It's been almost a full week since the wake and funeral, and I haven't been doing too well. I've been in a nigh catatonic state, depressed beyond belief and even thought of suicide.
However, I just can't find it in me to actually do it. I have family and friends who are still alive and still love me, and it would kill them if I died as well.
The Moores are absolutely devastated. Those poor people, to lose their only child like that. Their eyes were so dead and empty, they barely registered any emotion at all other than sadness. And there isn't much I can do to comfort them.
I did record myself after I returned home, and I will put it up soon. I've just been trying to find my footing again
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
Arizona
A part of me doesn't want to do this. A part of me doesn't even want to repeat what I know, just because it is so wrong.
But you've all been there for me, so I suppose I owe you this.
These cross-country explorers found her in the long abandoned Seneca Lake Trading Post. According to them, they were going in to take some pictures and film silly stuff when they were overcome by the stench of death. One of the braver members of the group went into the dining hall and found my Catherine, face up in an ocean of blood. After calming down they called the police, who sealed off the area and then called Mrs. Moore. The explorer crew admitted to the police that they had taken pictures out of sick curiosity; obviously the cops told them to hand the pictures over once they were developed.
I'm not sure if I want to see them.
What was truly disturbing were how she died: the police say that Catherine had slit her own throat with a seven inch blade, which killed her within mere seconds. But there was one other wound: a deep and long cut across her stomach, so much so that someone was able to reach into her body and mess around with her organs. Surprisingly and unsettlingly, not a single one was missing. To add salt to the wound her precious engagement ring was gone.
Just writing that made me physically ill. Who would do that to someone as sweet as Catherine?
The wake is today and the funeral tomorrow. Maybe I will compose myself just enough to make a video, but no promises.
But you've all been there for me, so I suppose I owe you this.
These cross-country explorers found her in the long abandoned Seneca Lake Trading Post. According to them, they were going in to take some pictures and film silly stuff when they were overcome by the stench of death. One of the braver members of the group went into the dining hall and found my Catherine, face up in an ocean of blood. After calming down they called the police, who sealed off the area and then called Mrs. Moore. The explorer crew admitted to the police that they had taken pictures out of sick curiosity; obviously the cops told them to hand the pictures over once they were developed.
I'm not sure if I want to see them.
What was truly disturbing were how she died: the police say that Catherine had slit her own throat with a seven inch blade, which killed her within mere seconds. But there was one other wound: a deep and long cut across her stomach, so much so that someone was able to reach into her body and mess around with her organs. Surprisingly and unsettlingly, not a single one was missing. To add salt to the wound her precious engagement ring was gone.
Just writing that made me physically ill. Who would do that to someone as sweet as Catherine?
The wake is today and the funeral tomorrow. Maybe I will compose myself just enough to make a video, but no promises.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Announcement
On July 7, Mrs. Moore called to tell me the news I had been dreading to hear: Catherine had been found dead across the country in Arizona. Though she didn't give me the exact length of time she had been lying dead there, Mrs. Moore did say that it had been a while. I broke down then and there, throwing the phone and screaming myself hoarse.
I lost my best friend, my soul mate, my twin flame, my fiancée. I lost someone I will never get back. I lost a piece of myself. Mrs. Moore also had to call the rest of my friends, and it's been a spiraling nightmare.
I don't know if I want to go into detail as who how she died...it's quite brutal. Maybe when the news has processed I will share it, but the police believe that it was a suicide.
The wake and funeral will be in a few days, but the police still have no leads as to what lead up to her death.
I also decided to use YouTube as a way of talking to you all, in memory of our original plan. Thank you all for reading this blog, though I might still have use for it, I suppose.
The first video is found here: http://www.youtube.com/
I lost my best friend, my soul mate, my twin flame, my fiancée. I lost someone I will never get back. I lost a piece of myself. Mrs. Moore also had to call the rest of my friends, and it's been a spiraling nightmare.
I don't know if I want to go into detail as who how she died...it's quite brutal. Maybe when the news has processed I will share it, but the police believe that it was a suicide.
The wake and funeral will be in a few days, but the police still have no leads as to what lead up to her death.
I also decided to use YouTube as a way of talking to you all, in memory of our original plan. Thank you all for reading this blog, though I might still have use for it, I suppose.
The first video is found here: http://www.youtube.com/
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