not saying anything. I couldn't think of any words that could fit the situation at the time. She whispered, "I won't let this thing go near you. I won't."
Catherine untangled herself from the hug and kissed my forehead. "I'll be right back."
"No. Let me come with you."
"I can't. But in case something happens, just repeat, 'here comes the sun' over and over again. It always works." She sounded like someone going on the mission of a lifetime, not even remotely overdramatic, but very solemn. "Stay safe, I'll be right back. I'll go to your house when I'm done."
I should have followed. I should have grabbed her arm and refused to let go. But I didn't. Why? Why?
I walked back into the cafeteria, completely forgetting that I had abandoned my backpack. Not like I even cared at that point. Immediately I called Catherine's number. Nothing. Not even voicemail. What the hell? Alright. I called Florence, who picked up after three rings. "Yo, I'm working out, girlie. What's up?"
Okay, that worked. "I'm worried about Catherine."
"What's wrong?"
"She is acting strange again. I think that she might have seen that thing again, or it's looking for her."
"No way. Where is she now?"
"...well, she left for her car."
"Okay, stop talking to me and follow her!"
"I don't know why I didn't. Catherine said she didn't want it near me."
"Mother of God, El. Call her now! Call her and ask her what the hell is going on."
"I did. Nothing happened. The call didn't go though."
She sighed loudly. "How? You have the best phone ever. Hers isn't too bad either. I think she might have shut it off. Honestly, and this is just me, maybe she needs to conquer this herself. We can be there for moral support, but this is something she needs to do." A pause; Florence chugged her water bottle. "Just saying."
Rebecca was the one to tell me that there might have been something less than mystical at work. Florence was now telling me that perhaps this was her fight. And maybe, just maybe, Florence was right. Maybe.
"You going to be okay, El?" she said.
"I hope so."
"Stay strong, okay? I know it's hard, but you can do it."
"Thanks, Flo. Talk to you later."
"See ya."
I hung up the phone, walked to my car, and drove home. I told my mother what happened and pretty much bawled my eyes out. I was so worried, and I berated myself for not following her when I could. Thank God for my mom being there when she could. Mothers are the best, they really are.
A day later, after me worrying my head off, I got a text from Catherine: I'll be there in five minutes.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
The Downward Spiral part 2
We met at the cafe at 1 pm without any alarming incidents. A nice waitress sat us down at a table near the window, to which Catherine politely asked that we be moved farther back. She told me that the sun was too bright for her. I had no problems with this, but I was wondering what she was thinking about.
I drank a pumpkin chai latte, both palms on the forest green mug, and she a tall glass of caramel flavored milk. Our conversation for the most part was unremarkable, talking about school, friends, family, cracking jokes at the terrible parking lots out college had.
The fruit and nut salad I ate there was perfect beyond all perfection, if that is even possible. I offered Cathie a forkful, but she declined, so invested in her grilled cheese and tomato soup was she. It was only after we had paid the check and started to walk around the busy sidewalks that the conversation started to get strange.
I asked, "Did you sleep alright? No crazy dreams this time around?"
"No, thank God. I had a good night's rest."
"No creepy guys staring at you while you sleep?"
"Nope. Didn't see that guy."
"Still writing in the diary?"
"Yep."
It was starting to be pretty obvious that she was getting uncomfortable. So moistening my lips, I said, "I am so happy that you're feeling better, though. I'm glad you aren't coughing as much as you used to, and that you're doing well in your classes. No matter what, I'm here for you."
Catherine smiled, "I know that, Elizabeth. I just don't like talking about this thing. Just thinking about it creeps me out."
And for a while, the subject was dropped. We went into a candy store and bought an large assortment of sweets to nibble on. By the time we had our fill of the downtown, the sun had started to set. Catherine's body language betrayed a bit of nervousness at the coming darkness, so I had decided that it would be for the best to call it a day and head home.
Walking back to the lot in which our cars patiently waited, I said, "I think I saw that thing you were talking about the night we had our dinner. It was just standing there outside my house all creepy like, not really doing anything."
Here Catherine stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide. It was if I told her that I was dying of some incurable malady and had nine months left to live. "Are you serious, Elizabeth? You saw that?"
Yeah, I did." I said quietly. "I haven't seen it since, and it was probably a trick of the light, anyway."
"It wasn't." Catherine's voice was so steely and cold. I never heard her sound like that in all the years I have known her, and to be honest, it scared me a bit. "It wasn't at all."
"Then...?" I started to say. She grabbed my hand and began to drag me to my car, looking over her shoulder and around us in a frantic, paranoid manner. It was as if she believed the entire street had ears and eyes and would turn on us at any moment.
Catherine opened the car door for me and pushed me in, looking to her left and then her right. "Listen to me Elizabeth: go now, and don't stop for anyone. At any chance you get, you have to text me. At each stoplight, at each stop sign, until you get to you house. And then you have to call me. Hopefully then we can talk about it."
She hugged me tightly, kissed me as if she didn't want to ever stop, then walked quickly away to her own car. I watched her until I felt the urge to get out of the lot, at which point a strange loneliness swept over me. I drove back in silence, not even touching the radio. I texted her at each stoplight and stop sign, telling her that I'm still fine, that I am worrying again, and that I will call her when I was at home.
I did not receive any texts back the entire time. I kept sending them, praying that Catherine would reply. I couldn't have gotten home fast enough; the second I walked through the door I whipped out my phone and dialed her number.
It went straight to voicemail. My heart skipped a few beats, and the voice that said things were getting bad again got louder. No texts, no calls. Was she truly okay?
Hours later, I finally received all eighteen of her messages. What puzzled me was that they were all sent at the same time I was sending her texts. They stopped at the time I got home. My phone must have glitched or something, but it had never done that before.
I drank a pumpkin chai latte, both palms on the forest green mug, and she a tall glass of caramel flavored milk. Our conversation for the most part was unremarkable, talking about school, friends, family, cracking jokes at the terrible parking lots out college had.
The fruit and nut salad I ate there was perfect beyond all perfection, if that is even possible. I offered Cathie a forkful, but she declined, so invested in her grilled cheese and tomato soup was she. It was only after we had paid the check and started to walk around the busy sidewalks that the conversation started to get strange.
I asked, "Did you sleep alright? No crazy dreams this time around?"
"No, thank God. I had a good night's rest."
"No creepy guys staring at you while you sleep?"
"Nope. Didn't see that guy."
"Still writing in the diary?"
"Yep."
It was starting to be pretty obvious that she was getting uncomfortable. So moistening my lips, I said, "I am so happy that you're feeling better, though. I'm glad you aren't coughing as much as you used to, and that you're doing well in your classes. No matter what, I'm here for you."
Catherine smiled, "I know that, Elizabeth. I just don't like talking about this thing. Just thinking about it creeps me out."
And for a while, the subject was dropped. We went into a candy store and bought an large assortment of sweets to nibble on. By the time we had our fill of the downtown, the sun had started to set. Catherine's body language betrayed a bit of nervousness at the coming darkness, so I had decided that it would be for the best to call it a day and head home.
Walking back to the lot in which our cars patiently waited, I said, "I think I saw that thing you were talking about the night we had our dinner. It was just standing there outside my house all creepy like, not really doing anything."
Here Catherine stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide. It was if I told her that I was dying of some incurable malady and had nine months left to live. "Are you serious, Elizabeth? You saw that?"
Yeah, I did." I said quietly. "I haven't seen it since, and it was probably a trick of the light, anyway."
"It wasn't." Catherine's voice was so steely and cold. I never heard her sound like that in all the years I have known her, and to be honest, it scared me a bit. "It wasn't at all."
"Then...?" I started to say. She grabbed my hand and began to drag me to my car, looking over her shoulder and around us in a frantic, paranoid manner. It was as if she believed the entire street had ears and eyes and would turn on us at any moment.
Catherine opened the car door for me and pushed me in, looking to her left and then her right. "Listen to me Elizabeth: go now, and don't stop for anyone. At any chance you get, you have to text me. At each stoplight, at each stop sign, until you get to you house. And then you have to call me. Hopefully then we can talk about it."
She hugged me tightly, kissed me as if she didn't want to ever stop, then walked quickly away to her own car. I watched her until I felt the urge to get out of the lot, at which point a strange loneliness swept over me. I drove back in silence, not even touching the radio. I texted her at each stoplight and stop sign, telling her that I'm still fine, that I am worrying again, and that I will call her when I was at home.
I did not receive any texts back the entire time. I kept sending them, praying that Catherine would reply. I couldn't have gotten home fast enough; the second I walked through the door I whipped out my phone and dialed her number.
It went straight to voicemail. My heart skipped a few beats, and the voice that said things were getting bad again got louder. No texts, no calls. Was she truly okay?
Hours later, I finally received all eighteen of her messages. What puzzled me was that they were all sent at the same time I was sending her texts. They stopped at the time I got home. My phone must have glitched or something, but it had never done that before.
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